Can I Still Press Charges on the Man that Sexually Assaulted Me?

Question

Please help me.

On October 15, 2007 I went to hang out with a man at my college. He had been sending me emails for one year. I responded to some of them because I felt I had to be nice and it would be mean to ignore him.

At his apartment he sexually assaulted me. Afterwards, he started stalking me. He told me he would kill me if I didn't be his girlfirend and described in vivid detail how he wanted to rape me.

I never reported it because I was on probation at the time for underage drinking. I was also only 20 years old. He had given me two beers to drink before the assault took place. I was worried that I would go to jail if I reported it.

It is all messed up. I did go to the police and reported how he stalked me. However, I left out the part of him sexually assaulting me. I was intimindated by the male police officer and I was so ashamed and scared of telling him. I don't know if this would be lying to the police. I don't want to go to jail.

One month after the assault, I developed green sores on my genitals. I was diagnosed with HPV and Herpes. I am so depressed. I can't sleep at night because the Herpes makes my genitals itch. It is a nightmare. I dropped out of college since this happened. All I do is sit at home and prey that the itching goes away.

I am going to see a psychologist soon. I am going to tell her about it (I am going to see a woman because I feel ashamed talking about Herpes in front of men). I secretly hope she reports it to the police. However, I am still worried that I will go to jail because I drank underage (violating my probation) and I might have lied to the police since I left hte part out that he assaulted me.

What should I do? I am considering suicide. I just want the nightmare to end.

Answer 1

You won't get an attorney.  The DA will prosecute.  You just have to tell your mom what happened.  Will people believe you?  Hard to say since you waited so long.  But if he's raped other people, the DA will find that out, and it will make your story more believable.

Edit: I would like to tell you to tell the police yourself.  Being you WON'T report it, you could have stopped him from hurting small children, and didn't, you are morally somewhat responsible for them having gotten hurt.  STOP HIM!

You are right.  No one will believe he raped you if you are not mature enough to report him.

Answer 2

It is time to face life and kick ***.  You know what you need to do.  If you don't take responsibility for your life, mistakes included, you will never be able to face anything, including yourself.  PICK UP THE PHONE NOW!

Answer 3

the psychologist CAN"T tell the police. She can only report if you are a danger to yourself or others at that moment in time. You can tell her you murdered someone and she can't say anything.  

Answer 4

Look in your phone book for a community based women's center and ask to speak to a counselor, tell them your problem and ask for advice. Ask them to refer you to a legal center or ask them for advice on how to go about filing the report. Also be sure to ask them for a referral to a medical center for treatment of the STDs. You should not suffer because you are a victim of a crime.

You should tell your mother what happened to you, You need support for your suffering, I'm sure your mother will understand.  

Answer 5

First of all, God bless you and help you through this.  I am so glad that you are going to talk to a doctor about this. I would also suggest talking to an attorney. A female attorney if you are more comfortable with this. This animal will prey on other women, raping them and spreading his diseases, he must be stopped. Express your fears of jail and the probation violation to the attorney..they are there to protect you and help you with these things.  Good Luck to you and hang in there.

Answer 6

Don't kill yourself. Its not worth it. Yes I'm sure HPV and Herpes is bad. I'm sorry he did this to you but just don't kill yourself. Your worth more then the man who did this to you. Don't give him that satisfaction.

Although I don't think you lied to the police I'd still go to them you just withheld information that could have been helpful. He could have been arrested.

I've been stalked before and still am by my ex-boyfriend. And I'm only 16. It sucks but I'm about to take Kenpo classes to help defend myself. I'm always in a group of people that I fully trust and I always know when he's near me. Its a feeling I get. I can't explain it though.

If I were you I would take some kind of defensive classes. Go to the doctors for the HPV and Herpes. They can give you medication to help with the itch.

Good luck hun and I hope you get through this the right way.

Answer 7

this is serious

talk to some people you trust. If you don't have any find some

A pshycologist may be ok, but you do need to rake this piece of garbage over the coals. Talk to the police again. don't let this ruin your life. this lowest scum of the earth doesn't have a brain and he took advantage of you. Don't feel ashamed to talk to doctor's or concerned citizens either. anyone that would help. the church, schools, youth ministries. check out some resources online. Good luck and may God bless. He will revenge this soul into the pits of h**l for what he did.

Answer 8

in this situation, if u were to take him to court, u would be the victim. he took advantage of ur alcohol problem and them took advantage of you. at least thats how you should plead...