Bride trying to tell her what to wear?

Question

my friends brother is getting married next month and his fiance just called my friend and told her that "she has to wear brown to the wedding" she is not even IN the wedding! does the bride realy have any say in what a guest wears? i understand its her wedding but i dont feel its right for her to tell her this...she is also saying that my friends son has to wear a brown suit! and the worst part is its not even a formal wedding its pretty much a freakin cookout

Answer 1

Absolutely not! While all brides feel as though their wedding is their day and at some point most every bride will catch her share of bridezilla fever, she does not get to call all the shots. (Even if her point of this color matching scheme is to make sure the group photos blend well) Everyone will be there to celebrate her union with her husband, not her ability to micromanage everyone and everything down to the color of their shoelaces. Your friend might say something like "Gosh "Bride," I'm so excited to have the honor of seeing you and "Groom" get married and I'm sure the wedding will be wonderful with all of the care and attention to detail you have put into it. I'm sure you'll understand that while I want to accomodate your requests, I will feel much more comfortable wearing __________." If the bride wants to argue her point, your friend could listen politely and wear what she is comfortable in.

Answer 2

Ha. Show up in whatever you feel is appropriate and if the bride actually has the gall (and time and whatnot) to ask you on her wedding day say ``Well I was already planning to wear this.`` And your friend should NOT have to buy a new suit for her son. If she wants to be indulgent she can get him a tie with brown in it but the most a little boy should be dressed up is a nice shirt with khakis anyway.  Again if the bride is really up to asking your friend can say ``Well he had these pants and they are kind of brown`` and laugh.

If she is not going to ask your friend or her son to be in the wedding then she does not get to dictate what they wear as long as it is appropriate.

Wow.

Tell her not to stress out. ;-)

Answer 3

No, one does not tell guests what to wear. One can put formal, or black tie or casual on an invitation, not "must wear brown".

If it is phrased as a suggestion, such as if you have something brown and would like to wear it, that would be fine.

But just telling someone, no, rude, very rude.

I would be sure that I personally would not be buying anything brown to wear to a wedding, and I would probably skip the wedding, and forget to give a present too.

Brides: heed this message well. When you start telling guests what to do, what to buy and not buy for a present, or exactly what to wear, it decreases the number of guests, the amount spent on the gifts, and the number of gifts. And not only for the weddding, but for the showers, engagement parties, apartment/shower warmings, baby shower gifts, and right through till the kid is grown. People have long memories, and people do not like being treated rudely.

Have you all seen the new Bridezilla show where the family and friends start talking back? Again, pay attention.

And brown! the least likely color to look good in photographs, everybody will blend together and look like one big lump of brown!

Answer 4

There are some places where dictating the colour of the guests' attire is considered appropriate. However I can't see any excuse for the suit thing. Suits on little kids aren't worth the bother.

Answer 5

Ugh! I'm so tired of all the "have to's" with Weddings these days-most people focus more on the wedding than the actual marriage-if it's not a formal wedding who cares what people wear-at my cousins day wedding people wore Khaki pants and golf shirts! Seriously!

Answer 6

It's the bride's day, and if she would like everyone to be coordinated for the wedding, can't they accomodate her? It's like it would be part of the gift, and it would look SO cool! Besides, is it bothering your friend as much as it is you?

Answer 7

The bride might make a suggestion if she feels she must but she cannot dictate what colors the guests wear to the wedding.

Answer 8

The couple has no say whatsoever in what their guests wear to their wedding, even if the wedding is "themed". The guests *should* know the rules of thumb well enough to choose the proper attire.

Answer 9

maybe everyone is wearing brown

Answer 10

Wow. I wouldn't wear brown. On purpose.

She has no say over it.

Answer 11

I find that to be a little strange.

Maybe she has something planning that involves specific colours?

Answer 12

if they are to be in the fomal photos the brise is just trying to get everyone coordinated!

Answer 13

I don't understand why brides think they can dictate what their guests wear. If they aren't in the wedding, bridezilla has no say on their attire. At most she can state formal or cocktail attire on the invite. And I agree with other posters: brown? Everyone in brown is not going to look that great in pictures. I say where what you would usually wear to a wedding and ignore the color "rule".

Answer 14

If I were the friend, I'd try to find out if other guests were told the same thing...but ya know, as long as it's not white a guest can wear any color they choose.

If the bride wants a theme for her wedding fine, but guests are under absolutely no obligations, other than dressing to proper 'code' (casual,semi-formal, formal) and not wearing solid white, to dress to whatever the theme is, or so the pix have a certain 'look'.....that is micro-managing IMO and just plain silly.....in your friend's case it's also very rude of the bride.....

they don't 'have to'wear any particular color.......tell your friends to wear what they want.

Answer 15

Some brides do ask people to wear one color to the wedding.

I think its a dumb idea, but its not unheard-of.  I honestly don't know why brides feel they can get away with it, but some do.

If I were told to wear a particular color, I'd promptly decline the invite.

Answer 16

Maybe she has something specific she wants with pictures.  It doesn't sound like that big of a deal.  It is her wedding -- just give her what she wants.

Answer 17

I dont think she has any say in it.

I mean, she may want everyone to wear brown. but she kinda seems rude.

I would just not wear brown to make her mad. but that's me.

You could also just wear brown and make her happy.

Or you could jsut talk to her about it. And ask her why.

Answer 18

I've never heard of a bride telling the quests what to wear.  That's different!  She might think since she's the bride everyone has to listen and do what she wants them to.