Bullying problem?

Question

My 8 year old son is a special needs' second grader.He has mild autism...speech delay,does some rocking motions,etc.He is,thank God,doing wonderfully this year and is mainstreamed most of the time.He's quite sensitive,very sweet...and today,for the first day ever,did not want to go to school.When I asked him why,he said,'Anna is mean to me at recess...'I know this girl (1st grader with an attitude.)...and she is really not too kind to anyone.(Makes one really wonder what her home life is like...)

I called the principal this morning and said she will remedy the situation.I sure hope so!

Is there anything more that I,as his mom,can do??

Answer 1

While I think it's wise to let the authorities know because it's their job to end bullying, not the kids, it's just a fact of life that we all need to prepare our kids to face bullying.

You might try rehearsing some come-backs that your son could use the next time Anna is mean to him. Something that fits within your morals and his personality, such as, "Anna, I think you are paying too much attention to me. I'm not ready for a girlfriend!" or "What's the matter, Anna, are you having a bad day? Do you need some help?"

Something else I have taught my kids is that whenever somebody is bothering them, they should run over to the supervisor (an adult) and just play very close to the supervisor. Bullies only try their stuff when there aren't adults around, so the closer your kid is to the supervising adult, the less likely he will be approached by any bully.

When my son was in second grade, a new kid came to the school and started bullying him. My son is very happy-go-lucky and he couldn't figure out why he was the target. He was very upset by it, and of course, that made things worse. The school knew before I did and they put their no-bullying policy to work very well. However, when no adults were around, my son was always the target. After a month, we found out that the bully's mother had tragically died from cancer the year before and he'd already been kicked out of two schools and held back a grade. Knowing my son is very compassionate, I told him what was going on with this boy, and my son decided that he would let the other boy call him whatever names and say whatever mean things just to get all his anger about losing his mom out of his system. He didn't allow himself to be hit, which wasn't happening anyway, and he is an orange belt in tae kwon do, so he knows how to break away from being held without hurting the other kid, so it was just the emotional stuff.

But after that, every time this boy started in on my son, my son would respond with compassion. With the extra help of the teachers and administration, who were also responding compassionately, this boy experienced a turn-around and by the end of the year, he considered my son a friend and vice versa.

Answer 2

I don't know if this is possible but maybe you can speak to the child's parents. it is very hard dealing with children who are bully's when it is your own child dealing with it. On one hand you want to get angry at the child for being mean, but most bully's are really just expressing in there own way the fact that there is a bigger problem in there life and they don't know how to deal with it.

Answer 3

You've done great so far!

But if i was you i'd probably talk to him about what Anna was saying to him and let him know that it is untrue.

I don't think there is anything you can do about Annas home life, if you are really consurned that something seirous is happening call soial services.

Answer 4

request an office meeting the the childs parents...maybe being able to speak to the girl and explain what your son goes through on a daily basis...gl

Answer 5

If the situation is that the kids go home from school themselves 9not bussed or picked up by the parents), it's a great opportunity.  you can just happen to be there at dismissal, and get the two lf them together.  Then talk to Anna, "woman to woman"  (what 6 year old girl wouldn't love to be treated as a mature person by a grown woman) about what the problem is.  If she understands your son, she may actually find that she likes him.  (And he'll hate you for getting him teased by everyone *other than* Anna.)