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Brother died, desperately need help with talking?

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Okay so a year ago my brother died. He was the first born in our family and he died aged 26. Im 15. Tonight my dad was particularly upset and all i wanted to do was go and comfort him and talk about it with him but i found that i couldnt. If it was my mum i would of done. My dads lovely and i love him to bits but for some reason i feel embarrased talking to him about stuff like that as we usually have a kind of jokey relationship. Can anyone help me, any advice on gaining the confidence to talk to him, and what to say. It really would mean the world to me to be able to talk things through with him.xxxx

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I have the same sort of relationship with my father and I've always found very difficult to "really" talk to him, but there are moments where you both need to communicate, truly, with an open heart. Go and talk to him, even if you feel it sounds gauche, believe me it won't and once the door is open, it's a real relief. (For both of you)
Report (0) (0) | earlier
do the whole sit down next to him, put the hand on the shoulder, and give a sad smile. then he might hug you.

your family is in my prayers, sorry about your brother.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
Just decide to do it!!! and don't back down- you need it and believe it or not so does he and he probably feels the same way you do. I don't know how old you are, but ask him to take a walk with you, or y'all can go to the nearest park and have a seat at a picnic table and just come out with it.

I had to do this too with my dad when my brother died about 10 years ago, it is really not as hard as you think it might be.

good luck to you hun.
Report (0) (0) | earlier
I also lost my identical twin brother 18 months a go suddenly at only 22. Life as been very bad since, Its too upsetting to discuss my brothers death with my parents. Never be afraid to discuss anything with your dad. Just sit down together and remember the good times.
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My deepest sympathy for the lost of your brother ;; You are mourning the lost of a love one very differently and its normal ; for you its your brother ; but for your father ; its his son ; and as a mother myself who lost a son [ he was a baby ] I can tell you its biggest ordeal you can go through ; so my advice ; let your father alone when he is with his dead son : I mean right now he is thinking about a thousand thing about him when he was alive ; for yourself get some help from a pastor or a counsellor ; Yes you are going through a tough period ; but with time it will get better
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"It really would mean the world to me to be able to talk things through with him"

and it will be the same for him. Just go to him and say how much you miss your brother.

Report (0) (0) | earlier
Im sure he is really upset even still.... just know that if it was you upset your dad would comfort you, so I think you should go talk to him, tell him your feelings, ask him his...
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I would start by just giving him a hug. He needs to know you love him. Then, just ask him if he wants to talk about anything. If he says no then just spend some quality time with him and he'll open up
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Sometimes actions speak so much louder than words.  He may not need to hear you say anything but to just sit next to him and hug him.

My heart goes out to you at having to suffer such a loss.  If you really feel the need to say something to him, just say it.  As you realise, life is precious and too short to hang on the lines of dithering.


Report (0) (0) |   earlier
first things first, i am so sorry for your loss and my heart goes out to you and your family,

You do really need to talk to your dad, he will be feeling the same, and it really is no good to keep things like this bottled up inside.

Take a deep breath and just say what is on your mind, you dad will be relieved, and will find it easier to talk to you.

Failing that just go up and hug him! sometimes we don't need words.

again i am truly sorry, stay strong sweetie. my thoughts are with you.
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MAYBE WRITE A LETTER AND EXPLAIN IN THE LETTER WHY YOU ARE WRITING INSTEAD OF FACE TO FACE WITH HIM-- AND PUT A LITTLE HUMOR IN THERE SO HE FEELs COMFORTABLE TOO
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you will find the right time to sit down with your dad and talk about your brother it all takes time.meanwhile dont bottle it up speak to a good friend or family member.
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Im sorry to hear about your brother i really am, but im sure your dad would be so so happy if you went over and gave him a hug and began to talk to him. Its not often my dad gets upset, but when he does, it really helps and i feel the way you do about it but i do it for him. Give it a go you dont have to say anything if you dont want to at first. Go over ad sit by him, hug him and let him talk to you. Then you both can talk about it. Just push yourself to do it :) for your dad and for your brother x Good Luck to you and your family :) x
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i would just like to say am so sorry to hear about your loss, You feel this way as up to now your relationship with yor dad has always been abit of a giggle a joke but know you are faced with one of the hardest thing you have ever faced and that in it self will affect you and your mum and dad big style i have always learnt talking about the way i feel or writing it down helps me if i need to say something to some one i write it down first in a letter and as am writing it becomes so much easier to tell the person if i was you i wouldn sit down with a pen and piece of paper and express yourself that way and in time you ill be able to talk to your dad about anything.
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start with just go giving him a hug and see where it goes.
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i suggest you go see a councillor.they are professionally trained people who will you be able to help you express yourself.And help you how to talk to others about your feelings....
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sounds as if you all need to pull together on this one, I know you will find the strength to talk to your dad.  Maybe he feels the same and wants to open up to you too> but cant find how to begin.

All I would say is dont bottle up your feelings, grieving is part of the healing process and your brother would want you to carry on with life.  He will always be a part of it.

Thinking of you and your family at this time.

BE STRONG. xxxxxxxx
Report (0) (0) |   earlier
First of all, I'm sorry for your loss. =( Be strong!

Well, if your relationship with your dad is very jokey you still have to be able to become serious with him. That is a really strong topic and you can just go and talk to him, remember, parents always need comfort, they will always feel better if their child help them through a tough time. Just always think that your dad is serious about the sadness, go up and make him feel better! And good luck with it. I'm sorry. =(
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