Calling all psychologists...I'm fighting myself; I have Ptsd and I think I know wat I should be doin' but ....

Question

I resist. I've kept secrets for a long time for the sake of others (and of course, me, cause I never wanted to let them see me sweat). I tried to live my life acting like I was just fine when I was protecting my parents' by not tellin them a/b my brother abusin me (me too, I was too proud plus I knew I didn't have anybody in my corner anyway). I protected my sister ( she's 12 yrs older than I) from the fact that her husband was a child molester....I watched over her kids like a hawk for signs of abuse. Now I'm the bad kid cause drink too much, smoke, etc. But I raised my kid better than I was raised; my kid's lazy but didn't have to grow up like I did. I'm PERSONA NON GRATA & I don't understand.

Answer 1

You cannot repair the harm and abuse that you have endured.  And, you cannot forget those experiences.  There is no need to hide from them.  In fact, you need to fully accept their existence and the pain that they have caused.

But, that doesn't mean that you must continually and obsessively lament your past.  Instead, you can choose to live completely in the present and focus on making the best of your life right now.

Wake up tomorrow before the sun rises, go outside and watch the sun come up over the horizon.  Imagine that this new day that is dawning is a metaphor for you making a fresh start with your life.

Don't forget that dark night that you just endured.  Instead, take in all that is good and fresh about this new day that is just beginning.