Can I ever get my parents to stop hating me?

Question

I was always the good kid. Did everything mom and dad said, but I knew that when I was 10 that if I did that I'd be more free later on in life. I kept doing it and being the good kid until I turned 17, I then met a girl and we're going on 8 months now a year and a half that we were talking though. Anyway, she got pregnant and I told my parents, figuring they would take it at face value and just offer support because of how I always was trying to be good. Well they did for the first couple of days, but then it got worse. They are only allowing me to see my girlfriend once every three days and I can't text or call her around them, so our relationship is growing shaky. And also with my parents now, I can't even make a simple joke that has nothing to do with anything or they turn it around as I'm "disrespecting" them and that I need to be more respectful if I am going to finish college and raise a baby. I can do it. I have enough faith in myself to know I can. Anyway, earlier today we were having a conversation about the Olympics and I mentioned how I planned to swim more in college to help my physical shape and my dad jumped on me and was yelling at me on how I wouldn't have time to do stupid stuff like swim and would only have time to go to school and work and never anything else and stuff that made no sense.

These are not parents I can talk to. I tried and they threatened to take everything from me and drop helping me through college. I just wanted to know if there was anything I could do to make them stop hating me or at least if there was any hope that they ever would.

Answer 1

THEY dont hate you. they are just mad at themselves  because they dont understand how come you done such thing. look i did something worse too and i am sure my parents dont hate me they are just feel sorry for me cuz my future is been destroyed for them. but not for me because if i believe in myself and that i will be able to overcome everything i iwll fine excellent.

now you can swim whatever you want while you are a parent. dont stop your dreams because of your dad. he is just mad that you can do it and he couldnt.

understand your parents , cuz maybe your grand parents treat them the same way they are doing to you while they were going through hard time.

good luck!

Answer 2

Oh boy. They don't hate you, they are just devastated. You seem to not really understand what has happened to you. Do you understand that a court will make you support that child? How are you going to insure it? Who's going to raise it? When do you think you have time to swim? You will be raising a child. You are a father now. Your parents can't support your dreams when you destroyed them.

For a smart boy, how come you had no clue where babies came from and how to keep that from happening? If you were my son, I'd be in shock too. Being a good kid doesn't count for anything when you s***w up this bad.

I suggest strongly that you go to your parents and ask them to forgive you and to help you. You need it.

You are now responsible for another human being's life. You have no clue how you are going to do it. You can't even seem to cope with your parents disappointment, how are you going to raise a child?

Answer 3

I wonder if everyone just needs a cooling off period.  Can you ask your girlfriend to respect your parents limited contact idea for a month or two just to buy a little time.  I don't hear a real history of unresonableness, just a strong reaction to some tough circumstances.  Good Luck and God bless.

Edit

We parents truely love our children.  Soemtimes things get a bit outside of our comfort zone and we get scared.  That is when we are likely to make some serious mistakes.  Time usually heals.  They only want what is best for you and everyone concerned, but the have no life lessons on how to cope when things get outside the box.  I know.  I have six children and I have made plenty of mistakes.  I do love all my children even when some really crazy thing happen.  I hope they love me enough to trust me.

Answer 4

They are just acting out of fear.  They are afraid for you, that's all.  Just do your best.  And good luck.