CLICK ON THIS QUESTION!!!!! Ten points for best answer!?

Question

do you know any funny jokes,emmbarising moments,excuses,stories that you wanna tell

share your wisdom

i need laughfter

ten point for best answer

Answer 1

knock knock whos here boo who dn't cry it only me

Answer 2

Check out the "jokes and riddles" section of this website under "Entertainment", it really is THAT simple. Can I have my points.

Answer 3

embarrassing moment: i was drunk walking across a bridge above a channel and fell overboard into the channel

Answer 4

One of my most embarrassing moments was when I was absolutely bursting for the toilet (completely sober) and legged it all the way up from my mates house nearly to my own....

I couldn't hold it any more and with my old nosey neighbour staring at me out of her window and only TWO doors away from my house, my bladder just gave way...and I relieved myself right there and then! Cars passed me and my neighbour just continued to stare...I didn't know what to do!

To make things worse when I got in my house, my grandpa opened the door and my aunties were right behind him!

I had to leg it up the stairs in soaking wet clothes, socks and shoes EWWW.

I still cringe thinking about it!

Hope you get a laugh at my misfortune! :)

X

Answer 5

10 day old baby her first time out pooped out her diaper in target and it was all over her clothes.  pretty embarrassing.  wasnt expecting it, was the first time she pooed out her diaper LOL.

Answer 6

Agent: Hello. I would like to order 19 large pizzas and 67 cans of soda.

Pizza Man: And where would you like them delivered?

Agent: We're over at the psychiatric hospital.

Pizza Man: The psychiatric hospital?

Agent: That's right. I'm an FBI agent.

Pizza Man: You're an FBI agent?

Agent: That's correct. Just about everybody here is.

Pizza Man: And you're at the psychiatric hospital?

Agent: That's correct. And make sure you don't go through the front doors. We have them locked. You will have to go around to the back to the service entrance to deliver the pizzas.

Pizza Man: And you say you're all FBI agents?

Agent: That's right. How soon can you have them here?

Pizza Man: And everyone at the psychiatric hospital is an FBI agent?

Agent: That's right. We've been here all day and we're starving.

Pizza Man: How are you going to pay for all of this?

Agent: I have my checkbook right here.

Pizza Man: And you're all FBI agents?

Agent: That's right. Everyone here is an FBI agent. Can you remember to bring the pizzas and sodas to the service entrance in the rear? We have the front doors locked.

Pizza Man: I don't think so. Click.

Answer 7

okay heres my joke.

a guy drives past a retirement home on his way to a grocery store and he notices that there are about 6 ladies laying out on the lawn naked. he doesnt think too much of it and drives on. after leaving the store he sees that the ladies are still outside, concerned he pulls into the parking lot and goes inside to the front desk.

man: are you aware that there are 6 elderly ladies laying on the lawn naked.

front desk lady: yes sir, you see they are retired hookers and today they are having a yard sale.

i heard this joke the other day and i laughed for i dont know how long. hope you enjoyed!!

Answer 8

I just got home from having s*x with my girlfriend at the time, only thing is, that I went in raw and she didn't wanna swallow. So, I went home after with blue balls. I had to spank the monkey because it hurt. So, I'm home alone doing my business when all of a sudden, I heard the front door opening. As soon as I did, I splattered fast...and hard. Part of the splatter went into my eye, and it turned red. So, I clean up, and walk outside. My parents asked me, "what happened to you?" Then they looked at my hand abd my napkins and laughed. Hysterically. I still havent heard the end of it...

Answer 9

You are...  am joke...

Answer 10

Since Father's Day is around the corner:

Top Ten Things You'll Never Hear a Dad Say

10. Well, how 'bout that?... I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.

9. You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?

8. I noticed that all your friends have a certain "up yours" attitude ... I like that.

7. Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car -- GO CRAZY.

6. What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, son?

5. Your Mother and I are going away for the weekend ... you might want to consider throwing a party.

4. Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies -- you know -- that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.

3. No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring -- now quit your belly-aching, and let's go to the mall.

2. Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.

1. Father's Day? aahh -- don't worry about that -- it's no big deal.

For more of good clean jokes try this website: www.ahajokes.com

Happy laughter!

Answer 11

I was Mentor for a Mentally Retarded kid in high school a few years ago, his name was Steve but he wouldn't answer you unless you called him *Ranger Steve*, because he loves the Power rangers and every Friday for game day for the foot ball team he would wear a Power ranger outfit to school and act 100% like a Power ranger for the entire day :D

Answer 12

Last week my mom and I brought my 3 year old nephew to the beach. He came over and told my mom he had to go pee. The walk to the rest rooms takes FOREVER, so my mom whispered to him "just go in the water like the fishies do.". So he went to the waters edge, dropped his swim trunks, and peed in ankle deep water, while we all stood and looked at his little white behind, not knowing whether to laugh, or holler!

Answer 13

here is some funny odd tings I said when I was little:

I used to think my teachers slept in closets.

I used to be afraid of pinapple.

I thought everyting at the stores was free.

I was very gulible..you vould tell me anyhitng and I would belive you.

When I would warsh my dads car I would say "Now pay up, My work dont come cheap and neighter do I."

I hope this made you laugh.

-Tara

Answer 14

These are 2 of my favorite jokes!?

A Greek man and an Italian man are arguing over who provided the world with the most important things. The Greek man brought up Mythology and the Olympics. The Italian man countered with the Colosseum and the Sistine Chapel. Finally the Greek man says "well... WE gave the world s*x" The Italian man says "Yes...but WE introduced it to women"

An old couple go to the doctors office because the man needs a physical. The doctor says "OK sir, I am going to need a urine sample, a stool sample and a s***n sample." The old man who is hard of hearing says "What did you say Sonny". His wife yells in his ear "HE SAYS HE NEEDS YOUR UNDERWEAR!!!"

Hope you enjoyed them!

Answer 15

i thought this was kinda funny.

According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer, each year male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.

Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer,every single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen . . . had to be a girl!

We should've known. Only women would be able to drag a fatman in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night, and not get lost!