Can I get the pros and cons of international adoption? Pros and cons of foster to adopt?

Question

I'm trying to get info to determine how my husband and I will adopt in the future. I would prefer here in the US but am not interested anymore in infant adoption through an agency. I want info on international but I don't want an unethical country that coerces babies from their mother to make a huge profit. Is there a country that really needs people? If you are completely against international, please tell me why.

I also want information on foster to adopt programs. Pros and cons.

Answer 1

There is pain in every adoption international or not, when a child is separated from his or her mother.  It isn't any easier for a woman in another country to part with her child than it is for a USA mother.  

Why are you not interested in infant adoption through and agency?

Some cons I've heard for international adoption include, that a lot of times the birth family is living in extreme poverty, and can easily be fed a story of how  sending her child to America, as a dream life for her child.  So parents who normally would have raised their child, are placing them for adoption after hearing about what great opportunities the US has for their child.   There are also concerns about child selling, child stealing, coercion, all because foreign adoptions can create bring in a lot of money.  You will find people who are very negative about international adoptions too.    International adoptions can be much more expensive than domestic adoptions too, depending on the program and traveling fees.

Plus you have to deal with two countries laws that must be followed and are always changing.  There is also the thought that you are stripping the child of it's language, culture, and heritage.  You can never give the child the same exposure they would have if they grew up in their country.  The child will always be a stranger to his homeland.

Answer 2

Here's UNICEF's position on IA:

http://www.unicef.org/media/media_41918....

Current Newsweek article on IA:

http://www.newsweek.com/id/74385

Blog entry on Guatemala, and a valuable blog from women who are APs who have done a lot of research on IA:

http://fleasbiting.blogspot.com/2007/03/...

What about having your own?

Answer 3

International adoption:

Pro: Better chances of getting a baby than in the US. My aunt has a little girl adopted at age 1 from Ethiopia, and another from China. Both beautiful, healthy girls.

Con: You may not get a child at all. The regulations are constantly changing, and who knows if it will be in your favor? My aunt has also been trying to adopt a girl from Sierra Leone for 5 years and the government keeps changing the regulations so it may never go through.

Foster to adopt in the US:

Pro: Need! There are thousands upon thousands of kids in the system who desperately need a safe loving environment.

Con: You have to be willing to deal with intense needs. I'm working in foster care now, and most of the kids have quite a few behavioral problems, which is no surprise considering the large amount of abuse and neglect they have experienced. You can't expect them to be grateful for the home and safety you have provided, and there is a lot you can never fix. That said, you could also make the biggest difference possible in a life and have a wonderful experience, but you never know what you are going to get.

Answer 4

I have adopted internationally three times (from China), and at one time I felt that this was the best way to go.  The guidelines for adoptive parents were flexible (i.e. single parents and older parents could adopt), there was no birth parent involvement, and an international adoption was usually faster and less expensive than a domestic adoption.

Due to unethical practices in foreign countries, the situation has drastically changed over the last few years.  Some countries such as Cambodia have shut down entirely to international adoption because of illicit child-trafficking.   There have been increases to immigration and in-country fees, so international adoption has now become a much more expensive endeavor.   It has also become a much more lengthy process....people are now waiting for over two years to get referral of a healthy infant from China, and the wait is expected to get longer.  China has also tightened its guidelines for adoptive parents.  Singles can no longer adopt there, nor can those who are significantly overweight, have low net worth, or on various medications.

As far as domestic adoption is concerned, the advantages are that you can get a more complete health history on your child, and that you are indeed helping a child in your own country.  However, domestic adoption is not a piece of cake either.  If you want a healthy Caucasian newborn, be prepared to wait for a LONG, LONG time to be matched with a birthmother.  If you're not comfortable with open adoption (an ongoing relationship with the birth family) you may not get chosen by a birthmother.  If you want to adopt a child from the foster care system, the cost is minimal and there is no wait.  However, be aware that many of these children have come from extremely high risk, abusive environments, and may have significant health issues, both physical and mental.

Answer 5

No the pros are that its cheap and easier.

Weight it with the cons: Madonna wanna be.

No one really has started this since celebs done it.

You need to get of ur backside and look around your own country and then say that its perfect. And after the recent news of us not wanting to help global warming...Anyway look around and you'll see the country has lots of kids that need a home.

Answer 6

If you prefer adoption in the US the best option is from the foster care system.

The Pro: There are currently over 100,000 children available for adoption through foster care.

The con:  Many of these children are in the system because of abuse and/or neglect and will have special needs.

If you are prepared to handle those needs then this would be a good option.

Good luck with your decision.

Answer 7

If having a biological child is not important to you and your husband I’d say adopt. There are so many that need to be adopted.

Well international is probably going to be more costly. However your right many of the children have already been surrender or abandoned  and are living in orphanages that aren’t always in the best condition.  Your family could learn about a new culture and their customs which imo would enrich anyone’s lives.

Foster to adopt – well adoption here is not guarantee even though you will be placed with a child that will likely be available for adoption but you could get attached and then the baby/child turns out that it will not be up for adoption. There are the issues that some foskids have wether they have been abused previously or they just gotten use to only being able to depend on themselves. The positive is you’re getting a child or even children out of the system and giving them a home and family.  

Take in mind that everything has negative associations and positive associations. Infants are placed for adoption and that is not going to cease. Perhaps you could look into getting a dropped off baby. Its where a birthmother leaves (surrenders) her baby at a fire station or hospital no questions asked.

Answer 8

Foster to Adopt

Pros the children are right here in this country.  

Con: you are less likely to have a baby (if that is what you want)

Con:  you may foster a child get attached then the birth mother completes her program and goes home worst yet   you know she is not going to be as good as a mother as you are

Con the children have been removed for abuse or neglect and may act out more than other kids

Pro if you  do adopt through foster care they offer supports (therapy etc) free of charge for the children

Pro you pay almost nothing for foster to adopt

Pro  You can see if the child is a good match for your family before you say yes I will adopt

Adoption from foster care  system without fostering first

Same pros as above without the con of getting attached you only see children that have no chance of going back with their parents

Pro at least in my state you have a series of visits with the child to see if it is a good match

International

Pro you are more likely to get a baby and or a toddler

Con expensive

Pro can be cheaper than a private adoption

Pro you are less likely to have interference from birth parents after the adoption

Pro you can get a child quicker than going through private or foster care

With all of the above said my wife and I are doing foster to adopt because we don't have the money for international or private.  We have one bio kid and want one more to complete our family  and it is the best choice for us.  You need to make the best choice for you

Answer 9

International adoption worries me greatly.

There have been so many stories about children being put up for adoption that still have family members that could care for them.

Adopting them and taking them to the US (or other western countries) means that they not only lose their family - but they also lose their language, their country, their culture.

Sure many would say that they'll have a 'better' life in the US - but who are we to say such a thing. Why are we - in the western world 'better' than anyone else?? It just crosses a really blurred line.

UNICEF writes that inter country adoption should ONLY happen if there is no other choice for the child. But how much money has been paid under the table - and what is really the truth??

I also read many IA blogs (international adoptees) - and so many struggle with many more issues than I do - and that's saying a lot!!

There are literally thousands of kids in foster care that need loving families - NOW.

I think that all adoptees carry some 'damage' - from the act of being separated from their mother's and other family.

International adoptees suffer more 'damage' from loss of country etc.

If the child then suffered some kind of abuse - then the child would be even more 'damaged' - on top of all those things.

Ultimately - there are so many children that need love - and a stable home. And if they do find families that love them for them - not try to make them something they are not - and acknowledge fully where they have come from/their past - they will be far better off.

You have to look in your heart and see how much you're willing  to take on.

With kids from foster care - there may be many early problems to iron out - depending on what the child has been through - but the rewards would be great in the end - for knowing that you were doing the very best for a child that really needed it.

Oh - one other point - at least if the child was from foster care - you might have a better chance of the child being able to have some knowledge of their first family - and hopefully some kind of contact. For the child - an adoptive parent such as yourself - who understands the need of adoptees - this would be a great benefit for the child.

Sorry - I'm rambling today - thoughts are all off the top of my head. I hope I've helped a little.

Here is a blog from an adoptive parent - Margie - which could be very helpful. She adopted two children from Korea - and is now very much involved with ethics in adoption - a lovely lady - and a great read -

http://thirdmom.blogspot.com/

She also has a HUGE link page you could scan.

Here is a link to Larry's blog - he was a child given up for adoption - but ended up in foster care his whole life - and aged out when he was old enough -

http://prairieguy.wordpress.com/

He would be a great resource of foster care knowledge.

And here are links to adoptee blogs - many of whom are Internationl adoptees & as well as domestic -

http://www.adultadoptees.org/forum/index...

I really appreciate - on behalf of many adoptees - your openness and your willingness to learn. It's refreshing.

Thankyou.

Answer 10

I'm against international adoption only because I feel we have enough children in the United States that need to be adopted.

I'm all for helping anyone, any country, or any child.  However instead of the US providing aid to so many countries when here at home we have homeless people, people who can't pay for the outrageous gas prices, people who can't heat their homes etc we should take care of home first.

Same applies to children.  Why wouldn't we take care of the children here who are waiting/needing to be adopted.  What is so special about adopting internationally?  It's almost turned into a fad.  It's almost a status symbol to adopt an international child.  

I just believe we should take care of home first, then worry about international interests.  

Secondly when adopting internationally you really don't know what's going on in the back end.  Regardless of how legit things seem they could be running a baby making factory just to get us guillable Americans to adopt a child so we can pay them big American dollars.

It's not fair to children in the US that need to be adpoted.

I don't believe it's as safe as US adoption.

And I almost feel as though you're being a traitor to your country by not adopting a child here in the US first.  

Buying a Honda is one thing, but adopting a child is another thing entierely.  

Adopting a child in the US DIRECTLY affects you as a US citizen.  That child could potentially directly impact social security, healthcare, and more.  

That's one less child supported by the state.

That's one less child who may become a criminal because he/she had a horrible foster care upbringing or must live in halfway houses for the rest of their lives.

There are so many factors.  Adopting a US child directly impacts where we live the US.

Regardless of your decision, a decision to adopt any child is a wonderful one be it in the US or overseas.  Don't let anyone tell you any differently.