CHEATING - I've got a cheater, what should I do?

Question

So my boyfriend of three years, and fiance of six months - I just found out - has been cheating. He's been flirting with multiple girls on facebook and myspace. He's been searching for s*x, and in some instances, getting it. He told these girls - before I confronted him about it - that he was stupid, and didn't want to do it and was never going to contact them. And he has stayed true to that. He told me that he loves me, and will do anything to make me happy again - to make it okay. to make me take him back again... His best friend called, and said that he knew about it all when it was happening. He said that my boyfriend felt horrible and had often cried about it all.. I don't know if I should take him back or not? there are so many layers to this, that it would be impossible for me to document them all first try - so if you need more info, just lemme know. Thanks - confused and heartbroken.

Answer 1

honestly. i wouldnt take him back. my baby's father did the exact same thing to me and we were together 5 and a half years. said he would change over n over again and never did. i wasted my time with him. and even though we have a beautiful daughte together which i love so much, i wish it wouldnt have been from him! but u live n u learn. if it were up to me i would say do not take him back. move on mama.

Answer 2

Well, a cheater is like a hitter or wife abuser, they don't stop.  You forgive them once and they think they can keep on doing it.  They will take advantage of your love, not appreciate it.  If I were you, I would break up with this joker.  And bed someone new, and a couple more too if you so inclined.  Let him know about it too.

Answer 3

i know that in this kind of matter i have a rather narrow mind... but once a traitor... always a traitor. if he felt so bad like his friend said, why did he do it? and it was just out of weakness... i dont think a girl deserves to stay with a guy that cant commit himself to her. it is up to u but if u r going to forgive him make him work d**n hard for it... and i mean d**n HARD... people need to be aware of the weight of their actions. and need to know that to respect the 1 u claim to love is the most important thing in a relationship

Answer 4

Honestly? It's up to you, but I think I'd cancel the engagement. He doesn't deserve to be your fiancee right now. In fact, I think I'd do a trial seperation from him & spend some time apart.

Now he says that he's been "crying" & telling these girls these things, but that has NOT stopped him from cheating, now has it? In fact, if one girl turned him down he'd just go off & find another girl. If it was just ONE girl, then it wouldn't be as bad (since it could be written off as him just falling for one person), but these are SEVERAL girls that he's been sneaking off to s***w. Who knows what he'd been bringing back to you? He's been putting you at risk for all sorts of STDs & AIDS!

Personally I think you should kick him to the curb. He's not going to change, especially since he's the worst kind of cheater--- the type that has several girls at once. Think about it this way, he's been cheating for a long time now, right? What makes you think he's going to stop? He claimed he felt guilty, but he kept right on checking out girl after girl. That doesn't show guilt, that shows cunning. I think he's feeding you lines in order to get you to come back & I guarantee that if you do go back, he'll cheat on you again. (If he's not already lining up totty on Myspace & facebook under different names.)

Answer 5

wow. talk to him 1st, and ask him questions that you want to ask...

if you really love him take him back,but i suggest talk to him 1st hes a very confused man

Answer 6

very sorry to hear hun, hugz. It is hard this situation, but the things is sometimes once a cheater always a cheater. you should of told you not his mate and it doesnt matter if he feels guilty as he should as it is wrong. you should of put u first. have use been having problems lately? the thing is you have to think about will he do it again, will you be able to handle him goin out without you? will u be able to trust him? i have had someone cheat on me before i took him back but the whole not been able to trust him made me so haeart borken always wondering what he was doing, always didnt believe him where he was who he was seeing. just tore me apart. but we ended up breaking up as he did me wrong again.  

Answer 7

the saying goes once a cheater always a cheater, don;t set yourself up for a more heartbreak, you forgive once for doing he make think its alright to do it again

Answer 8

NO ONE deserves to be cheated on. This is ridiculous. It sounds like your fiance is just having his friend cover for him. This guy seems like a jerk.