Bride maid needs advise regarding wedding etiquette?

Question

This is my 1st time being a bride maid and need help. 1. Do the bride maids all go in and buy a gift for the bride together? 2. For the bachelorette party what is the bride maids responsibilty? Do we bring a gift?

I can't really ask the other BM's as I don't know them well(the bride is my BF's sister)and don't want to look like a fool.

Answer 1

They can go in together on a gift but it's not always the case. If no one has mentioned it then just get your own. Bridesmaids usually split the bride's expenses for the party and pay their own way. Gifts aren't required.

Answer 2

I think you need to plan a pow-wow with the other girls to discuss what you would like to do.  If everyone has an idea about the gifts they want to give, then buy your own.  Usually the bachelorette party is just a good way to go out and have fun.  The bridal shower is for gifts and such.  Don't feel the need to bring gifts to every get together you have with the wedding party.  Just standing up with her should be enough of a gift to the bride.

Answer 3

The bridesmaid is there to help the bride with whatever she needs help with.

The stress of your own wedding it too much to bare.

My bridesmaids and matrons of honor:

-helped with the invites

-planned the bridal shower (the food, the cake, the decor, the place, the inviations, the rsvps, etc,)

-planning my bachelorette party

-keep me on low stress level

-going with me to do wedding details

-and they're all taking the week off of work  before the wedding to be there for me... :-)

each bride has different things for their bridesmaids... but here are 2 websites that can help you!!!!

Answer 4

no, you buy a wedding gift individually.  you don't get gifts for the bachelorette unless it's a lingerie party or stock-the-bar party, if everyone's just going out with the bride to clubs or to eat or something, then the BM's split the cost of dinner, limo, etc so the bride pays nothing

Answer 5

you dont' have to all go in on a gift, but sometimes they choose too. i've always just given my own gifts.  up to you guys really!   for the bachlorette party you guys all plan something, you all pay for yourselves, and whoever goes splits up the costs of the bride.  no gifts.  if you have to throw a shower- you all plan, all pay for it.  you may want to bring at least a small gift or all the girls chip in for one gift.

doesn't hurt to talk to them, you won't look like a fool. you'll look like you want to be part of things and want things to run smoothly!

Answer 6

you should buy your own present for both occasions.

you have to show up for the bachelorette party and you might have to help with the party. ask the other bridesmaids if they need any help with the party

Answer 7

You can buy a gift for the shower or a gift for the wedding. Together or apart doesn't matter. You are under no obligation to buy two gifts.  Buy a card for the wedding if you gave a gift at the shower.

A bachelorette party is not a requirement and really, is a stupid thing in my opinion.  If you can't afford it, don't do it.  If you want to go out, just go out to dinner.  No gift required.  

I'm actually surprised that you were asked to be in the wedding, considering you aren't even a friend of the bride!

Answer 8

Well, you'll have to talk to the other BMs eventually. You're usually going to be responsible as a group for planning the bachelorette party.

In addition to that, you're there to help the bride with things. Ask her what she needs done, and what she wants you to do. If possible have her make you a list in the beginning and stick to it. If she asks you to do something else, use your judgment--it's her day, but don't let her walk on you.

Again, you'll want to communicate with the other BMs as much as you can, even if you don't know them well. You're a team now.

Answer 9

You won't look like a fool because every wedding is different. Sometimes the bridesmaids go in on a gift together, sometimes they each get a gift on their own. Sometimes they plan the bachelorette party, sometimes a different group of friends does that. Some bachelorette parties have gifts, some don't.

This is what I would do: Send an email to the maid of honor, or to the bridesmaid you know best, saying something like

"Hi Suzie,

So excited to be in Sandy's wedding with you! I wanted to touch base and see whether you all were planning to go in on a wedding gift together, and also find out what the plans are for the bachelorette party. Is there anything I can do to help?"

Answer 10

You can get a gift on your own if you want or (without decreasing your budget) you can go together with other bridesmaids and get a nice big gift. Some brides register for $100 + items, and given that you're in a group with others already, you're in a great position to see that the couple can get the items they want and really can't afford at all.

Answer 11

You don't have to all buy a wedding gift together.  You can buy your own. For the bachelorette party on the other hand,  you kinda have to hook her up,  when I was one and we went to Vegas, I got her all the knick knacks like a little white veil with pink devil horns so she can wear it when went out to the clubs, all of us bridesmaid wore mardi gras necklace with little penises hanging from it (its not bad as it sounds) its actually very funny..you can get most of this at a party favor store, we also got her gifts that night like s**y lingerie or erotic stuff to use with her husband etc..

Also we were responsible for buying her drinks and lap dances when we went to a guy strip club.. so I guess that's it just make her bachelerotte memorable. After all, it's her last night of singlehood.  Have and goodluck to you!

Answer 12

You won't look like a fool. Just go up and ask her what she is planning and what she suggests you should do because this is your first time being a brides maid.