Brother's girlfriend living at my parents house

Question

My brother is 18 and has been with his gf for about a year. She started staying over on weekends and now she basically lives at out house. It's annoying because it bothers my parents but because my mom doesn't want any arguments going on in the house she practically gets guilted into letting her stay. What's annoying is it's like his gf isn't really respectful. She's nice, but its as if she is oblivious to the fact that my parents DO NOT like the idea of her being here 24/7. When i bring it up my mom gets mad and says "what am i supposed to do?!" i'm tired of her not being able to live peacefully in her own home. what can i do.

Answer 1

So the question is what can you do for the sake of your mother? Well not much I'm afraid. That's her son. She wants him to be happy and wants to avoid conflict. You could say your piece to him but be warned he'll probably just tell you to p**s off and mind your business (and I guess I would too if I were his age and in his shoes) but I can empathize. So many parents let their kids walk all over them.

You mentioned your mother but what about your father? Can't he have some kind of father-to-son chat with him? They can deliver ultimatums maybe and start making things harder for them to live there e.g. board or rent money, cleaning rosters etc. If they arent completed she can go home that night. Take turns cooking. Things like that perhaps?

Answer 2

It sounds like your parents are enabling your brother and his gf.  There is really nothing you can do about it.  Your parents are the ones who need to stand up and say something.  My son's gf asked if she could spend the night because her and her family were fighting.  I said she may spend ONE night with the permission of her family, and I sent my son to his Grandmother's to spend the night.  The gf then asked for more time, but I explained that she needed to work things out with her family and that she couldn't stay because she was dating my son.  If your Mom does want it to stop she needs to have a family meeting explaining the rules.  Too bad if he gets upset...he's old enough to move out and pay rent for him and his gf instead of making your parents.  Plus....Mom is not his and his gf's maid!!!  Good luck to you and your family!

Answer 3

Are you so bothered over your brother's lack of respect for your parents, or is it more the unequal treatment you & your brother get from your parents?

If your brother gets his girlfriend knocked up, then LET HIM.

If your mom & dad are letting an interloper come into their house, & walk all over them then that's their problem, NOT YOURS!

There's only one healthy way for you to deal with these issues & goings-on in your household that don't concern you.

Detach.