Can I not have a maid of honor at my wedding?

Question

I am getting married next year and I am freaking out about picking a maid of honor. My closest friend is moving to Florida in two months and she is the only one that I would want to be it. She doesn't have the time to be my maid of honor, so I am not sure what to do. I am not close to my sister at all and I don't really have any close friends. Do I have to have one in my wedding since my fiance has already chosen his best man? Please help! my fiance is getting mad at me b/c I haven't chosen yet.

Answer 1

Tell him to give you time...you could still have your friend that's moving to Florida be your Maid of Honor! If she's that special to you, she can simply be there for you on your special day.  

Answer 2

You still have plenty of time to choose someone.  Personally, I would go with the sister because she's family.  Even though you might not be close now, that's not to say you won't be close in 2, 5 or 10 years.  I never imagined anyone being my MOH outside of my sister.  But that's my family.  As for your friend, I'm not sure how much time she needs to devote to your wedding.  All she really needs to do is order a dress & be there the day of the wedding.  It would seriously bother me if my closest friend couldn't commit to that.  (unless there are really other factors outside of time)

Answer 3

Hey, you and I have nearly the same name!  (I'm Alana!)  Anyway, you don't need to have a MOH at all- the best man doesn't necessarily have to have a counterpart, since at most weddings he and the groom are already standing at the altar when the bride makes her big entrance anyway.  Or do you have a good male friend?  Many brides are choosing "men of honor" instead of maids of honor these days.  Are you close to your mom at all?  I have selected my mom as my MOH because she is the closest person to me in the whole world, and the only one I feel truly deserves the title.  Maybe your mom could serve as your MOH too, if you feel the same way.  And if not, just give it to your sis by default.  She is family, after all...

Answer 4

You dont HAVE to have anything.  There are no laws governing marriage ceremonies.

Answer 5

No, you certainly don't have to. Just have all bridesmaids. You'll still have to choose what order they'll stand in, but you don't need to hand out special titles.

I realize that this wasn't the question you were asking, but it concerns me a bit that your fiance would get mad at you for not having chosen a maid of honor. If he gets angry over something this trivial, what's going to happen when a real problem arises?

Answer 6

So have your friend moving to FL be your MOH.  

There are no rules dictating that she HAS to live a certain distance away, or even do anything regarding your wedding.  You could just say your only requirement for her is to stand by you in your wedding as MOH, no showers or anything required!

My MOH (and other bridesmaids) live over 2 1/2 hours away from me, and about 8 hours from the wedding site, and we still pulled it off.  Good luck in your decision.

Answer 7

Dont let your bf rush you. You still have time to decide.

Answer 8

It's your wedding too. You dont HAVE TO have, no. See if he will ask his man's woman to be your maid of honour. Thats one thing you can do. & The other is, Not have one. The other guy just will be right there already instead of walking down with the maid of honour, he will be right there with the Groom. : ) Many things can accomplish what you want. You could have the wedding earlier so she can be there too. You can pay her way back up to be in it. You can put guilt on her to show up. LOL J K.... What ever YOU decide should be ok with the Groom.

Hope this helps?

Answer 9

At the barest minimum, you need 2 people to stand as witnesses and sign the marriage certificate. After that, you can go as elaborate or simple as you want depending on your budget and the presumed budget of the potential attendants (for traditional attendant duties like paying for their own dresses, etc, and planning/organizing/paying for bachelor parties, bridal showers etc if there will be one)/

Beyond that, attendants tend to be there for you, MOH especially, as a support system,  before and during/day of, to help you look for dresses, flowers, be a sounding board, etc. All of these things of course are easily tailored to suit your wedding and your needs. If she lives out of town, she obviously can't spend the time or money back and forth organizing parties and looking at dresses with you. So you said she doesn't have time, doesthat mean she's not coming to the wedding at all? If she's coming to the wedding, you can just make her your MOH to stand next to you and sign as a witness. And then get some other friends to help with the other things, like throwing your bridal shower - this is something that falls into the hands of friends, cousins, bridesmaids, aunts, etc.

If you're looking for more than just a witness type role,  then you want someone who you trust will have the time and money and commitment to dedicate to the duties that you set out for them (barring not being demanding, there are lists of roles that various attendants play that you can look at and tailor to your needs and share this with whomever you talk to so they know what is involved if they decide to say yes).

If you're not close to your sister and you want more than just a witness, then it's hard to really judge if she'll come through for you on all these things. If it's just a witness role and your  best friend won't be at the wedding in the first place, then pick your sister.

As for not having any close friends beyond the one who is moving, I would start working on some friendships where you live. My best friend  for the past 20 years lives out of town- well I moved but she will never not be my best friend in the world. But I have various degrees of friends here and one other close friend who lives in town, because I think that's important - not just to do the long distance thing.

Good luck! And tell your fiance to chill out. It's just an MOH it's not some huge life altering decision. (Agree with previous poster, on red flag him getting angry on something small, what about bigger more important issues?)

  

Answer 10

No, you don't have to have a maid of honour if you choose not to. I am getting married in 12 weeks and I'm not having a maid of honor. Don't be pushed into it. A maid of honour really has no formal 'responsibility' on the day anyway. We are having a best man, a groomsman and 2 bridesmaids. The best man will still be able to partner up with one of the girls. Don't stress! Hope this helps.

Answer 11

If your best friend is moving to Florida, will she still attend your wedding?  She could still be your maid of honor - you two could just agree that you just want her to stand up with you that day since she's your closest friend.  My sister will be my matron of honor and since she's pregnant with her first children (twin girls!), she's busy getting ready for their arrival, so it's all on me.  Still, I can't think of anyone I'd rather have stand up for me (if she can still stand by then!) than my sister.  :)

Answer 12

sure, I've even been to a wedding, who the brides maid of honor was a guy, not a g*y guy either.

Answer 13

You don't need one. You don't need any ladies in waiting if you don't want to. That's totally up to you.

Answer 14

I was married in June and didn't have a maid of honor.  I had a Bride's Posse.  My best girlfriends and sisters were all coming from out of town.  This way everyone helped out doing what they did best, rather than one person feeling like they needed to fill this stressful role of maid of honor.  Don't feel like you need or are required to put someone in this role.   Just look toward your wedding and those tasks that are typically done by a maid of honor.  Some of these things you might want to do yourself and others you can find friends to help you with.  Basically just spread the love!

Answer 15

I didn't have one.  I only had two attendants, my two sisters, and they both lived out of town.  They were both "maid of honor".  You have to pick someone to stand next to you at the ceremony but as for the other "maid of honor duties", there really isn't anything official.  Some of my friends offered to throw me showers and help with the wedding and none of them were even bridesmaids.

Answer 16

My husband had a best man, but I did not have a maid of honour.  There were absolutely no problems with this.

I chose my three closest friends as bridesmaids, he had three friends as groomsmen and his brother was best man.  

I asked the friend that I've known longest to be my witness.  Other than that there were no issues. Just tell your fiance that you're just going to have bridesmaids instead but he can have a best man.

Answer 17

You don't have to have attendants if you don't want to, but I'm a little bothered when you say that you don't have close friends.  I was a recycled bridesmaid to an ex-high school friend (should've said no, btw) who lost all her college friends when she started spending 24/7 with her boyfriend/later fiancé.  Maybe you need to cultivate some friendships?

Anyway, what about a guy friend or brother as your attendant?  Nothing says it has to be a chick anyway.  It's your d**n wedding, if you want to do it, who cares what people think?  And, newsflash, no one really cares about that stuff anyway.  No ones going to "talk" because you don't have attendants.  I went to a wedding this year where there were none and it was simple and lovely and the most fun wedding I've been to.  And no one had to rent a tux or buy an ugly dress, either. :)