Can't get husband to help with kids/ housework!?

Question

We have a two year old, 7 month old, and I'm pregnant with number 3 and I am exhausted to the point of breaking down crying every single day. I do all the housework because if I don't it doesn't get done, and I get roughly 4 hours of sleep per night due to the kids. My family never helps out babysitting. My 7 month old has been away from me one night since his birth and it took me being hooked up to IV's for dehydration (I'm pregnant with horrible morning sickness and can't hold down water most of the time) to even get that. I understand I'm suppose to watch my kids but I NEED A BREAK and I've told everyone I know this, including my husband. I'll tell him I'm tired and I need help and all I get is that fact that I don't have a job thrown up in my face because he works all day (8-5) at a hardware store!) I'm sick of it and asking for help never works for me. As horrible as it sounds adoption has even crossed my mind lately even though I'd never do it. I'm at my wits end.

Answer 1

I doubt all this just started. Maybe you should have realised what a loser he was before you had the second and then third baby. How many more do you plan to have, enough to start a migrant worker crew? Maybe he'll get better with time, so just keep popping them out.

Answer 2

when he says you don't have a job say no i have three full time 24 hours jobs

Answer 3

I would really try talking with your family again and let them in on the situation.  also, if your husband-ish man is not doing his part tell him taht you would gladly switch spots with him and get a full or even a part time job or whatever so he will see you are serious...sorry but workign at a hardware store...NOT SO tuff.  I am 39 weeks prego and still working..and i still come home and cook/clean/take care of dogs etc...it is hard!  End of sentence..HARD...and t he fact is You Need Some Help!!!  So what you really need to do, is not ask his permission and just get some...even if its every other day a babysitter for a couple hours so you can catch up on your sleep or project or even to just take a bath....you need some YOU time

Answer 4

I never understood why people keep having kids when they can't handle them.  PLEASE get on some type of reliable birth control.

Next, if he works all week, try compromising with him so that either Saturday or Sunday is "father/kids day" where he gets to do something special that day with them.

I can sympathise with you both.  He feels that since you wanted all these kids you should watch them, while you feel you wanted them but didn't expect to do it all by yourself.  I hope things work out.

Answer 5

You're going to have to get mean with him - lay down the law and tell him you need help or it's over and you'll find someone else who will help you.

My hubby and I both work full time first shift.  I do end up doing most of the housework, but he helps.  He'll even do it all if he knows I'm about ready to snap.  You didn't make those babies on your own, so you shouldn't have to take care of them all on your own.  Quit cooking for him, quit doing his laundry, quit cleaning up after him, and quit having s*x with him.  Maybe he'll get it then - that it's just too much for you to do.  Don't take it out on the kids, you'll be able to deal much better after you have the 3rd.  Good luck!

Answer 6

Honey, you need help! Demand a babysitter, even if it is just a Jr. High School student on summer vacation or senior citizen who can come in an watch your kids everyday while you take a nap!  I just did EXACTLY that! I am prego with number 2, working Monday through Friday and Husband works on weekends and my 3 year old does not have daycare on weekends but I have been feeling sick, sick,sick. Finally I just asked one of the teens at my church if she wouldn't mind coming over and playing with my DD and she has even spent the night with us once! She keeps my DD occupied, takes her outside and plays with her while I take a snooze in the hamock. Great!

Answer 7

Erika,

I'm so sorry you are going through this.  You poor thing must be exhausted emotionally and physically.  Maybe if you talk to your doctor and tell them how you are feeling, you can urge the doc to call and talk to your husband.  Maybe he'll listen if it's coming from a doctor.  I wish I can give you more advice, I just really wanted to let you know I am thinking of you and hope you can get the support you need from your family.  I'll be praying for you.  good luck