Bridesmaid dress TOO big. i feel bride should pay to fix it?

Question

i got fitted for my dress only 4 WEEKS after i had my son. i told the bride, my friend, that i didnt want to get fitted this soon, but she INSISTED. so i got measured and wanted it smaller, but she INSISTED that i get the size they said. NOW is freaking HUGE. it's gonna cost probally more than 200 bucks to fix it. i dont think i should have to pay for it...what do you think?

the dress itself was 150 and i dont want to pay more than the freaking dress! i dont have money like that

Answer 1

Safety pins and duct tape baby!  You are never going to wear the dress again anyway (no doubt, I have 4 in my closet that I  thought just maybe could work for a certain occasion, but nope).  If you can find alterations you can afford (it should not cost $200), then have it altered, otherwise, just do the best you can to make it fit. Do you know anyone who can sew, just enough to make it wearable?

Whatever you do, do not ask the bride to pay for it.

Answer 2

I can certainly understand your frustration in this.  Don't worry too much, though.  I really don't believe alterations will cost more than the dress.  When you agreed to be a bridesmaid, you also agreed to the cost of the dress, which includes paying for your alterations.

I can understand the bride insisting on you getting measured.  Different dye lots can be named the same color, but may have some variance from one to the other.  In order for all the dresses to be the same, they should be ordered from the same dye lot of material.  Bridal shops will not order dresses for a bridal party until all the ladies are measured for this reason.  They also need to allow time for ordering and shipping.

There really wasn't anything wrong in ordering the dress in the size you measured for.  It never makes sense to purchase clothing, especially something fitted, based on weight you "intend" to lose.  Think of it this way:  what if you had gotten the smaller dress and hadn't lost the weight or hadn't lost all of it?  

It is much easier to make a dress smaller than to add material to make it larger.  I've seen dresses like this where they had to be made larger and it looks horrible.

You did have the option to override the bride and order the size you wanted.  No one held a gun to your head to make you order that size, did they?

Answer 3

if the dress is only $150, it won't cost $200 to alter it; $50 at most. if you really feel this strongly about it being her fault, talk to her and tell her how you feel. but honestly, she has a million other things going on right now, and this will be the last of her worries. good luck

Answer 4

poor you! congrats on the baby. offer to pay half of the cost of the alteration, that might shame the bride into paying for all of it, but if not you still dont have to pay it all.. don't worry it won't cost $200

Answer 5

it won't cost 200 dollars to alter the dress......

Answer 6

Ok, first of all, there is no way that the dress will cost that much to alter. You seriously need to find another seamstress. Also, I can kind of see why she was insisting on you being fitted at that time. When a shop orders the dresses, they wait until after EVERYONE gets fitted & pays to order them together. They do this to ensure that they are all from the same dye lot (so they will be the same color). She was either worried that if she waited longer that they would not come in time for the wedding (& in enough time for everyone to get theirs altered as dresses never fit perfectly just as ordered) or she didn't think that it would be right for the other girls to have to wait a few months after they paid/ordered their dress for them to be ordered.

That being said, she really shouldn't have made you order one so big, but, then again, she probably realized that a dress is far easier to take in (make smaller) than let out (make bigger).  

Answer 7

You're being dramatic.

First of all,  I find it VERY odd that the people at the store even allowed you to be measured that soon after giving birth.

You buy the dress in your basic measurements and only alter (have it properly fitted) once they come in and are paid for. Yes they do need to be ordered together so they all come from the same dye lot.

My maid of honour is 5 months along and they ordered the dress one size bigger than she was pre-pregnancy (tiny tiny girl who will not gain much weight anywhere but the tummy) and told her not to consider altering it until a few weeks before the wedding so she has over 9 months to deal with any post baby weight.

Secondly, it's never going to cost you $200.00 for alterations for a dress. $60 max.

Thirdly, I'd just suck it up and deal wih it.

Answer 8

Do not get the dress altered at the bridal shop or the place you purchased it.  Look in the yellow pages and find a seamstress/tailor that has a small, family run business.  They will be much cheaper and do a great job.  It shouldn't be more than $100.  Alterations are part of a bridesmaids budget.  It was safe to get it too big than too small.  I always suggest people don't go smaller in case they don't lose the weight.  

Answer 9

Talk to the bride and tell her that what she insisted on does not fit and you cant afford to get it altered.  See what she says.  

Answer 10

Well, no alteration should cost $200. Altering dresses is really not hard, and the materials to do it are not expensive, so if someone is trying to charge you $200, just find a different tailor, or a friend/family member that knows how to sew and can do it for you. I wouldn't think that an alteration like that would cost much more than $25 and maybe less than that.

If you cant afford the alteration, ask the bride to pay, and if she won't, just wear it the way it is. You didn't say anything about the style of the dress, or how many sizes too big it is, but it's probably not even that noticable.  

Answer 11

shop around and find a cheaper place to get it altered. $200 seems like way too much.

invite the bride over. tell her you got your dress back. act like you haven't tried it on yet. try it on for her. then say"oh, man, this dress is huge. what do u think? i guess i'll have to get it altered AGAIN"

only try to be nice :) lol

Answer 12

I'd just wear it like it is, you are never going to look good in a bridesmaid dress anyway.  That's the whole point.

If she doesn't like it she can pay for it to be altered.  Otherwise tough, it's her fault it is too big.

Answer 13

Two things:

1. I don't see how it's going to cost $200 to alter the dress. It shouldn't matter really on how they need to bring it in.

2. If you've already paid for alterations to the dress there shouldn't really be any additional charges. If you hadn't planned on paying for alterations you should have since even ones that fit good should still be altered to fit perfectly.

If you really do end up having to pay that much money to get it altered maybe you could (nicely and tactfully) try to ask if she'd be wiling to pay half. Really the classy thing to do though is to grin and bear it. Even though she insisted you still could pushed back or called when she wasn't around and changed the size.  

Answer 14

whoever is doing the alterations is s******g you- $200?  that's obscene.  find someone else to do it.  it is the bride's fault the dress doesn't fit you since she didn't listen to you and made you do the fitting too soon after your pregnancy, but if you ask her to pay she'll end up hating you.  find a place that can do the alterations cheaper and ask her to split it with you.

Answer 15

If I were in your shoes I would in conversation tell the bride that you have to find a good affordable seamstress to resize your dress.. and when she asks why tell her that you have lost all your pregnancy weight and now the dress is too big. She may just offer to pay for it.  If she is a friend she shouldn't have a problem with you coming to her with this.. it is her wedding and she needs to make sure everything is in order and that everyone's stuff fits. She will still have to have fittings on her dress all the way up until like the week before her wedding so don't feel bad telling her the dress doesn't fit.. common sense would tell a person that someone just having a baby is going to lose weight.

Answer 16

Find a friend/relative that can alter it for you. $200 is crazy!

Answer 17

Go to an alterations store and request a quote to alter the dress, and get it in writing.  Don't get the dress altered yet - instead, take it home.  Go over your budget and decide if you can afford the alterations.  If not, let the bride know that you're caught between a rock and a hard place.  Let her know that you can't afford to be in the wedding.  Perhaps she'll offer to pay or perhaps you'll have to bow out.  If you can afford it, get it altered.  Plain and simple, not everyone can afford to be a bridesmaid.

As far as the alterations, what an unfortunate and uncomfortable situation!  This may be a lesson to her in not "rushing things," though I wouldn't mention your earlier disagreement.  She'll figure it out on her own and it will be that much more poignant of a lesson.

Best wishes and congrats on your new son!

Answer 18

to be honest, i think the bride should pay for the alterations.  but being asked to be a bridesmaid means she thinks of you as a good friend, and would you want to get into an arguement with her over something that shouldn't be a big deal.  it's your friend's wedding, and you wouldn't want to ruin your friendship over this and possibly creating more friction between the two of you before her wedding.

i would suggest that bring the dress to the tailors/seamstress, and get a quote on how much it would cost for the alterations.  if it is reasonable and affordable, then let your friend know that you'll be altering the dress and that you would pay for it.  alterations won't cost a lot, probably $30-50 depending on what kind of work needs to be done.

be the better friend to her...all brides are control-freaks before the wedding.

Answer 19

I had a similar problem (though I have never been pregnant).

I was a bridesmaid, ordering my dress from a different city.  I got measurements done by my seamstress, and the bridal salon felt that I needed a size 22 (I'm somewhere around a size 14).  Everyone here thought that was waaaay too big.

What do you know, the dress was so big, that, fully laced I could still slip it on and off.

My seamstress (independant of any bridal store) altered it for me, to fit perfectly, she did an amazing job.  Though all the girls could tell it was altered because of how tight the lacing looked at the back.  

My point is, don't go to a bridal store, find a GOOD seamstress who does wedding/prom formal wear often, maybe ask to see some pics of what she's done (so you know she's good) and get her to alter it.  It should be much cheaper.  

If it still costs too much you should definitely ask the bride to split the cost.  She should understand if you can't afford it, and hopefully won't mind helping out.  

Answer 20

Who's charging you $200 to alter a dress? I paid $50 to alter my maid of honour dress - it shouldn't cost you more than that.

Answer 21

Alterations should not be more than $40 at the most for any dress.  Are you getting this from David's Bridal by chance?  The reason I ask is because their alteration prices are outrageously high!

Check with a local seamstress or tailor that is not associated with ANY bridal shop.  A local fabric store can also recommend at home based seamstresses that would be willing to assist you for a very reasonable price.  Just call around to a few shops and get some names.  

Your friend was rude for insisting that you get fitted so soon after your pregnancy, but a lot of brides tend to be rude.  It doesn't excuse the behavior though.  They get too many things on their plate and most just aren't capable of handling the pressure.  If she's a good friend, then I would probably bite my tongue a little and take care of the alterations, but I would gently remind her that she should have listened to you earlier about waiting a few more weeks.  

I'll be honest that I've never had a bridesmaid dress altered in my life, so they don't always have to be altered.  The standard sizes have always fit perfectly for me, but I realize that part of that is dependent on the style.  If the dress style was chosen well, then it shouldn't require much additional work.  Maybe a hem or something, but not much more than that should be needed.  

Best wishes!!!!!!!!!!!!