CUTTERS- WHY is she sending me pictures of her cuts??

Question

i tried to help my friend who is a cutter who was cutting last night, she said today

thanks for your support

attaching pics of damage done

sorry if it is sickening

you did good tho

why is she sending me the photos?? (she actually sent them to me last night as well, i was actually hoping they were photos of her mended now, but they werent.) why is she sending them to me again- obviously she was drunk and she forgot, but still, why send them at all? i know she isnt it doing it for "attention" because she knows there isnt a d**n thing i can do for her, nor, do i actually think she wants me too in actual fact. is it just to show me the measure of her pain? i mean ive had an eating disorder before so i guess i might tell someone how bad my binge was, but telling someone you ate 24 cupcakes - or whatever- is a bit different than showing them a picture of your bloody thigh?

i dont understand. shes the most darling girl that would do anything for anybody and has always helped me out massively in the past. can anyone explain?

do i just check that she got to bed ok, kept warm, stitched up her wounds (she knows how), and ask how shes feeling today? thanks

Answer 1

I know you say she isnt doing it for the 'attention' but I really think she is, trust me, I've been there. She needs help and fast.

Answer 2

tell he she might as well be cutting you as well

Answer 3

A possible answer is,that is her way of crying out to you for help in hopes that.You will show more concern and spend more time with her to prevent it.From happening much in the future.

Answer 4

if shes making wounds that needs stitching, she needs serious medical help. she sent them again this morning so you knew she hadn't died.

you need to get her help, so she stops doing it, and deals with the problems causing it. like you said, you can't do anything for her, but you can guide her to people who can. she clearly is asking for help even though you and her may not realise it.

get her to tell someone about it, and if she wont, then make sure you do it for her!

Answer 5

Call for help?

Answer 6

Make her talk about whats bothing her!! If she doesnt say.. Keep asking her to say!.. Because she does want to let it out! Talk to her and get her out more!

Answer 7

this is for attention there i no way its not.

she wants you to like feel sorry for her if u know what i mean.

you need to put her straight and tell someone because then she will wake up and realise this isnt right and its not fair to put you into it and showing you this.

Its hard,but you got to be bad to do right, and to put someone straight. if u just sit there and panda to her then nothink will good will happen.

She may hate you at first but then when she wakes up she will know it was for the best and will defendly thank you.

Answer 8

I think that she might feel that showing her pain will call on people to nurture her and take care of her as opposed to the other way around. She wants to feel wanted and that her suffering is unique and not the same.- just speculation but an idea

Answer 9

She is doing this for attention.  She wants help.  Tell her parents about this.  She needs to see a therapist.

Answer 10

Hello.  I have a couple of theories.

1.  She really does want help and it showing you the pictures so that someone knows how much she is damaging herself.  She wants help, but can't figure out how to help herself, so she is trying to find someone who can help her figure that out.

2. Cutting sometimes gives you a really twisted sense of pride.  It's like a f**ked up form of achievement, almost.  So maybe she actually felt a sense of awe and wonder at the inflictions and is showing you the way some insecure people send around emails to everyone they know of their boat or a million albums of their kids or something.  It is something very personal to her, in this instance, I'd imagine.

3.  She hates herself and is trying to show you how disgusting she is (in her own mind).  Maybe she is trying to push you away in a masochistic fashion.

I don't think people really self-injure for attention.  Not in the way that some people like to say ... if its attention, it is a real cry for help if she is hurting herself that badly.  

Try to push her towards getting professional help.  

Answer 11

Poor girl.  She is saying to you "LOOK , LOOK HOW UNHAPPY I FEELI FEEL SO MESSED UP THAT THIS IS WHAT I HAVE TO DO TO MYSELF.  PLEASE DO SOMETHING TO MAKE ME FEEL BETTER OR  TELL SOMEONE WHO CAN MAKE ME FEEL BETTER"

She will of course deny this and if she read this she would want to tell me to f**k off,but if my suspicions are correct (and I think they are because I'm a cutter myself, although I'm alot better than I used to be).  Yes, ask her how she's feeling and is there anything that you can do.  Perhaps she doesn't want to be on her own. Especially if she has post alcohol anxiety.  She might not even want to talk but just have some company.  I hope she's okay. Jo  x

Answer 12

Because like all self harmers she is an attention seeker. Ignore her.

Answer 13

You say that you thought she was drunk when she sent the photo's - perhaps that allowed her to send the photo's - she may not have had she been sober.

Cutters don't cut to cause themselves pain, they cut to relieve pain.  It was a little unfair of her to send you these pictures - you are not able to deal with this - yes, you are her friend, but you are not qualified to deal with this situation - a situation, which is far more common that most people think, but one that needs proper attention.

Her sending you the photo's is equivalent to a cry for help.  Sadly, she is asking the wrong person.  You can be there as a friend, but you cannot help her as a self-harmer - she needs professional help and, if she is able to, she needs to confide in her parents.  Hopefully, they will love her enough to do anything to help.

Please don't feel bad - this isn't something you should have to deal with - just be a friend!

Take care. x

Answer 14

She is begging for help.  She wants to feel alive because she is dead inside.  Cutters need Jesus the Christ as much as any mentally disturbed person has ever needed anyone.  Tell her family, but she needs more than they are giving her.

Get a King James Bible and read Scripture with her.  Read the Psalms or Read the Book of John to her.  You read to her if she will not read the Word of God.  Tell her that God commands that we know His Word.  Tell her that she is The Temple of God and that God says that she is fearfully and wonderfully made.  Tell her that God loves her more than anyone she will ever know.  Tell her that regardless of what man says that God is her Creator.  Tell her that she needs peace with God, peace with others and peace with herself.  Only God can give this peace.  He gives us the peace that surpasses all understanding.

Take her to the Lord and if you do not know Him, then the two of you can learn about the Lord together.  She needs to feel like she belongs and that she is alive.  Tell her God is life and He can put life into her.  Jesus came to set the captives free.

We can be raised in a very religious home and not know Jesus.  God is no respector of persons.  God wants her healed today.  When we put all of our attention on God instead of our problems, the Lord will bring the victory over mental or physical disease for us.

May the Lord bless you in doing His will.  Convince her that she is not alone, that she has the Lord and you.  And if the Lord be for her who can be against her.  Take her to a doctor to look at her wounds because of infection.  When the Psychiatrist fails - remember what I told you.

Answer 15

Maybe shes calling out to you for help. And just so you know there is something you can do...be there for her. Tell her when she feels like cutting, call you instead and talk about it. This is the way she deals with emotional pain...she needs to feel some sort of release psycially. If shes always been there for you, always be there for her. Thats true friendship. Picking her up when shes at her lowest point, she'd do the same.

Answer 16

She is trying to communicate her pain to anyone who will listen (or see).

Cutting is a lot more complicated than just trying to get attention. Only people who know nothing about it say its just for attention.

Just showing her you care can help a lot. You don't say if she's getting help for this, but she needs your encouragement and support to do so.

She obviously trusts you. This might give you a little leverage in helping her to stop.

Answer 17

she clearly trusts you a lot. she wants you to know that she trusts you, and she wants you not to worry to much. you sound like a Great friend.x

Answer 18

She obviously has so much bottled up inside and has so much frustration and she gets release from this by cutting herself.  I would also keep an eye on things in time to come, self harming, being manipulative and latching on to people and acting out in completely irrational ways can also be signs of borderline personality disorders.