Broke up with fiance, do I have to return gifts?

Question

I recently broke up with my fiance. I returned the engagement ring to him. Now he says he wants everything back he ever gave me. All of these items were gifts. He wants things back like a teddy bear, the chair he bought for my deck, a necklace, coffee pot, toaster, a movie, a cookie jar, stuff like that. Because these items are gifts, legally do I have to return them? I thought when someone gives you a gift, it's yours to keep forever. I gave him things too but have not asked for any of it back. Does he really have a legal right to demand these things back? It's just stuff, nothing expensive. I really think he's asking for it just to get even with me. Can someone tell me? Thanks.

Answer 1

If you broke off the engagement, you owe him the ring back.  That's been legally precedented repeatedly.

As for the other gifts given over the course of your relationship, you have no legal obligation to return them.  On the other hand, I can't imagine why you would want to keep them.  Box 'em up and give them back if he wants them.  If you broke up with him, I can't imagine why you'd want to keep the stuff any way.

Answer 2

Tell him you burned all his stuff as part of an emotional cleansing ceremony. Except for the patio chair - that's for your new man to relax in while you make him a cup of coffee in that coffee pot.

Answer 3

In the case of the ring, there is a legal precedent; if he gave it to you on an "event" (birthday, holiday etc) it is a gift and therefore yours to keep.  Otherwise, you do need to return it. There is no "legality" here for the small stuff though; how would he prove any of it was bought by him for you unless he saved the receipts?  It's your word against his.

Answer 4

Legally, no. but if you just want to be a nice person and get over him, give it back. he seems to spend a lot of money on you and he feels terrible that you dumped him. just give him what he wants and move on.

Answer 5

No, he is just harassing you.  You did the right thing giving the ring back, but the rest of the stuff is yours to keep.

Answer 6

No, it is yours.  Sorry to hear about your relationship...

Answer 7

He is just hurt. Legally, you dont have to return them. It is a good thing you broke up with him....look at how immature he is!!!!!! How sad. I would give them back just so he would leave me alone.

Answer 8

Nope you don't have to give the stuff back.. just the ring (if you broke it off, if he broke it off you keep it!) is needed.

Answer 9

This question has been tossed around in courts, when one person feels he has legal rights to demand gifts be returned. A friend went to court to sue his fiance' to give the wedding ring back, because it was an heirloom from his great grandmother. The court awarded her the ring.  Yet gifts she received after they became engage were to be given back.

Good luck.

Answer 10

The truth is you owe him NOTHING!  And unless he sues you for the ring - you didn't even have to give that back.  They are gifts!!

Answer 11

All you have to give him is the ring.

Everything else is yours. He cannot ask you for those things back. He is just trying to upset you. You gave him the ring, tell him to leave you alone

Answer 12

I don't think it's a matter of legality, I doubt very much if a cop or a judge would waste their time trying to determine who a teddy bear belongs too, he is just being a jacka** - probably because he is hurt. It's totally up to you if you want to give them back. I would personally put it all in a box and donate it to a women's shelter or something, that way you don't have the items, but he doesn't get the satisfaction of taking them away from you.

Answer 13

Those were gifts- from him to you and for you to keep.

I would check with an attorney just to be sure.I agree with you, it seems that he is upset and is looking to get back at you by asking for the gifts to be returned to him.

It would be up to you whether or not to return them. You may want to give the stuff back just to 'get him out of your life.'

Sorry for the trouble you are going through.

Answer 14

no way jose according to judge judy gifts are gifts if you didn't ask for them or agree to pay for them they're yours to keep honey

Answer 15

The man is hurting and not thinking to straight.  The stuff he wants do you really need them?  If not give them back cause in 6 months he will feel worse knowing he asked for them.

Answer 16

He's acting like a fool.  The things he gave you were gifts and he has not right to them.  If you got engaged on your birthday or Christmas you could claim the ring was a gift and keep that too but since you already gave it back it doesn't matter....just tell him you gave the stuff to the Volunteers of America and to bugger off.

Answer 17

If you broke up with him, why would you WANT to keep the things he gave you? Give them back and clean the slate.

Answer 18

A gift is a gift. You can keep it, donate it, whatever, and he has no say in it.

Returning the ring was not required, but I think that was a good, clear gesture.

Edited to add: After my father died, my grandmother (his mom) actually went to a lawyer to see if grandma could force mom to give back *everything* she and grandpa had given my parents during the marriage. The lawyer made it very clear that a gift was a gift was a gift. (Nice grandma, huh?!)

Answer 19

You are not legally bound whatsoever to return gifts. As a matter of fact, it is usually just etiquette that you give the ring back out of the goodness of your own heart but that is also considered a gift and you didn't have to return it to him. He is just angry and will use any type of communication necessary to keep an "open line" with you. Don't play into that.

If he wants his gifts returned, either give it to him or tell him to take you to small claims court AND you can tell tell him you will counter sue him for court costs, work time costs (amount of money you will have lost due to court). He won't go any further and if he does, it only adds to your reasons of calling off the engagement in the first place.

Don't let him get the best of you. If he gets to be troublesome by calling you at work or making scenes or demeaning/degrading/slandering you in public, get witnesses, threaten him with a restraining order and if that doesn't work, get a restraining order.

I am only saying this so that you have some guidelines of your own actions against him.

Best of luck honey ;)

Answer 20

You already gave him back his ring

which was the right thing to do-

Gifts that were given during the course

of your relationship are just that- GIFTS.

You are under NO obligation to return them

to him at all.

He is either being petty and vindictive,

or just plain cheap.

Answer 21

Are you stupid?  You gave the ring back!  WHY??  Everything he gave you is a gift and if you don't want to give it back then you don't have too!!  There's nothing he can do about it not even legally!!!  don't know why you even gave the ring back, because you didn't have to, even if you didn't want it I'm sure its worth something $$$!