Can I ever be on good terms with my estranged daughter?

Question

My adult 35yo daughter suffered severe Post Natal Depression 3 yrs ago after the birth of 4th son. Since then she has a daughter. Her depression/anxiety has continued, but in a different way. She has been seeing HEALERS and now tells me I am the cause of all her angsiaties. She is the second of 3 daughyers & 1 son. The rest of the kids are good. I have always put my kids first. Their father died from heart attack at age 44. The kids were 10-19 years old. Two of them have Uni Degrees, the other 2 are doing well also. I have 10 Grandchildren. My daughter Annie has 5 kids. I haven't seen or spoken to any of them for 2 months since Annie abused the c**p out of me after seeing her latest healer. I don't want the conflict, but I miss the kids. Life is better for me the way things are. However it is not what I really want. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Validate her feelings and tell her that you are willing to work on it, and be honest about it. If she feels that way, she obvioulsy has a reason, and you denying it or trying to convince her otherwise will just make that gap between you worse.

Answer 2

Your story sounds alot like mine but Im from the child perspective. I am the third of 5. 3 sisters and 1 brother. My dad passed away when I was 11. He was 39 and died from a massive heart attack.

We all reacted differently. One sister in particular is very shut off from us. She has a constant wall up.

Because we are all individuals is not fair to think we will all react with emotions the same.

Maybe you should offer to go with her to a healer or other counseling. Let her know that you want to have a relationship with her and will do what you can to make it happen.

Sounds like this daughter needs more reassurance and confirmation that you are not going to leave her and that she is of value. If you go through all the steps to try and rebuild something with her and it still doesnt pan out, you can always look back and say, you did all you could for her. Then it will be her turn to reach out to you.  

Answer 3

You can't live for your children who make bad choices

You can't be with her children if you are going to be abused.  

You can only send presents to them through another relation and let them know you love them in cards.

But as long as their Mom has a s***w loose, and they will figure that out soon enough when the healers start telling her it not you anymore but them(probably when they become teenagers) you will have to bide your time.

Enjoy the rest of the family and keep the nut case in your prayers.

Answer 4

she should be in counseling.  have your other children help you see your grand children. have a get together inviting all your children and grand children. see if she attends.  tell her if she doesn't want to come at least send the children.  it will be good for them to see the family. good luck

Answer 5

oh, I'm so sorry about that! You must be heart broken.  It's just sin that makes people blame their mothers for their problems.  All psychologists and healers make them think back about times when they were young and what happened that made them this way And it's all rediculous.  She made some bad choices, and if she were anything nice, she wouldn't tell you that because you're such a horrible mother, that's why she's so screwed up in life.  No one in their right mind would tell thrir mother that.  Don't get the drama now, leave her alone and be nice when you talk to her.  Be super sweet whenever you see her, and she may change.

Answer 6

talk  to  someone