Bruises on 2 yo daughter

Question

My daughters mother and I share custody and we have a visitation schedule. The weekend I got her she had black and blue bruises on her left thigh and on the left side of her face. She has a cut that went from her bottom lip to her cheek. Is this something I should report or follow up on? At what point should I start reporting these things. She is 2 years old and it's hard to tell if she's getting hit or if you is just hurting herself when she falls. She's had bruises before but like I mentioned before she is still a baby running around. Anyone been in this situation before?

Answer 1

Who is your Ex hooking up with?   How does your daughter act when it is time to go back to Mom? Yes, little kids are accident prone, but these injuries sound extreme. Since you say she has had  these types of injuries before, I would take her without delay to a pediatrician so they can rule out abuse.  You should be able to do this without telling your ex.  If your Ex gets mad, so what?  This is to protect your child's' welfare!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

Answer 2

First thing, don't accuse mom of anything, just ask what happened and how, in a concerned way, not an accusing manner.

Second, whatever she says, take pictures of the cuts and bruises.

Don't ask leading questions to a 2yr old, they will tell or convey to you what they think you want to hear.

Third, look for changes in the personality, more reserved, withdrawn, casting the eyes down.  

Fourth, if you're still concerned, show the photos and any new bruises to a friend who may be a police detective.  See if them think there may be pattern bruising.

If they are suspicious, talk to her pediatrician to see if the doctor noticed this & what do they think.

If every body is of the same mind, if it looks like a duck-talks like a duck, then it's a duck.  Do  what you gotta do, legally.  

Answer 3

Take her to a doctor right now.  You have a duty to your daughter to protect her from harm. The doc can tell how the bruises are formed. This will protect your daughter if someone is harming her and protect you too. Your ex might accuse you of causing them.  

Answer 4

If she has a nice vocabulary, then ask her what happened in a cheerful way.  Don't ask "did mommy hit you?", because there are lots of children who would just say yes or misunderstand you and say yes and that just gets things messed up.  If she says something about mom then you know it happened, but that's the problem with a lot of these situations, it's easy to manipulate kids to not say anything or for them to say something that blows things out of proportion.

Make sure to take pictures of the bruises, document the date and call the mother to ask for her story and then write it down.  If the mother gives a story different from what the child says, don't tell her so.  Just be polite.  If you have a lawyer you used to get custody I would call them up and just tell them about the incident, that you are worried it might be the mother, and that you have pics and documented the date.  They can help you and should be able to help with what comes next.  As hard as it is, the only thing you might be able to do is to wait and see if it happens again.  

This is, of course, assuming the worst.  You should probably look back and see, is it really logical that the mother would do something like that?  A lot of times children get dragged into battles like this that turn out to be just a continuation of i don't like that woman/man and i don't want to have anything to do with them.  Remember that your daughters are her daughters too, and if you don't have any other reason to suspect that something bad is going on, that you should realize that she loves them just as much as you do.

Hope that helps!

Answer 5

you have to ask her whats going on. toddlers can be extremely stubborn and if they were told not to tell someone something, they probably wont, but you have to keep reassuring her and tell her that whatever is going on, it can stop but she has to tell you everything and how she got the bruises. those sound like pretty serious bruises and i don't think they were from tripping or falling down. i hope everything works out for the best =)

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Answer 6

Report it now !!!!! It is better to be safe than sorry!

Answer 7

if you ask your daughter, don't put words into her mouth cos she will only say what she thinks you want to hear, phrase it open ended like "what happened to your face?" rather than "who did that?" or "did someone do that to you?"

Any doubt whatsoever it is worth reporting but also be aware of trouble it could cause if you are wrong. talk to the mom if at all poss. x

Answer 8

that's not an injury that would occur from a fall, trust me i'm a klutz and even if it was remotely possible she would be bruised that bad, and have a cut only on her face if she fell on glass, report it.

Answer 9

You should make your daughter feel safe, and try to get her to tell you what happened. If you seriously suspect foul play at the mother's home, and she won't tell you (or can't tell you) you should take her to a counselor or child psychologist to try and figure out what happened; she could be suffering trauma at her mother's house, and its your responsibility to help her. You can probably get free services through your local government. Your daughter may not remember the experience very clearly because children have a tendency to "shut down" when they experience trauma ( They sometimes go into a dreamlike state because they're to young or small to "fight or flight") , so you must go to a children's psychologist because they know the telltale signs of trauma. If she is the victim of domestic violence you must report it, and you should study the methods to help children (in her specific age demographic) how to recover from trauma. If she has experienced trauma there are things you can do to help her recover more quickly and more completely so she can move past it.

Answer 10

you are right when you say she is still young and she does run around and could have hurt herself in some sort of a fall, but these do seem like some pretty bad injusries for a fall...if you would have any reason of thinking her mother, or friends of her mother would hurt her then i would definately follow up on it!! i would also ask your EX how she got the bruises and see if she can explain it w/o being defensive!!  

Answer 11

Ask her mother if you are not on speaking terms try to ask your daughter is she remembers falling or being hit by mommy.  

Answer 12

Have you talked to the mom?  What did she say?  By all means have it checked if your uncertain.