Can I have a good career without this bs?

Question

I'm in college and it's like the 13th grade. I have social anxiety and all of this petty group work and mandatory participation is a crock. The kids who don't read the material get off easy by stroking the professor's ego and gaining 20% of their grade from "participation". Even worse is that when they put us into groups, I end up with a crappy grade because no one takes it seriously.

Am I just screwed in life? I've tried several meds and many psychologists, but I still feel like I'm going to faint every time I'm called on. I get the feeling I'm going to be rotting on disability in a few years. Why can't I just learn the material and take exams? Why can't I just learn and not have to make everything a social, ego-stroking activity? What are my options? Thanks.

Answer 1

Unfortunately, I would be surprised to hear of any jobs that required no interaction with other people, unless you are able to get a plot of land and subsist on it, growing your own food, and such, you're going to have to beat these feelings.  While the group work and participation stuff is ridiculous... so is life... jobs can be ridiculous at times, and you learn a lot from observing how other people work.

You can have a good career without college, but you will most likely need to work a lot harder.  You could try to ease yourself into this kind of contact/communication by actively raising your hand to answer questions when you are confident in the answer, so that it's not always about being on the defensive, getting called on when you don't.  You don't need to ego-stroke, but you do need to learn to respect other people and communicate with them.

You can get a job without college, but you may very well be starting off in retail, dealing with even more ridiculous people and situations like this, and getting paid poorly to do it.  OR you can work hard and do manual labor, learn a trade like becoming an electrician.  No matter what you do, if you are going to work for someone else, you are going to have to deal with these situations.

Answer 2

I know how you feel. I had really bad social anxiety back and high school and it made me fail my freshman year because of the fear. Have you tried cognitive therapy? Another way to boost your self confidence is to practice speeches in front of family and just work on it until you feel confident enough to stand up in class. You have the will power! I know it's hard, but I did it and It worked fairly well for me. I even graduated with good grades. I wish you all the best of luck!!

Answer 3

I know how you feel. Just ignore everyone else. EVERY MAN (or girl) FOR THEMSELVES!!!!!. do what u gotta do for yourself. everyone else can suck it!

Answer 4

Different professors, and often different schools, have different emphases for their curricula.  If groupwork isn't your thing, and you have strong social anxiety, then I can definitely understand how a classroom environment can be uncomfortable.  If you prefer to work independently without the social interaction, maybe online programs would be a better environment for you.  Just an idea.  Remember, different schools have different cultures, so if you're not happy with the culture of the school you're attending, you could always transfer elsewhere.  Or, just try to find large lecture classes and online classes at your school, so that you can just do your thing and make your grades, without anyone else having an impact upon it.