Bridesmaids dresses- am I being rude?

Question

If I ask my bridesmaids to buy their own dresses, will they be upset? The dresses are 120 dollars and the shoes are about 30 dollars, but,I'm not forcing them to pay for anything else if they don't want to, I don't care how they wear their hair or nails or what jewelry they wear or anything, I'm just asking them to please wear pearls if they have them, and to have matching shoes and dresses... Also, I picked out these dresses so that they would be able to keep the dresses and they are not ugly dresses, they are just knee length satin halter dresses, they could wear them to something else some day if they wanted to, they flatter almost any figure and they are a normal color, not some off the wall pastel or anything.. and I plan on getting them a small gift as a token of my appreciation, but am I being too rude? I just can't afford so many things on my tight budget. Also, do the groomsmen pay for their tuxes or is that rude? I would get them a small gift as well...

I only have 2 bridesmaids, my sister and my soon to be sister in law, and my fiance's 2 groomsmen are his best friends as neither of us has any brothers..

Answer 1

not rude at all!. its very common.

my sister is getting married next week, and my dress costed me $160, plus $110 for alterations (had to take the darn hting to several places since one alteations plce screwed it up),  

Answer 2

No, you are not being rude at all. I have been in 4 weddings and have always paid for my own dress, shoes, and accessories. You aren't expected to pay for anything. Just a thank you gift for being in your wedding will suffice.

Answer 3

No you are not being rude at all!

2 Bridesmaid its Ok! That is pretty Cheap price for a Dress and Shoes now of days!

Answer 4

No... It is common knowledge that when you are in a wedding you pay for your own dress/tux.  If money for your friends is a problem and thats why you are questioning it, just make sure you tell them about the costs in advance so they can make payments, and don't have to come up with 150 bucks out of the blue.

Answer 5

It's customary to have the bridesmaids and groomsmen buy their own dress and tux. It's your wedding anything you say goes. Just don't make your wedding to stressful.  

Answer 6

nope...its standard for the wedding party to pay for their own attire.  Its pretty much expected when you agree to be in a wedding.  I paid for most of my MOH's things because I only had a MOH who was in college and couldnt afford it (and it was more important to me she be in the wedding then pay for it) but otherwise, they generally pay for themselves.  it seems the things you picked are pretty well priced and shouldnt really be a problem.  good for you for being concerned about someone other then yourself though.  its seems so many brides these days are all about themselves.  congrats and good luck

Answer 7

It's pretty common for a bridesmaid to pay for her own attire, where I live. I am actually going to be the MOH in a wedding, and the bride wants to pay for the dress...I am going to tell her to save her money, and use the "dress funds" to come visit me when I graduate high school (she's in MN and I'm in CA), since we met there, and have been best buds since.

In this wedding, there's only two of us bridesmaids...it actually changed from two to one (me) and back to two with a different person, so two is a perfectly fine amount. There are some people that do without completely. Also, being that we're all scattered across different states, we will most likely not have a bachlorette party anyway (we're all students of some form), except maybe do a pajama party for us girls and watch 27 Dresses. The pizza idea is great too! Anything you do (or don't do) is fine, as long as it's not extreme. Good luck and have fun on your big day!

Answer 8

Not rude at all. My sister and brother in law have been in a few wedding and they have always bought their own outfits and shoes.

Answer 9

Nope, these days, the bridal party pay for their own attire. This means dresses and shoes. And for the boys, they also pay for their own gear. We have chosen to have their suits hired rather than purchased as this is a much cheaper option. I think you are being more than reasonable.

Answer 10

Hi.  Those prices are very reasonable!  Where I live, the bridesmaids always pay for their dresses, shoes, hair, etc. and the groomsmen always pay for their own tux rental.

You are very nice in trying to keep it on the lower end and something that can perhaps be worn again.  Very nice.

One note.  Since you talked about a rehearsal dinner.  If you really cannot afford anything (I KNOW how things are in this economy...believe me!), then have this earlier in the day (like 3 p.m.) so that your bridal party does not expect dinner.

But then....when and where will you give them their gifts?  If you can possibly afford it....go out for pizza and soda!  It shouldn't be too much for 6 people to go out for pizza.  OR.....have a BBQ (if possible) at your place.  Even if you have a small apartment, you can fit in 6 people and possibly both sets of parents.  You can do something very, very low-key, like I said...pizza...a bbq....or even make up a couple pans of lasagna or a big pot of spaghetti!

Good luck to you.

Answer 11

Brides maids pay for their own dresses and shoes and anything else except for the flowers they will carry down the aisle.   The grooms men pay for their own tuxedo rental/purchase and shoes and haircuts and anything else. It is not rude to ask them to do this, it is traditionally part of the responsibilities of being a member of the wedding party.

Answer 12

Actually, the responsibility for dresses falls onto the bridal party's lap. You decide who you think you want to be there for you on your big day, and then you call her or him up with a list in hand of what their responsibilities are (lists are available on wedding sites, like theknot.com on what is normally or traditionally expected of wedding attendants), and you ask them if they would be willing and able to take this on. If they agree, then go for it. Generally, etiquette would dictate that if there was some extraordinary hardship with one of your attendants, or the dresses were one of a kind and frightfully expensive, that it is up to the couple to provide those. Otherwise, it's up to them to find the size of particular dress that fits and or alter it, and pay for it. So no it's not being rude.

Keep in mind that they will be in charge of planning and hosting (and paying for) various parties, showers, bachelorettes, stags etc.

Answer 13

Bridesmaids pay for their own items, and that is not an unreasonable price for dress and shoes. The guys also pay for their own stuff too. So don't feel bad, don't stress, and enjoy your wedding ! and best of luck and happiness to you !