Bridesmaid in upcoming wedding, what do I do?

Question

I've never been to a wedding before. One of my good friends is getting married next June and asked me to a bridesmaid. Then she tells me, a day before I go to get fitted for the dress, that I need to bring money to put down half of the deposit for the dress. I asked how much that was, and she said $150. I don't know how weddings work when it comes to who is supposed to pay for what, but I don't have that much that I can be spending, especially since I'm a college student. What should I expect? What can I do to reduce costs? I want to have this conversation with her, but I'm scared she's going to go all Bridezilla on me...

Answer 1

Okay - first, your bride should have been more sensitive to your possible financial situation.  When I married I was able to keep the cost waaaayyyyy down for my still-in-college bridesmaids, and not compromise my taste.

The best thing is to just be honest with her.  Tell her it is you first wedding, and you really had no idea how much bm dresses cost, and you just can't afford it and you don't know what to do - can she help you solve this.    Tell her that although you don't want to, you are willing to step aside and let someone else take your place that can afford the costs if that is the best solution.  You should ask her what other costs you should expect.  The shower may or may not be part of your financial obligation to this.

Bummer huh?  With bridezillas running around expecting expensive dresses, showers, bachlorette parties, etc. etc. - it's a wonder ANYONE volunteers to take that on!!

If you put it that way, she is much less likely to go bridezilla on you.  And if she does, do you really want to be in the wedding anyway???

PS - being a bridesmaid is not akin to being a handmaiden to the bride.  If your bride "expects" you to "live up" to an idea of "duty" RUN.  But be honest upfront about what you can/can not do.

Answer 2

I am very eager to answer this question because my brother is getting married in Sept.  I am a bridesmaid and they are having a great deal of difficulty with their bridal party because the bridal party is not fulfilling their obligations.  If you can not financially afford this wedding please do me a favor and decline to be in the wedding.  Their wedding has become a nightmare and their bridal party is leaving them with some awful memories of their wedding.  You are not TOLD to be in a wedding, you are 'asked'.  Therefore, when you say yes you agree to ALL of the responsibilities that come with a bridesmaid...shower, bachelorette party, gift, and anything to pamper the bride.  You are there to relieve her stress and take care of the stuff that she doesn't have time for.  You are looking at an easy $500 to be a bridesmaid and if you can't afford that do the bride a favor and decline the offer.  I'm sure she would love to have you in her wedding, but if you make it MORE stressful for her it will be a better decision in the longrun.  

Answer 3

Wow !  $300.00 for the dress?  Weren't you there when she picked it out?  Didn't you have a say in what it looked like or the cost?

You will also have shoes, makeup , hair done, bridal shower, and bachelorette party.  This is going to cost you mega bucks.

If you don't have that kind of money it would be better to tell her before they alter your dress. Maybe she could replace you with someone else.

Don't be scared !   She should have known better since you are in school.  That was kind of insensitive on her part to expect you to be able to put that kind of money into her wedding. Especially since this is your first one.  

Tell her as soon as possible or be ready to take out a loan!    

  

Answer 4

Bridesmaids pay for their own dresses.  Call your mom and ask for a loan.

Answer 5

Ask parents to help out or tell her ASAP that you didn't know the financial "responsibility" that goes on

B-maids pay for:

- dresses (approx. $300)

- shoes

- in some cases for hair and make-up

- bridal shower (divide it amongst the other B-maids)

- Bachalorette party

Being a B-maid costs MONEY - I'd say about $800ish or so  

Answer 6

iee, yie, yie. good luck hun. just try to talk to the bride and consider your options. go broke buying a dress, ask for hel  with the money, or don't participate.

Answer 7

When you're in a wedding as a bridesmaid, you are typically expected to buy the dress and shoes yourself, as well as help pay for the wedding shower with the other bridesmaids. Maybe you can explain to her that you cannot afford it and maybe she can lend you money until you are able to repay her. If not, see if she will let you choose a different dress that is less expensive.

Answer 8

Tell her that you may not be able to take part in the wedding because of the price of the dress. She can either choose a less expensive dress, offer to help you pay, or demand that you either pay or leave. The bridezilla option is not easy to deal with, but you have to take that chance if you don't want to go broke buying the dress.

By the way, $150 deposit would be for a $300 dress, correct? That's pretty d**n expensive for a bridesmaid dress.

Answer 9

If you honestly can't afford it be up straight with her and tell her! Truth is a lot of people do not have 300 dollars to spend on a dress, that a bill right there! Don't wait until the last minute to say something,say it now! Sweetie you don't go broke for no one! Id she is a true friend she would understand!