Can I hear from teenage adoptees? I am a natural mother and I really miss my daughter. She is 14.?

Question

Can I hear from teenage adoptees? I am a natural mother and I really miss my daughter. She is 14.?

Answer 1

I am not a teen however I am adopted.  I am sorry to hear of your pain and can only imagine how it feels.  I would suggest if you are going to try and contact the child you need to go through the adoptive parents. She is still underage and she is still under their care.  14 is a confusing age and I know if someone contacted me out of the blue at that age I would have greatly resented that.  Not everyone is the same, however, if you are wanting to reunite the adoptive parents can help with the process so you can know her.  I would also look up the laws; it is possible there is a law barring you from contacting her till she is a legal adult.  I would also recommend trying to find a support group for women who have given there child up for adoption.  I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 2

Sorry I'm not a teen, but I was once.

My real parents found me when I was 15 and I moved in with them.

Are you in contact with her and/or her paper family? If not, maybe you can lay the gound work now, and she can move in with you when she is 16 and can legally make that decision for herself. My adopters let me go because they knew I would be turning 16 in a few months and there was nothing that could stop me.

Good luck!

Answer 3

wow.  when i was 14, i was obsessed with my natural mother.  i missed her something awful.

i would sit in bed and tape record "letters" to her.  every woman i looked at was possibly her.  

i needed her.   i missed her.  

i finally found her.

Answer 4

What do you want to hear? I'm 20 so I remember what I was like at 14: angry and confused. I wanted to know why my biological parents had left me and if I was really that bad.

I was angry with them, with my adoptive parents, with basically everyone and everything.

Being 14 sucked.

Other adoptees I knew around that age were similar, except my brother who says he didn't care about his bio parents, but was still a difficult teenager, though maybe for different reasons.

At that age, I wanted to meet my bio parents so badly, hence why I support open adoptions now. But I don't know if it would have been a good time because I was already too emotional & reunions are incredibly emotional. If I'd been in a open adoption, hopefully I wouldn't have felt that anger (or at least it would be reduced, hopefully) because I would have been able to ask why I was abandoned.

But I can't change my adoption & I'm guessing your daughter's in a closed one too. I don't know what you want to hear, but I thought my bio mum would be able to answer every question (even the ones I didn't know I had) & be the perfect mum that my adoptive mum couldn't be. I didn't think I'd meet a stranger, who was only human.

Hope this helps x

Answer 5

i am 15 years old and i am adopted from croatia. i never actually knew my mother all i know is that she gave me up because she wanted me to have a better life that she couldnt provide for me. for the longest time, i never really cared that i was adopted; i never thought about it or brought it up. but then when i turned 13 i started to wonder where my real family was and if they ever though about me. i look in the mirror ALL the time because i try and imagine what traits i have from my biological family. i searched all over the internet for them and i even found my adoption papers which gave me more information on them. i did this behind my parents back because i feel uncomfortable talking to them about it. i know that they are very supportive but for some reason i cant bring myself to talk about it. so i pretty much hide and keep my feelings about the whole situation to myself. i feel like a part of me is missing and i know that someday i will meet my mother. no one knows how much hurt i've been through trying to hide these feelings(i know its my own fault for not sharing them but honestly NO ONE really cares about my problems).

sorry this is so long i tried to keep it short.

i hope that someday you'll meet your daughter again.

if i was you, i would do everything i could to find her. if you miss her that much search for her because she could be feeling the same way I do... lonely and curious.

hope this helps and if you have any other questions just email me =]