Brother feels left out of wedding....PLEASE READ!?

Question

My brother in law is more like a brother to me than my 2 actual brothers. He has been in my life since I was 8 and I would love for him to be in my wedding but I cannot think of a way to involve him. My husband to be already has his 2 groomsmen picked out so that isn't an option. Any suggestions would be greatly appriciated! :-)

Answer 1

A reading at the ceremony, or MC of the Reception

Answer 2

Let him make a toast :D

Answer 3

Why not ask him to do a scripture reading during the ceremony?

Answer 4

Dare to be nontraditional: there is NOTHING wrong with you asking him to be your groomsmen. I have attended several weddings in the past few years in which both the bride and groom have had groomsmen, so to ensure that no-one is left out. I think it's a marvellous idea: clearly, your brother-in-law means everything to you and you desperately want him to be involved in your special day. Might I suggest you sit down with your fiancee and discuss this idea?

If he objects, perhaps you'd like to put your brother-in-law in charge of the guest book, or allow him to be in charge of the music at your reception (that is, under the assumption you are not having a live band playing and require someone to do this job on your behalf). Or, how about allowing him to conduct your reception - basically, he can oversee your reception, introduce you and your new husband, introduce anyone who is giving speeches at the event (even suggest he present a speech, if both you and your fiancee or agreeable), announce the father/daughter dance etc.

Best wishes and I really hope everything works out - I know full well how stressful wedding preparation can be!

Answer 5

Have him do a reading or poem or song (if he has a good voice) in the ceremony.  Also, he could announce you coming in at the reception.  There are many odd jobs that he could be involved in.

Answer 6

How about driving you to the church, giving a reading at the ceremony, acting as master of ceremonies or saying grace at the start of the meal?  Make sure you talk to him and explain the situation - he might even suggest something! Good Luck..

Answer 7

all the above answers gave great ideas!

And my 2 cents: even if you are not comfortable adding an usher or groomsman, and you feel there's nothing he can really do during the ceremony, make a toast and include him in it. A special thank you for being there for you all these years. I believe that would be very appreciated and might even bring a tear to his eyes, to be "honored" in such a way!

Answer 8

I am a male and my sister wants me to be her man (maid) of honor... so why not ask him to be a brides man? today it seems to be done alot lately,,,, just dont have him wear a dress--LOL

Answer 9

If he is that close to you, add another groomsmen. Its ok to have uneven numbers. But if you are not comfortable with that...have him do a reading. Or just tell him how you feel about him. Most guys don't really care to be involved in weddings anyway. He might just like knowing he is that important to you.

Answer 10

Why not add another groomsman??  Even if you only have two bridesmaids, nowadays the attendant numbers don't have to be the same.  Or you could ask him to be an usher, do a special reading, etc.

Answer 11

Maybe have him do some sort of reading during the ceremony...

does your brother in law have any special talents, like playing an instrument or singing? If so, he could play or sing something during the ceremony.

Another option could be to have him help his son (the ring bearer) down the aisle and to his seat. Sort of like an escort.

Another fun thing for him to do would be at the reception, have him be the one that introduces you and your new hubby to the guests... it will make him feel special.

Answer 12

Usher.

Answer 13

Maybe he can read a poem before the ceramony.

Answer 14

Can he do a reading and dedicate it to the two of you?

Can he sing or play an instument well?  Maybe do a processional song?

Does he have any talens that can ber used somehwere during the day?  Cooking, baking, dj, photography?

Answer 15

Have him read something at the church.

I mean, if he really meant that much, you wouldn't be asking this question.  I would of suggested to have him as a groomsman.

Answer 16

Groomsman - it IS an option.  You don't need to have an equal number of groomsmen and bridesmaids.  Symmetry is FAR less important than honoring your special friends and family.  

Answer 17

There are a million things you can have him do... be an usher, help with the guest book, carry the rings... come on think outside of the box.