Bridesmaid again, about bride picking dress color...?

Question

Is it not right to try and subtly steer the bride at least away from if not toward a better dress color that would be flattering and not hideous, especially against our skin tone? Is it best to just bite our tongues, or is it okay to say something, like "are you sure about this color, how about this one instead..." Seems simple, but it actually concerns me!

Answer 1

this is a tough situation! if you come right out and say something, then you are going to upset her, but if she is making a real mistake, then you feel obligated as a friend to say something...

here's my suggestion...

do say something, but don't say anything too harsh (ugh. this green looks like p**p).

instead, make a nice suggestion instead of a criticism. say somthing like "you know, if we went with litte black dresses, we could all wear them again, and you know how cheap i am, and we could add p**p green in a sash..." or something to that effect.

only bring this up once. if she doesn't get the hint, then that's it. you can't harp on her, or it will get messy. good luck!  

Answer 2

It is ultimately the brides decision.. One way you can go about it though is when you try on dresses, they don't always come in the color she wants and the size you need while trying them on.  You could put the dress on in a color you like and go oh my gosh I just love this dress and this color is amazing... WOW! Or something like that... See how she responds to it.  If she then says something about the new color, great! It was "her" idea then.  But it really isn't right for you to say "how about this color instead"  Choose your words and see how she responds.  Good luck!

Answer 3

Its also simple to just drop out.  Its her wedding, she picks the colors.  

Answer 4

It's her wedding! Besides, the bride should be the most beauitful person on that day away, i wouldn't worry if the color doesn't work well with your skin tone, it's just one day!!!  You don't want to risk any drama with the bride, it her day and your there to support her.

Answer 5

Bridesmaids were not meant to be the stars of the show.  The bride is the star of the show.  If she wants to wear a drop dead gorgeous bridal gown while her maids are in puke green lace dress with a mustard yellow sash, then that is what they will wear.

When its your show, then you get to call the shots.

Answer 6

The bride and groom are the ones who choose the wedding colors and generally the bridesmaids dresses match the colors chosen.  So it would be rude to try to change the bride's mind and get her to pick a different color for your dress.

If you don't like the dress or the color and are going to be that selfish on someone else's wedding day, then drop out.

Answer 7

heck I did it just a couple weeks ago....bride was kinda wondering back and forth between a pale yellow and a champagne color.  She's getting married in this all wood lodge type thing in april....if she had done the champagne color, their would have been no color anywhere...she wants white flowers.  Plus, the champagne color looked awful on every bridesmaid, and it would have looked like c**p on the bride to if she had had to wear it.  the yellow isn't that much better, but we can always go tan or get hilights to pull it off, plus it would break up all the brown at the lodge....its gonna really and truly look better!  And in my defence, we were all subtly talking her out of it....lol!  its really coming together better with come color and she has more options to decorate with....it was a very good decision on her part! :)

Answer 8

Just keep this in mind- its her wedding, and she is the one that will have to look at the pictures the rest of her life.  If a friend sees you in a pic, you can just be like "Yeah, terrible choice, right, but she was the bride, its all what she wanted."  

Plus, maybe she is insecure about how she is going to look  so she wants to make sure there is no way her bridesmaids could steal attention.  But, it is her wedding, you kinda have to go with what she wants, especially if she is picking the dresses to match her color schemes.  Its only one day right?

Answer 9

The bride usually does get to pick the colour, because she pays for the dress.

If you really don't like the colour, but want to be a bridesmaid, you can do one of three things:

a) Join the ranks of we who have suffered through weddings dressed in salmon pink taffeta or mauve gauze with orange rosettes. It's tough but most of us can sympathise, and it makes for a lifelong good story!

b) Talk about it with her and explain you would feel uncomfortable in the colour as it does not suit you. Let her know you'll wear it if you must, but you'd love a chance to negotiate with her. Try and present an argument that having several colours looks sophisticated and modern (it does).

c) Offer to pay for your own dress, and choose the colour you want ~ from her general 'pallette'.

Cheers :-)

Answer 10

I don't think there is anything wrong with making helpful suggestions, as long as you keep in mind that ultimately it's her decision.  I did that for my cousin's wedding and she ended up going with my suggestion and absolutely loved the decision.

Answer 11

its her wedding.. let her choose the color

Answer 12

don't let others make you feel like a jerk for asking this question-its a valid question.  

i have a been a bridesmaid 5 times.  i have had to wear a white bridesmaids dress, a teal dress and hot pink (as examples).  ultimately, yes it is the brides decision, but she might change her mind on her own anyways if she sees you guys in those colors.  of the 2 of the 3 ugly colored dresses i wore the bride later said "i wish i had chosen a different color for you guys".  if she has a color scheme going, you might be screwed, but there is nothing wrong with giving a little input, and as someone before me said: if you're paying for it, you should have a little input.  if she chooses a color you don't like, just roll with it, it sucks, but there is really nothing you can do with it, but if she is open to ideas and suggestions, then there you go.

overall, really, there is nothing wrong with giving your opinion, just don't start a fight over it!

Answer 13

that is why you are called the brides "MAID". it is her day and she has probably already picked out plates and napkins that already match the dresses she wants your guys to wear. when i got married i was respectful to what my girls wanted. i knew my cousin had a birthmark that she was very anal about so i did pick a dress that covered it. i also tried to pick a dress that could fit into a decient price range. but i picked the color. if they hated the dress then we looked for different ones but the color was what i wanted.

Summer

Answer 14

Well you can put you input in and say "that lighter pink is so pretty, what do you think of this for the dresses" or "this blue would look so great with the flowers your chose" but you cant pick a totally different color or complain. In the end its her wedding!

Answer 15

If you're paying for the dress, then you deserve to have one that looks good on you.  You can kindly and gently ask about another color.  If the bride is super-sensitive, then she might get upset, but if she is a good friend and a decent person, she should want her friends to look nice and feel pretty in their dresses.  

Too often people make the mistake of thinking that the wedding is all about the bride and that the bride is doing her friends a favor by asking them spend hundreds of dollars to be in her wedding.  In reality, the wedding is about the bride and the groom and their family and friends coming together to celebrate, and you are, in fact, honoring and doing a favor to the bride by being in her wedding.  Hopefully your friend realizes this and will be reasonable about your and the other bridesmaids' dresses.

Answer 16

When my sister was getting married, she wanted the bridesmaids in a dress that was very unflattering on every girl, even the SKINNY ones. We did "steer" her in a different direction but it didn't go well. She regretted backing down from what she originally wanted and even cried about it to her fiancee one time. We should have just let her pick the ugly dress and suck it up! I understand that its hard to spend big $ on a dress that you don't like, especially since the pictures last a lifetime, but i really think its best. For your sake, i hope she changes her mind on her own. Best of luck!