Bridesmaids?

Question

So I was wondering if someone could help me out here....when you have bridesmaids in your wedding, is the bride supposed to pay for their dresses? I had always thought that IF the bride could afford to do it, then she should, but it wasn't expected of her. My two bridesmaids are being kinda difficult at the moment and they're telling me that the only reason I need to go with them to get their dresses is if I'm paying for them. Well, I'm not, but I still need to be there to pick them out, right?

Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

No, bridesmaids are expected to pay for their own outfits and travel costs - if the bride chips in, it's a bonus, not an obligation. The bride still gets the final say on the outfits, after strongly considering the input of her bridesmaids, of course. If your bridesmaids expect anything different, they have been very misinformed.

So, simply, yes you get to pick them, no you don't have to pay for them.

Answer 2

Honey, YOU are the bride. That ring on your finger makes you queen. You have to pick out the dresses. You could always look at the store's catalog, pick the ones you want, and have your bridesmaids surprised when you get there. If the bride can afford it, then paying for the dresses would be AWESOME, but usually its the bridesmaids who pay, that's why they're ASKED and not TOLD they're in the wedding, so they can opt out if they choose. Put your foot down, seriously. Don't get sucked into paying for any more than you have to.

Answer 3

You have the philosophy right about paying for the dresses.

If you were paying I'd say choose it al 100%.  But under the circumstances why be a control freak about it?  You have so much else to do.  Pick a general style and color then tell the girls to pick what they want under the guidelines.  For instance my ladies were told to pick brown dresses that were below the knee.  I've seen pictures of "mismatched" dresses and quite frankly I think they look much better than when a bride picks out a uniform.  Make it clear that if the dresses are truly horrible you have the right to make them change...and by horrible I mean a too-tight sequined 80's dress.  Not that they picked out satin or a halter top when you were picturing strapless chiffon.  If you want them to pick the same dress then let them know they need to agree at the store.

I've saved so much hassle, my girls have saved money, and they will all be lots more comfortable and ready/willing to help me than if I had forced them into some crazy dress out of their price ranges all the while telling myself it was "Ok because they can wear it again"....like anybody does.

The same goes for shoes, hair, and makeup.  You picked these girls because of their personalities not because you wanted a living prop for pictures. (at least I hope so).  Let them express themselves a little.  Trust them.

Answer 4

You should pick the dresses out. They should pay for them. Unless your gift to them is to pay for the dress. They can't just go to the store and pick something. That would be so...weird. Anyway, the other thing you can do is pick the dresses in advance and then tell them where to go get them.

You can pick out a couple of different possibilities of dresses (same color, different straps and slightly different styles) so each can pick out one that compliments her body type better. Otherwise, if you want them both in the exact same dress, just tell them what it is and where to get it.

Answer 5

I have been told that the bride can offer to pay for some but doesn't have to. I think, at times, that bridesmaids feel obligated to be in the wedding even when they can't afford it. If they are picking out their own dresses then they need to for sure pay. If you are picking it out and its over $150.00 then you can always offer to pay $50.00 of it. You don't have to though.

Answer 6

You pick them out and they pay for them. That's the way it's done.

Answer 7

I have been a bridesmaid at least three times and I paid for the dress that the bride told me to wear. I picked and bought my own shoes too.

I also work at a bridal store and all the brides come with there bridesmaids and choos the dress that best fits there body type but the bride always has final say. Of the bridesmaids know whats good for them they should say " whatever you like".

Bridesmaids are complicated, and many times people dont speakk after the event. YOu need to ask them if they really do want to be a part of it and thst you have an idea of what you want your pictures and day like and show them the dresses you like. Give them options but you have the last say.

Good Luck.

Answer 8

Now for what i have been told and all the wedding that i have been in. which are a lot the brides have paid for my bridesmaid dress and they paid for everything else that was needed at the wedding. If you cannot afford too i would look at second hand shops for two dresses that are similar or the same and then have them taken in or out , which ever way and i believe that it could say you money especially if you are on a tight budget (like me )

Answer 9

I paid for my BM dresses only because I knew they couldn't afford them and I picked an affordable dress that they could wear again and this was my gift to them.  As far as going with them.. if you have an idea of what you want them to wear tell them that you want to pick out the perfect dress .. be sensitive to their financials though when choosing your dresses.

Answer 10

I have been in three weddings.  For each one, I have paid for my dress and shoes.  That's what is normally expected.  

If you are wealthy and are asking your bridesmaids to buy an expensive gown they will most likely only wear once, then yes, offer to pay for their dresses.  

If you're not wealthy and neither are they, but comfortable, maybe you could give them all a $20-$40 gift card to the store where you are getting the dresses.

I was married 6/13/08.  I only had my sister as my MOH and a good friend as a bridesmaid.  We went to David's Bridal and I told them the color was apple red.  I then told them to buy whatever dress they felt comfortable in.  They were very happy to chose their own style of dress and they could also keep a tab on the price tag.

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Good luck!

Answer 11

U get to choose which one they wear but you dont have to pay for it

Answer 12

It depends on your location. Here in the UK, it's normal for the bride to pay for the bridesmaids dresses as we don't really think it's fair to ask someone to be part of your day and then have to pay for it (especially if it's a dress they will never wear again). However, from looking around on Y!answers, it seems the convention in the US is for the bridesmaids to pay for their own dresses.

In your case, you should talk to your bridesmaids, they're meant to be your friends after all. Just explain to them that although you don't want to dictate the exact dresses, you just want a general style for your wedding so you want to make sure they are on the same track as you.

Good luck.

Answer 13

Every wedding I have ever been in I have paid for my dress and shoes and my bridesmaid es paid for their dresses and shoes and they went with me to pick the dress out...b/c I wanted something that we could all agree on, BUT it's your wedding and you can have them wear whatever  you want!!

Answer 14

Your bridesmaids are being rude and inconsiderate. Unless the bride specifies it's their choice, the bride chooses what the attendants wear, even if she's no paying for the dresses in question. In the US, it is common for the bridesmaids to pay for their own gowns, and those who accept the honor, know that the expense falls on them unless other arrangements have been made. I would kidnly remind them that you and your fiance' make the wedding decisions, so you will be coming with them to choose flattering, and budget-conscious gowns that suit the theme you and your FH have in mind.

Answer 15

You pick them out and they pay for them.  Now if you tell them you want a certain color and you trust their style you can let them go get their own.

Answer 16

No the braids maids pay for their on shoes and dresses and h**l yea you need to go with them to pick them out after all it's still your wedding  :)