Bridesmaid Question- My best friend and I had a falling out.?

Question

My old best friend and I had afalling out because I was mad at her for only hanging out once in 1 year. This all happened during my wedding planning. I did not put her in my wedding because I felt that she just did not want anything to do with me anymore. We finally made up a couple weeks ago. Now all my girls have bought their dresses. Mind you I was her maid of honor 4 years ago. Besides the fact that it is getting kind of late to buy a bridesmaid dress (wedding is 3 months away) and the fact that she will be giving birth 1 month before the wedding, I was thinking it would be a good idea to give her a different job. I was thinking of having her read some scriptures or a poem during the ceremony. Would that be a good idea or can you think of another idea of something special for her to do? Would you appreciate this job or would you think it was a half-a** way of keeping you out of my wedding? Thanks!

Answer 1

Is this an issue of uninviting her to be a bridesmaid (asking her to step down), or figuring out a job for her at the wedding? If you haven't already asked her to do anything, you don't have to. You can just invite her to attend as a guest, perhaps with a follow-up call saying that you don't want her to feel distracted from the new baby, who should be her first priority, and that you simply hope she can attend and have a great time.

Answer 2

I was in this exact same situation.  I told her I wanted her to play a role if she would by reading scripture.  She was more releived than ever to know she wasn't going to have to buy some crappy dress that would sit in her closet.

Just call her and tell her, what you wrote above and tell her to be honest if she'd like to read you would be honored if she would.

Congrats!

Answer 3

I tell you what I went through the same thing with my wedding. I look back on it and I wish I would have made her a part of my wedding somehow. I would ask if she would do something like the poem and let her know that she is special to you! She will feel like you still care about your friendship. Also with only having a baby a month before the wedding she might like that idea better than standing that whole time. Its exhausting having a new born.

Answer 4

She could be your witness if you like :)

Let her do a reading of her own at the ceremony

Then you could say a little something - thanking her & saying that you had fallen out but your friendship is stronger than ever!

Answer 5

I would tell her the truth, that you hadn't spoken to her in a long time, etc. If she's pregnant she probably wouldn't want to be a bridesmaid. She can run the reception table. Which means making sure people have signed the book, helping the guests with their seating/table assignments, etc. Working the reception table is very important as well as helpful to the bride. Also, you shouldn't have been mad at her because she didn't "hang out". She is married, her life has changed; the single life is gone. Perhaps she just wanted to hang out with her husband.

Answer 6

For better or for worse, if you already invited your old best friend to be in the bridal party, you cannot disinvite her.  It sounds as if you hadn't been seeing her much because she was already married and starting a family.  Even so, you cannot go back on your invitation to include her in your bridal party.  Nowadays, there is always at least one bridesmaid who is pregnant, so that is not a very good excuse.  It is up to the the old best friend to bow down.  You might give her the option of being a reader instead of a bridesmaid.  Why not say something such as this, "I thought that you might like to have another option as to how you can participate in our wedding, so:  I've been thinking that since you have such a wonderful voice you might prefer to be a reader.  That way you won't get stuck with an oversized bridesmaid's dress that you'll never wear again."  Go with your instinct to include her as a reader.

Answer 7

I think you should ask her

Answer 8

Be honest. Talk to her about what you currently have planned and tell her you would love for her to be involved in your wedding. The two of you can discuss how. Hey, if she is really your friend, she will understand, right?