Bullied with love? There is a girl in our neighbourhood who is making my son miserable.?

Question

It started in daycare, two years ago, and has carried through to kindergarten. We also see her at the park, the library, etc.

At first she seemed like a nice new friend for my son and I encouraged the friendship and even invited her to our house a few times. Then the daycare teacher told me that the girl was telling my son what to do all day and he was just obeying her, which seemed odd, since in other situations he is usually the bossy one! Then my son told me she was pinching him, pulling his hair, and hitting him while the teacher was not looking. I've talked to the parents, the girl, other kids in the class, all teachers and caregivers, and of course my son. Things get better then they get worse again. She now hits him in front of teachers and parents. But the rest of the time she seems so sweet, loves him, follows him everywhere. She also keeps other kids from playing with him, and does so many mean things that my son wants to move away.

Answer 1

Teach him the "I Statement."

"I don't like it when you hit me."

"I don't like it when you pinch me."

"I don't like it when you boss me around."

This is a non-aggressive means of assertion, and all children (and adults) should learn it.

Answer 2

Well honestly thats the c**p that little kids do you know. but if its hurting ur child, then tell him to stay away from you he will make plenty of other friends,

Answer 3

If this has been going on for two years I suggest you address the situation to the Adult in charge.  (don't sit back any longer, that hasn't worked in the past)  

Your child looks up to you for guidance, love, security as well as protection.  You hand you precious gift (your child) over to teachers and it is up to you to see that they look out for the well being of your child.  Bring the situation to their attention once.  If they take measures to secure the well-being of both children and there is an improvement, acknowledge what they have done.  The teachers should be commended if they do as you ask, after all, they are responsible for your child as well.

If there has been no change in behavior bring your concerns up again.  Get results.  Follow up.  Don't let this situation carry onany longer.  Enough is enough!  I wish I had someone who had given my mother this advice.

Answer 4

My son is in a similar situation but he is not being physically hurt. He met a boy when they were both 3 and they are now 6. The boy became "obsessed" with my son and named all of his toys after him and only wanted to play with him. When they entered pre K together the teacher noticed that this boy was leading my son around all day trying to make him do whatever he wanted to do. My son at that time had a very easy going disposition and went along for awhile. Then whenever my son wanted to play with someone else or just do his own thing this kid would chase the other kids away or try to drag and nag my son into just doing what he wanted. Now that they are older my son is very tired of him and the boy is now getting nasty. I am friends with his parents and they think he is the nicest perfect child which he is obviously not. I just keep trying to tell my son to try to play with others more and to tell this kid that if he can't be nice then just stay away. It is sad for these kids to have to deal with this stuff at such a young age. Now my kid is starting to get a bad temper over it which he never had before. If your daughter is being physically hurt I would keep telling all of the adults involved and have your kid steer clear of her whenever possible. That girl is obsessed with your kid and if she can't control him she is going to be mean. It's crazy!!

Answer 5

she sounds like a real SH*T  I would be talking to the parents and teachers again.. and again and again until something is done... also  when i worked in  a childcare centre   if a child came and comlpained about another bullying them or making them do stuff the didnt want too  we would tell the child for then to face the bully hold up their hand (as in a stop signal) and in a loud strong voice say STOP    I DONT LIKE IT or whatever is suitable to say... it seemed to tone things down a lot.. hope that helps

Answer 6

Well u could stop ur son from going near her and playing with her.

u should encourage him to make new friends that wont be mean to him and will always play with him.

if u put it that way he will understand.

Answer 7

Just think about it, if this was reversed and HE was hitting HER something would immediatly be done about it, this will only continue through childhood because i know someone who went through the exact same thing. This might be doing your son some physcological harm, talk to him and see why he lets this happen. I'll get thumbed down but the bottom line is i know for a fact the outcome won't be pretty. Good luck.

Answer 8

u ned to tell the [arents but dont move cause he needs to stand up to her

Answer 9

have a meeting with her parents

Answer 10

its hard when its not ur kid thats being mean... LOL both my oldest have ODD (oppisitional defiance disorder) they are the ones that are mean my daughter punches my son now and shes 9 and hes 13 shes mean at school and he gets suspended for telling his teachers hes not going to class) the main suggestion is move daycares, or have the teachers try harder to keep an eye on things, and stop her whens shes getting to rough, u can talk to the principal and see if theres alternative classes or suggestions to help. but thats a loaded question, since u shouldnt have to move schools etc. for someone elses kid having trouble. maybe talk to her parents again and suggest they have her doctor check for disorders.