Call her or leave it alone, and just be hurt?

Question

I was married to a man 18 years ago who had a daughter (2 yrs). I gave birth to her half brothers in the marriage. After our divorce, she and I have always stayed fairly close, talking occasionally. She showed me her engagement ring and told me about her dress and gave me the date and everything, even introduced me to her fiance.

This next month she is getting married and the invitation came to my house recently, but only with her brothers' name on it.

Should I shut up and just be crushed that a child that I have always felt was mine also get married and I not get to go?

Her brothers think that their father did this, and not her. He has remarried and listed his new wife as her mother even. (she has never met her real mother).

Answer 1

You said you married a man 18 years ago but you didn't say how long you were married. If you were married 18 years that makes her your little girl, and yes it would hurt me to know i was not invited. I would ask her plainly what happened that you were not invited to he special day. I do think that the new wife will not have it and maybe her dad is paying for some of the wedding making it hard for her to go against her dad and her dad must be being put in a situation by his now new wife.

The best thing you can do is tell he how you feel and then let her deal with the fact that your not going to be there, at one point she might be angry with the new wife of her father for not being adult enough to handle this one special day and have you by her side too.

Answer 2

somethings are better left unsaid...use ur gut!

Answer 3

Find out the truth first.  You will waste a lot of energy feeling hurt if it's not true.

Answer 4

Maybe you could ask one of the boys to talk to her and ask if she just overlooked your invitation or if was intentional.  It could be the father's doing, yes, and that she really does want you there.  Ask one of the boys to find out.  Good luck on this.  I know  you are hurt.

Answer 5

I am sure the father is behind this,probably with or else?She probably would love to be there and when you see her tell her your sad because you can't be there but would love to see the pictures and you will come out smelling like a rose.

Answer 6

this is a hard one for the bride to be. its normal to want to have daddy there, and blood, but even if you raised her by your self, inviting you, maybe stressful, its clear she want you to be apart of her life, showing you the ring and stuff, but it might not be okay for the father who you have had a long term relationship with. on top of that his new wife is going to be there, and she can not ask her dad to not invite the other lady.

i think the situation would be different, if the Father didn't have another lady, you know how jealous woman get.

just make it a point to talk to her, and tell her you wish you could have been invited, but understand the circumstances, give her your condolences, and ask for you two to celebrate another time.

this is something i would not like to be stuck between, either way someones going to get hurt.

Answer 7

wow i can imagine your pain that you are going through. I believe strongly that you should call her and tell her how you feel. its not fair to you to have to be  hurt.