By husband and I will be starting the adopting process. But we have no clue. Where to begin?

Question

By husband and I will be starting the adopting process. But we have no clue. Where to begin?

Answer 1

Adopt a child that needs adoption - such as from Foster Care - instead of trying to encourage a mother to give up their child.

(what's best for babies - is to stay with their bio mother)

Read adoptees blogs - they've lived adoption their whole lives -

http://www.adultadoptees.org/forum/index...

Answer 2

contact your local social services and they can direct you to state licensed agencies that can assist you.

or

go to www.adoptuskids.org

Be prepared for a long process . .  .between the homestudies and the waiting.  sometimes, you think you're going to have a new addition but the bmom, who has this right, may decide to parent and the process will start again for you.

Open up your heart and don't think it's like picking out tile for your bathroom floor -- you can't just demand a white infant with red hair and blue eyes . . .keep your options open, even for race and age.

foster parent first to give you a flavor of kids and their issues.

join an adoption support group (not adoptioncrossroads.org) but a support group for people trying to adopt.

again, be prepared for a long wait unless you keep your heart open to the many opportunities that await you -- foster care, race, ages, etc.

Answer 3

Research, research, research and talking, talking, talking.

I would encourage to read some general books (like the Idiot's Guide to Adoption or Adoption for Dummies - horrible titles, but good basic information) about adoption, to get an understanding of how each works and to determine which is best for you and your family.  After that, get more specific in the reading - books written from the point of view of adult adoptees, There needs to be a lot of open and honest communication between you and your husband.  What is the right path for one family is not the right path for another - and you really need to be doing what is best for your family, and what feels right to you.  It's not all about how you feel, though - you need to become informed about all of the things, to make informed decisions.  There are a lot of things about the adoption process that need to change - and it's the responsibility of the PAPs to make sure they are only dealing with ethical agencies/lawyers.  (I personally believe we should only work with non-profit organizations - there shouldn't be anyone, anywhere making a "profit" on adoption).

The information overload is inevitable - things you never thought you'd ever have to think about, so many different options.  Just breathe: you'll get through it, you'll figure it out.

Whichever type of adoption you pursue, there are a few things that you should really keep in mind.  First - and most importantly - research ethical adoptions. Remember that this isn't about you getting a baby (or older child) as quickly as possible - it's about what is best for the child.  You should also only work wth agencies or other facilitators who genuinely are concerned with the needs of the natural mother.  Most women choosing adoption for their children do not fit the stereotype people have in their minds - they are making this decision out of love for their child.  Also important: remember that natural mothers have every right to change their mind.  The baby/child is not "yours" until after TPR, waiting periods and then it is finalized in court.

Good luck to you!

Answer 4

I would recommend the website www.informedadoptions.com

This is a site for adoptive parents and they offer alot of great information.

Please do research "ethical" adoptions.  You will also need to determine what type of adoption you are comfortable with:

Domestic, international, foster.

Answer 5

You need to pick an agency first. They will be the ones who will be doing all your paperwork and who will be showing you all the steps.  I have adopted twice and used the same agency. There website is www.adoptionhelp.org

Good Luck!

Answer 6

My advice to you both is to attend an adoption seminar in your area.  Most agencies will host seminars-pre adoption groups.  You can find information on the web.  There is also a world of information out there in book form as well. I suggest that you read as much as possible. You have many decisions to make with adoption. Domestic? International? Gender? Race? Age? Child with special needs or out of foster care? The list goes on.

Also, start talking openly with your family and friends about your new venture. You will be amazed at how many of your friends have adoption stories either themselves or very close to home that you didn't even know about.  

Adoption is a journey. An emotional rollercoaster.  Educate yourself so that you are best prepared for the ups and downs. It's not simple, but is oh, so rewarding.

Answer 7

if u have the money the best thing i would reccommend is going to a private adoption agency the wait is not as long and the social workers care more

Answer 8

In addition to some already good answers, I'd recommend sticking around here and reading as many of the posts as possible.  You'll get a lot of links to other sites, and you can learn a LOT about life from the adoptee's perspective.  I'd also like to recommend adopting through foster care.  You don't have to be a foster parent ahead of time, it's virtually free, and you'll be giving a home to a child who really needs one.  Good luck!

Answer 9

First decide if you are interested in an international or domestic adoption. Then research adoption agencies in your area. Do a lot of research as there are about a million factors. Foster care is also a good option but not all kids in foster care end up being adopted so that is something else to consider. All avenues have risk so do your research and then follow your heart.

Good luck!

Answer 10

My husband & I are just starting the process as well. So far I've started reading the Complete Idiot's Guide to Adoption & it's got alot of good info in oit. I also suggest talking to as many people as possible about it. Have you had any luck getting info? Good luck.

Answer 11

call the hospital or go see someone that works waith this cases... Usually the hospital has connections for adoption agencies.