Calling the police the right thing to do?

Question

My older cousin sexually abused me years ago when I was a little kid, and i just recenlty told my family about it and called the cops. When they found out i called the cops they got really mad. Am I doing the right thing by telling the police?

Answer 1

Telling the police is the right thing and don't let any other person convince you otherwise.

You may feel guilty about sending a family member to jail but remember your just doing the right thing. This cousin made the wrong choice and in itself is what's sending her to jail is her actions not you.

Ask yourself the following questions:

Is it illegal to sexual abuse a child in your country?

Is this cousin of yours above the law?

Do you live in a civilized society?

Most countries take sexual abuse very seriously.

Your cousin no matter who he/she is needs to own up to his/her actions. There is no point in living in a civilized society if people are not held accountable of their actions.

Be true to yourslef and don't let others silence your voice. You have every right in the world to tell the police, the law gives you right, modern (it sounds like you parents are rather old school) soceity gives your right and most important of all no matter what religion you are, God gives you right.

When you need help ask for it. When you stop seeking the help of others that's a first step in the wrong direction. I know. I stopping seeking help for myself and it got me to the point of wanting to kill myself. Trust me when I say that being suicidal is a dark and chaotic place to be and when I look back on it I still get scared.

If you can't be honest with yourself than who can you be honest with?  

Answer 2

Absolutely! This is a very personal decision and only you can make the decision that is best for you.

Check with your local law enforcement. There is a statute of limitations, but in some states, such as Oregon, the clock only starts after law enforcement becomes aware of the issue.

You have a right to get justice for what has been done for you, and I applaud you for it. It is very, very, very difficult to come forward with information such as that, especially when it is a family member where others react poorly to the news. That you had the courage to stand up through that is amazing. Don't let anyone take that away from you.

Answer 3

We could debate for days the impact on the family, families trying to protect their own, loyalty to family, etc.  

The bottom line is, however, that when someone sexually assaults ANYONE, it is no longer about family.  It is about someone who did not ask to be victimized being faced with a decision about what course of action to take against their offender.  

The only way that you can get closure AND ensure that no one else is victimized is to go to the police and support their investigation.  Make sure that you get in contact with their victim services department, as they will be a great resource for you, and will help you come to realize that you did the correct thing.

Kudos for taking a huge and difficult step.

Answer 4

Yes, you did the right thing.

Answer 5

As a victim you have the right to make any police reports neccessary for documenting sexual abuses. Often family members don't understand the reality of sexual abuses kept silent over the years..when some one is the family comes forward and tells on another family member that has abused them. wondering what the police told you to do..family relationships are very sensitive and run deep..and people often cannot understand why one family member would abuse another family member in this matter.

Answer 6

Yes you did the right thing. And if your parents aren't coming around to that fact, sooner or later they will and they are probably in total shock righ tnow.. SO give it time sadly enuff to say..

but I believe you did the right thing..

Answer 7

Yes for reporting it.  Although the timing is in question, any family would be upset for keeping a deep dark secret.

Answer 8

Yes, but it may be too late for legal action. There is usually a statue of limitations on cases like these.

Answer 9

Darn right you done the right thing as said you can believe that there are others if only just one but there are others Abusers do not just do one and stop So you done what was best .

Please be sure to follow through and in that i mean get therapy top help you deal with the things you have went through. No one can carry that pain alone.It is as they say better out than in.

Answer 10

If he abused you, he abused some one else. You did the right thing.