Bridesmaid Issue. Drama. Help!?

Question

I was friends with a group of girls from childhood and still remain their friends to this day. Problem is two of them got in a fight. I did not want any drama on my wedding day, so I chose to leave one of the girls who got in the fight out of the wedding party. Now this girl is hurt. Help!! I did not want to hurt anyone's feelings, but at the same time need to think of myself on my day and want the least amount of stress possible. What can I do?

Answer 1

Do you have a place for her in the wedding, like a reader or guest book officiant?  

Answer 2

It's your wedding.  That's the most important thing to remember.  You get to choose who you pick to be in your wedding party.  It's your day and you are right, you get to think of yourself on this day.  

You have a few options if you are unsure of your decision.

First, if you want to have both of them in the party....you know them both and what they are capable of...or not capable of.  If you think that they could care about you enough to not ruin your day, you could sit down with both of them and voice your concerns..(only if you really wish you could have both in the party...)

Or...you could include the one who's not in your party by inviting her to participate in another way that is important...like a speach or something....

But, again, you do not have to do anything you don't want to do, or anything that would jeopardize your wedding.  Unfortunately, sometimes feelings get hurt.  You do have a right to have your day your way.....

That's all I got!

Congratulations and good luck!

Answer 3

I think that you should have left both of them IN. If they can't get along for one day to make you happy then that's really sad. It's not like they have to talk. They can avoid each other the whole time at the reception, I don't see why it should be that hard for them. You need to talk to them and tell them that you want both of them in, but would really appreciate it if they could put their differences aside to help you celebrate your day. If they can't agree to do that, then kick them both out!

Answer 4

This is your wedding and although some of us would have done it differently, what's done is done. I really don't see why you should have to justify yourself to her. Its actually a little selfish on her part because she's missing the whole point and taking the focus off whats important...you and your fiance making a promise to spend your lives together. Just tell her you didn't intend to hurt her but this is how it is. You don't even need to offer an apology. If she can't move on then I wouldn't even bother inviting her as a guest.  

Answer 5

My point of view is as the person who was left out.  My brother and his wife didn't ask me to be in their wedding and I was crushed.  He is my only sibling.  I wasn't asked to be a bridesmaid until the bride and her "best friend" had a fight 1 month before the wedding.  I accepted, but was then "un-asked" when they made up 2 weeks before the wedding.  I understood that my brother didn't want a girl on his side as a "grooms-woman" but I thought he should have asked his bride to invite me to be on her side since I'm his only sibling.  He chose 2 of her brothers and her son as groomsmen so the whole wedding party was hers.  In the end, I decided that I wanted to maintain my close relationship with both of them and let it go.

In my opinion, you should sit down with each of your friends and tell them how you're feeling.  If you truly want them both and they are good friends, they should be able to bury thier differences for one day for the sake of your happiness.  If you have enough time before the wedding to include the other girl, that is, IMO, the best option.

Answer 6

You probably should have left both of them out.  It was a tough decision, but you have many tough decisions ahead of you now that you are getting married.  Just do your best to explain the situation.  She probably will still be hurt, but there is not much you can do about it, but move on and prepare for the most important day of your life, next to having children.

Answer 7

I would have left them both out, not just one. How did you pick one over the other?

Answer 8

You should still have included her in the wedding party. Leaving her out only caused more drama. Is it too late to add her?