Can I please have your OPINION??!!! Thanks! =]

Question

To put it simply

Can you please read my poem

Read it please

I’d like to know what you think

It’ll put me at ease

The poet runs around in the street everyday

Looking for a person to read his poems the right way

For he never knows if it is good or bad

He wants to know so he can be happy, not mad

For he thinks his poetry is useless

Because he is so new to this

The words come so swiftly

Through the pen to his paper

It brings him such joy to know he can savor

These beautiful memories in his mind so intense

When he writes he thinks it does not make sense

The poet was happy until one day

When he came across a man who would not read his poem either way

Can you please read my poem

Read it please

I’d like to know what you think

It’ll put me at ease

The man responded so confidently with no sympathy

I will not read this poem

Just to put it simply

You should not search through others for true happiness with your poems

For you are a poet and everyone knows it

Whether they make someone happy or sad

Or they think your mad

It should not matter for you are a poet

Who no matter what should be proud

For your create wonderful pieces of work

No matter what you may say

But I shall read your poem if it pleases you in such a way

The poet handed the man his crumpled piece of paper

He looked at the shriveled up work and made a sigh

Wondering why the poet cared about one mans opinion

For he was nothing but a man, with a mind and a heart

He read the poem and simply replied

It’s a good start

Work on your grammar and spelling

It’s a good story your telling

It is nice

But remember what I said young man

Poetry is here in the mind

That’s where it starts

And it should end here

Right in your heart

The poet nodded agreeing with every word

And asked the man for his name

Again the man said with a simple reply

I am nothing but a man with a heart and a brain

What does it matter if I read your poems the right way

For I am just a man with a heart and a brain

If you want to know the truth about your poems

So you can be happy, not mad

I think that because they make you glad

I will not give you an answer

For young man

If your poetry is all you’ve got

Then you will not be forgotten in my eyes

For I see that there is a true poet within you

And that is what you don’t know

So if you are happy or sad

Every one knows

Because your poetry tells us

So what should it matter what I say to you

For I am only a man with a heart and a brain

Just like you my boy

Just a few feet taller

Answer 1

its great

Answer 2

You have clever insight into the soul of a poet.  Your poem is positive in its humor.  I also like the rhythmic flow which makes it fun to read.  I hope you get published someday.  You have talent.

Answer 3

i think it's great!!!!

Answer 4

nice little story poem but I will not judge you either.

when all things are considered our thoughts, words and person is all that we really have, Everything else is gravy.

When everything else is gone... We are alone with only our own sense of who and what we are. The poet is within.

Answer 5

Its really great! I like that u made it funny with the last line too!! I just think that u made it a bit repetitive. sry if i spelled that wrong.) but i think u deserve a thumbs n that! its wonderful!

Answer 6

Well, it's not really my style?

Sorry, I don't like it :S.

Answer 7

What I like about your poem is the story it tells of the boy seeking acceptance and compliments for his poetry, but finding the man's advice. However, I think it could be trimmed down, not just in how long it is but in the actual words used. Your point can be made more efficiently if you used more concise words. The poem just rambles on sloppily like one really long run on sentence. You use the same words too often. Your rhyming has no definite pattern; you hve two lines rhyme, and then you have one line that doesn't rhyme with anything. Also, the second and third stanzas contradict each other; you say the poet is so happy to be able to write down his memories and his thoughts, but he thinks they don't make sense and he needs someone to like them, besides himself.



I think you should keep the general idea, just edit and proofread. Fix grammar and punctuation mistakes. Choose a rhyming sequence to use throughout the poem. Find better adjectives than 'happy,' 'mad.' and 'sad.'

Maybe you could make it so that the poet is happy writing poetry and that everyone wants to read what he writes and compliment him. Then one day that man he finds refuses to read them and the poet thinks maybe it's because he really isn't that good at all.

Hope that helps.