CHRISTIANS - How best to handle this situation?

Question

Athesists NEED NOT ANSWER, this question is for CHRISTIANS ONLY.

I have a self-involved, self-righteous athesist neighbor who, by the love of God, I have honestly attempted to witness to with minimum pressure. Still, this chick goes around babbling about her non-God and how he's not really a God and athesism isn't really a religion, babbles about her class in demonics at the local (non-Biblical) college and practices witchcraft in the evening (I've seen her light candles and heard the sound of the lambs. Clarisse? Do you hear the lambs screaming, Clarisse? Do you hear them screaming?)

Ahem. How best to witness to this poor, doomed woman? She is killing all the babbies in the backyard.

ATHESISTS - NO.

Answer 1

"ATHESISTS - NO"

You really must put up some manner of disclaimer! I just laughed so hard that Sierra Nevada almost came out my nose... and all over my keyboard.

It's not pretty... I assure you. But it was worth it. Lol..

Answer 2

Not my answer, but Jesus':

Matthew 10:14 - whoever will not receive you nor hear your words, when you depart from that house or city, shake the dust from your feet.

God doesn't expect you to save everyone.  He only asks that you share your faith, which you have.  Be warned, though, that you are not the one who is self-righteous.  Check your reasons for trying to talk to this neighbor.  Genuine love?  Or desire to have everyone at your church see you as a spectacular Christian?

Answer 3

I am suprised at you////

Answer 4

Ask GOD to bring a person to witness to her that once was involved with witch craft and other similar things that who is now a christian, BECAUSE of the bad experiences they had with this stuff which led them to Christ. (trust me, they exist.)

Answer 5

pray for god to send someone else to minister to her one scripture says in gist "pray that he send laborers into the land" or something like that which is saying if you can't reach her then mabey you can pray and someone else will

Answer 6

*cough*troll*cough*

leave the woman alone.

Answer 7

I am neither Christian nor athiest, and my  answer is .....

Mind your own g*d d*mn business and leave this poor woman alone!

Ever hear of FREEDOM OF RELIGION?

There are no more disgusting, despicable people in this world than those who have no respect for the religion, or lack of religion, of others, and their rights to believe or not believe as they please, and who seek to convert them, because they have nothing better to do with their own miserable lives.

Answer 8

Just do not be a Self-Righteous "Christian" and pray for her. Do good to those who persecute you. It takes Maturity...I'm not the perfect Christian, but I know when someone is trying to jerk my chain. Just don't play the game. And stop calling her doomed, only God can judge.

Love your neighbor as yourself....

Answer 9

*starts to answer*

Ehhhh!

*struggles*

ARRGGHHH!

Can't.

Stop.

Myself!!!

*doesn't answer*

Answer 10

Awwwhh! I never get to ahve any fun any more. I wanna be a thesistist so I can nswer all teh good quesitond! See.. my spellt and grandma is no good.. I can doit.

Answer 11

Lol, "Clarisse? Do you hear the lambs screaming, Clarisse? Do you hear them screaming?"  

Answer 12

It's in God's hand. You cannot change a person automatically. When there is a great opportunity to talk to her; tell her about Jesus Christ. God can work in her heart; your ultimate job is to witness His love to her humbly, without criticising her beliefs. Just simply be intrigued in what she believes, as well as intervene by telling her about Jesus Christ. Know His Word first.

Answer 13

You need to realize right now that you may be, and probably are, under spiritual attack by Satan. Ground yourself well in God's Word, especially those Scriptures that deal with Satan's defeat and your authority in Christ. You also need much time in prayer and possibly some fasting. You must first prepare the soil before planting any seeds. Ensure your own spiritual strength first and foremost. When you are ready you will need to openly come against all forces of evil in Jesus' name. You will need to bind them all and order them to leave your area. This is spiritual warfare and must not be taken lightly. Also, enlist strong Christian supporters to assist in this task. It is best not to try it alone if at all possible. Most importantly, know that you do have authority over the powers of evil in Jesus' name when you are a true believer. Have some strong Christians form a prayer group specifically to pray for you in this battle. Hold prayer meetings and Bible studies in your home and sing praises to the Lord. I hope this helps, God bless

Answer 14

I'm not an "athesist", I'm an atheist, so I'll answer.  Plus it's a free site.

My advise - leave the woman alone.  She doesn't push her beliefs on you.  

Answer 15

This is preposterous, bring her to Salem Massachusetts and use the back door.

Answer 16

Tell her the Bible has a chapter called "Numbers" in it.

Before numbers had even been invented.

Then shout "Glorious" very loudly and several times into her ear.

If she still does not repent. Then you'll have to go graphic on her.

Show her images of the Abu Gharib torture. Then tell that Jeezebel, "this is what happens to people who mock God... Jesus had told George Bush Iraq had WMDs and these people mocked God by not having any WMDs."

That should do it... It always works for me...

Answer 17

Count your blessings Thricy.  I've got a maniac religious old woman, who cranks up her favourite Orthodox station (I swear it's like listening to bad Dead Can Dance) at all hours in the morning, who is absolutely sure that her American neighbour (and four year old son) are spawn of Satan himself.

No matter how I tell her that I am Christian, if I don't worship little Mary icons, I'm from the Devil.  I've resorted to blasting White Zombie in the morning to drown her out.

You haven't heard any sounds of cows have you?  

Answer 18

ROFL

MOVE!!!

Answer 19

We atheists are a disobedient lot.

The witnessing you are claiming to practice is a huge waste of time.  As long as she's not sacrificing your pets, leave her alone.  

Oh, or stealing your cookies, of course.

Answer 20

the best answer to that is pray for her do that every time you see her light her candles God is listening and he will answer your prayers

or you can get a few of your christian friends and have a prayer meeting or  some of you go in front of her house (stay on the side walk) and some go in back of her house (off her property) and pray

Answer 21

LOL. I wouldn't touch that with a 40 foot pole.

Answer 22

Sorry.  I know I'm an atheist, and I wasn't supposed to answer, but dark forces compelled me to do it anyway.

Answer 23

You know there are other theists other than Christians you can partake in making fun of.  

That IS what you do on here, right?  Make fun of Christians?

Charming.

Answer 24

my advice is to take her a plate of cookies sprinkled liberally with holy water...

also ask her if you could have some of her lamb.  meat is expensive these days.

i got a c+ in demonics.

((thrice))

Answer 25

hey u dumb cow one who practises witchcraft is not atheist !!!

atheists dont believe in god nor in satan nor in some stupid witchcrafts.

Answer 26

I know this is a last resort, but you're just going to have to ask God to send down the green slime. Gets them to repent every time.

Answer 27

She will change if you recite the following song 3 times:

Hail satan, full of might,

Our allegiance is with thee.

Cursed are they, the god adorers,

And cursed are the worshippers of the nazarene.

Ave satanas, ave satanas

Unholy satan, bringer of enlightment,

Lend us thy power, now and throughout our lives.

Endless glory shall be given.

Lord of h**l, show us thy way.

Ave satanas, ave satanas

Jesus christ, we deny thy name.