Broken heart and HPV. Has or is anyone in a similar situation? I need help?

Question

I know I just posted this, but I need more answers.

My boyfriend and I went out for 9 months before he broke up with me. He told me that he still loved me and was still attracted to me but that he didn't want to be in a relationship. This was the first time either of us said that we loved each other.

About 2 months prior things started to go sour in our relationship. He stopped wanting to hang out with me and would make excuses as to why he shouldn't. I knew a break up was coming but I kept on telling myself it was a phase he was going through. The morning he broke up with me I also lost the job I had over the summer because I was so upset and couldn't keep my composure (my boss was a b*tch). I have spent so much money on this relationship since he has none and I have shared everything with him. He never shares what he gets with me. He recently came into some money and spent it all on himself. I don't understand why he didn't try to pay me back some of the money I spent on him. I feel like he took advantage of me.

On special days he would never do anything nice for me. On my birthday he didn't even want to spend time with me or give me a gift. When I asked him to spend time with me that day he was short with me and uncaring. When I got upset he told me that was the wrong reaction to have. I had told him in advance that a card or note would be fine since I knew he couldn't afford much.

After the break up I told him that if we were going to be friends that it would be up to him whether or not the friendship would work out. We're still hanging out/dating a little bit and are still having s*x with each other. Because of this we came to an agreement that we can still "date" each other but that the relationship is open. I can tell that he has tried a little to make a friendship work and I appreciate it, but I want him to do more. I don't know if I love him any more, but my chest still hurts when I think about him. I know I can do so much better than him, but I feel like I am stuck.

A few months ago we found out that I have HPV, and automatically so does he. It is one of the strands that can give you cancer and they have found some cancer cells in my cervix. I don't feel like I can have a relationship with someone else until I get better. Luckily I am at a low risk for cancer, but I know that that can change at any moment. It is hard for me to understand why he didn't try harder to make the relationship work since we are going through this. Neither of us can have sexual contact with people other than each other.

I feel like I can't truly get closure from him until I hear him apologize for all that he has put me through. I haven't even mentioned everything that has happened because it would take too long. I also want him to admit to me that he is selfish, self-centered, and afraid of commitment but he has too much pride to be able to do that. I don't know what I should do. I want so badly to be in a true relationship with him again, but I know it would be a bad idea. Given the circumstances, what can I do? I don't know when or if I am going to get rid of the HPV. It generally takes about 2 years to clear up and I don't know how long he or I have had it for. I don't want to be alone for such a long period of time. Please help me. What can I do to make him want a relationship with me again?

Answer 1

hpv on the cervix is unbelievably common and very treatable, especially when caught early like for you.  you can visit the site hpvsupport.com for information and support.

it really only gets scary if you have it a long time without treatment, and it just gets worse and worse.  keep getting your paps every year!

Answer 2

For one sweetheart, you gotta understand. How can you love someone who doesn't love you back? No one deserves that, no matter if you have 1 arm, cancer, no hair, is blind, whatever the case might be. There is somebody out there for someone, and you shouldn't settle for less because you feel you cannot find someone else. If you close the chapter in this relationship, it may can open doors for someone else to come into your life who would treat you 20 X more better!!

BTW, don't feel obligated to date/relationship wise be with him because he has HPV. A lot of people are unaware that they have it, and unless you just want to date someone with HPV. DON'T settle your life short. Don't just assume because he has HPV and he gave it to you, that you should just stay together for the better. Now, if the relationship was going to work out for the better, then I could of suggested of staying with him. BUT he sounds like a jerk in my opinion. A REAL man would re-pay you back if it wasn't the money, it would be love and care. If he couldn't offer you that easy, free, no dime out of the pocket gift of love and care, then he isn't a REAL MAN to begin with.

You need to focus on you and help yourself to get better with your health. You need to focus on YOU! because do you honestly think he cares? A person who cares wouldn't waste your time by keeping the relationship "open" but uses you for s*x. Keeping the relationship opens means you are allowing him to treat you any kind of way, bring any STD's from other people who he wants to sleep with because he is not committed to you, and still uses you at the same time. Any man would love that, but honestly, that isn't a MAN TO BEGIN WITH!

You need to get out of this relationship, infact, excuse my confidence, but this ISN'T a relationship. It's a WASTE OF BULLSHYT TIME!

Answer 3

i feel your pain mama i was 13 i loved this boy he wasy my first kiss love and everything else. when i was 16 i got pregnant. i lost the baby. we were together until i was 17.l i had never even kissed another boy since him after we broke up i stayed single until i was 18 i never had s*x with anyone else. when i was pregnant i got a pap swear. i had hpv type 14 16 and one other type. later after we broke up i went back for another pap smear. i had beginning stages of cervical cancer. i had to get this thing called a leep precedure done. anyway long story short dont be upset about him f**k em chic your better than him... God bless

Answer 4

if he didn't want to be in relationship with u, ther are nothng u can do about. Seem like u didn't love u. He's not a man. u don't need to be with him to be happy. u need to take care of your health first, do be stess or depress bc it cause can your body immune can't fight against the disease, take care!