Calling all DADS!!!!!!!! how was your emotions before , during and after baby / pregnancy?

Question

me and my husband are trying ot conceive. but he has this attitude that he will not change diapers adn he will laugh at me when i am screaming in pain, and that he will have no emotion when he sees his child come out other than "here we go another bill" he acts and talks like having a baby will not change him emotionally and make him grow up a little. he is 26 and this will be his first. this will be my 3rd. he is not close to my kids and i am hoping that having a child of his own will help to grow a bond with my kids also. he says he will not cut the cord, nor will he wake up at night at all, and nor will he have any sympothy for me when i am in pain and sick with morning sickness, and that he will not go to doctor appts with me

so this is what i want to know..... DADS >>> how were you before the talk of baby ever come up, then, when you first found out she was pregnant, through out her pregnancy, the moment your baby was born and as your baby grows up in your home

Answer 1

Sounds as though he may not want a baby at all. He probably wont change diapers or get up at night.  I dont know about the laughing at you in pain. But I know I was saddened because my husband basically had little emotion when our daughter was born via csection. He didnt feel bad for me either when I felt ill.  I would reconsider the baby issue!

Answer 2

I am not a Dad but I can tell you my experience

he probably won't change a lot of diapers, or get up in the night (ooh in the beginning you will look at while he is sleeping and you haven't really slept for weeks and just want to push him off the bed or something)

He will not laugh at you when you are in pain--he will probably be worried and proud

He will definitely have emotion

the baby will change everything

He will definitely grow up a lot.

HE ISN'T CLOSE TO YOUR KIDS!!!! do they live with you? how old are they? what the h**l are you thinking? i hope they are adults.

he probably won't cut the cord

he may not have sympathy or go to doctors appointments.

Please, are your children young why would you marry someone who wasn't close to your kids.

No if he is not close to your kids i doubt this will bring him closer and i do not think he is a suitable husband for you

does he not want kids--if he doesn't want a child then don't pressure him

EDIT: I am sorry if I seemed rude--it is a hot topic with me there are so many stories of women's boyfriends and husbands killing their children.

I was  a single mom so when it came to dating--I was very picky.  The man I chose to be with loves my son just like he is his own.  I knew he was the man that I would marry when I first discovered that he had fallen in love with my son.  We are not married--the wedding is in 1 week.  We have a daughter she is 15 months and a son he is 4.  When I became pregnant my mom asked him if he wanted a boy or a girl and his first response was 'I want a girl I already have my boy'.  I know that no man could ever love my son like his Dad, not even his father.  

Anyways, my fiance was pretty young when we began dating and didn't have any children--he said he wouldn't cut the cord and didn't.  he said he wouldn't change diapers or get up in the night and he rarely does or did.  He did not laugh at me when I was in pain--he wasn't very sympathetic when I was pregnant though--he was worried and after I had my daughter he told me he was proud about how well I handled it--he wouldn't look when the baby was coming out.  he only went to one or   two doctors appointments when I was pregnant--he went to all ultrasounds and no drs appointments at the end at all.  His relationship with our son made him grow up quite a bit so he had already matured a lot before I became pregnant but it was our son that helped him grow up and it was a very noticeable difference to all, to his parents and at his job--he got a promotion just because responsbility is what he lacked in not getting.  When our daughter was born he was a proud daddy BUT when I first woke up in labor--he insisted on taking a bath before we went to the hospital--I woke up at 4:45 Am and had her 7 Am on the dot so you can imagine how ticked I was that he took a bath first--I knew I was ready and he thought he could lounge around.

Anyway, good luck and I hope he can build a relationship with your children.

Oh yeah my fiance had never been around children really either before my son--I remember the first time he held his hand out to let my son spit out his food in it--(he was much younger then)   Gee, I guess I really am the Luckiest.