Brides to be.....would you be offended if I.........?

Question

was in your wedding party and got my own hair proffesionally blow dried and straightened?

My SIL is having an evening wedding and wants us to go over in the afternoo to get ready. She is not paying for us to go to a salon and wants us to straighten our hair with her at the house. The problem is this, I have no hair skills what so ever. When I do my own hair it looks awful. I was planning to make a 9AM appt and just have the gal blow dry it straight and even and just run the iron through it to get out the frizzies. I'm not getting it styled in any way, just blow dried. My SIL is having her hairdresser friend help possibly pin our sides up, if time alots but if not, we are just going down the aisle with straight hair down natural.

She told me there is no need to go to a salon and that her friend can help but I have seen many a wedding and know that the bride's hair always takes a long time. And there is no guarantee this gal will have time. I'm doing to look good for her pics!

Answer 1

I wouldnt be offended. Just assure the bride you are not getting it styled, just blow dried. And reiterate that you are doing this because you have unusually difficult hair and you would feel better getting this out of the way early in the morning, just in case time is running short.

Answer 2

I wouldn't be offended at all.

Answer 3

I would not be made....by all means do it and surprise her so that way there will be more time for her to get ready....but maybe say something to the other girls and see about going together and maybe getting some money to pay for her hair as well...My SIL did my hair and it was fine but now I wish I had just paid for a salon style!!!

Answer 4

I think you need to explain it just like you did here. Tell her your hair will not be styled in anyway, just getting the frizz out. Tell her that you are doing this in the morning before you have to meet up. It will be one less thing for the bride to have to worry about before the wedding. I'm sure she will understand. I think she just misunderstands what you are wanting to do. Pheraps get it done for a special girls night out and have her go with you to calm her fears. good luck.

Answer 5

oh i dont think she should be mad at all, the fact that you want to put extra in to look nice is only a positive!

Answer 6

girl if you are paying for it what does it matter? just do it..she wont be upset...she'll have a millin things on her mind...

Answer 7

I think that's perfectly fine. It sounds like she's just being kind and not trying to demand more time and money from you for her day.

I would appreciate you knowing a flat iron is no good in your hands ;o) Should cost you $20 or so!

Just do your thing and be there for the time you had been asked to be there anyway, maybe having one less girl to look after will relieve some stress in the end and free's you to help others get ready!

Answer 8

i think you should just go to your own salon and show up to her house like that.i dont care what my bridemaids do with there hair.

Answer 9

there is no reason she should be offended if you are paying for it your self and are still getting it done the way she wants.. its your money....if she wants your hair to possibly be pinned on the sides have your hairdresser do that too.. just saves time...  you may want to get it done a little later than 9am though.. you don't want it to flop by the time of the wedding... unless she is a control freak, she should not have a problem with it.. i agree, when i am in weddings, i want to look good and i will spend the extra money and pamper myself a little too... maybe you can even get your salon to do your make up for you... but don't get it done early in the morn.. maybe you could set up your appointment for around the time all the girls are going to her house.. just make sure you get there in time to get dressed, help out and get pics....

good luck.

Answer 10

I can't imagine her minding at all!!!

I would be so grateful if people tried to look good. I would say that you should do it and not worry.

It sounds like she's just trying to save you money which is sweet of her, not prohibit you having you hair done.

Have fun at the wedding. :)

Answer 11

Go to the salon.  If you are on time, there's no problem!

Answer 12

I wouldn't care, but I wasn't the kind of bride who thought anyone else's hairdo had anything to do with my wedding.

Answer 13

Of course not! why on earth would she be offended! go and get it done.

Answer 14

I don't see a problem with you going and getting your hair blown out and straightened earlier in the day, especially if you know you're not too handy with a flat-iron yourself.  I don't think the bride will have an issue with you wanting to look your best on her big day- after all, what kind of a bride wants a bunch of fuzzy-headed bridesmaids?  Maybe what you can do is get your hair done, then still go over there while the other girls are doing their hair and maybe run the flat iron over your hair one more time to get it extra-smooth.  That way, you're participating in the getting-ready portion without jeopardizing how your hair will look by doing it all yourself.  Besides, if you're getting your hair done in the afternoon and the wedding's not until evening, you'll probably need a touch-up before you hit the ceremony anyway.

Answer 15

I say to go and get it done... I wouldn't be offended if one of my bridesmaids wanted their own beautition to do their hair for my wedding next year, as long as they had it styled the way that was uniform to the rest of the bridesmaids... I wouldn't worry about her gettitng mad because she will have a great deal of things on her mind that day.  I think that she just may feel bad about having you to pay for a great deal of stuff and wanted to keep you from spending the money and maybe that's why she's pushing the issue of her friend doing your hair!?!

Answer 16

Get your hair done at the salon if you are worried about it.  It will look good, will take away from the stress in the room of everyone doing their hair, and you SIL shouldn't really care.

Answer 17

I don't see why anyone would be offended. The last thing I'd want is one of my bridesmaids fussing and getting upset and frustrated or lagging behind and looking not too great in pictures. Just go in the morning and have it nicely blowdried and get there and you can help the bride more instead of fuss over your hair.

All the best

Answer 18

Honey you go and do what you need to do.,  You want to get your hair ready for the stylist.  You might be making a good choice.  I know a bride that took all the time with the stylise and her bridesmaids had to do what they could themselves at the last minute.  They looked a bit wrecked.  I don't know if she did it on purpose but I would tell you, you know your hair best and you should do what is going to make you look good and feel good.  So go to your hairdresser and get the frizz taken care of and then go to the bride's gathering and let the stylist pin it or style it to suit   I agree with you  the woman might not have time to get ot everyone and the bride will be the priority.  So go do what ya need to do and don't mention it to the bride.  IF she comments  tell her what you just said.  You thought there might not be enough time to get to everyone so.....

Answer 19

Not at all. Do whatever makes you comfortable.

Answer 20

Just let her know you'll need to take care of your hair yourself because you have "really problem hair" and your stylist knows for sure how to make it the way she wants it to look.  If you put it in terms of "I'm doing this so that my hair looks the way you want it", I can't imagine she'd have a problem.  But I'd just give her a quick heads up and not make a big deal about it.  Change the subject right after you tell her.

Answer 21

As long as your hair looks nice, you arrive on time and you pay for it yourself, I wouldn't care what you had done with it.

Answer 22

Hey, your plan is awesome. Just stick with it and she won't have time to worry about it when you show up already ready to go.

Answer 23

I wouldn't be offended.If you think thats the right thing to do,than go right ahead.I'd do the same thing.

Answer 24

Go for it!  From one person with frizzy hair to another, I completely feel your pain and would do the same thing myself.

Answer 25

MY BMs want to get their hair and make up done on their own. I told then that i was doing my own hair and that a friend that I have may help with make-up and another one with hair. But they wanted to get it done professionally at their expense.

It did not offend me at all.

Good luck

Answer 26

I would say get your hair done.

Thirty years from now, when people look back at the wedding album you don't want people saying, "oh, who was the frizzy headed girl?"

Seriously,  You are taking the time and spending your own money so I see no reason to be concerned about this.

Get your hair done...heck I'd say even get your makeup done if you didn't want to bother with it.   Then you would have more time to help the others get ready too.  

I don't see how one stylist will be able to get to everyone in the time allotted.  

Does the bride just want people to save money or is she afraid of being upstaged if someone looks better than she does?

Answer 27

hey, if you really want to pay for it than go ahead! i can't see why she'd bothered that you actually want to spend more to look nice for her pics and wedding.  if you feel better doing it this way than go ahead.

Answer 28

I don't see it being rude, you got to make sure your hair is looking good for your SIL big day.

Answer 29

I wouldn't care..as long as your hair looked nice.

Answer 30

As long as it doesn't interfere with the plans for the day not at all. If your hair is hard to manage, this is fine!

Just be sure to be plenty available when the bride needs you in the afternoon.

Answer 31

I say do what you think is best for you. I wouldnt be offended