Can I possibly win this wager?

Question

So, April has begun which means it's wagering season at the Raffles Club.

I have been challenged to hop from Tunbridge in Kent to Oxford city centre in no more than a month, with a 20lb goose on my back. To prove that I am following the route, I must collect tokens from various inns along the way, where the landlords are under strict instructions to only give me the tokens once I have drunk ten pints of ale.

If I am successful, I win a ham. If I lose, I have to do it again, and allow the members to see my mistress in the nude. What are my chances, and can anyone suggest some useful techniques?

Answer 1

If these are the only rules....easy....you can buy a RV, tie the goose to your back and hop while your driver drives your destinations.... the drinking part should be rather easy also, just pretend (you have a good imagination) that it is gin that you are consuming.

Have your nude mistress on the RV....make her hop around too.

Answer 2

Your  reward should be more than the ham...perhaps cook the goose on your back have dinner with your mistress  and forget the ham and the challenge...

Answer 3

If you take part and follow the rules, you're a winner, even if you lose... because it's not the winning, or the losing, it's the taking part...

Do your best sir, we'll be there to cheer you along. If it's 98 miles, you should be able to make the course in a couple of weeks if you hop at a steady rate of four miles an hour for only two hours a day. Consider it to be a constitutional- and think of the ham ; )

Incidentally- mistress, singular?

Further incidental- is the 20lb goose living or dead? If living, it will ease the course somewhat to free her wings and let her flap as you hop, thus creating thrust.

Play up, play up, and play the game!

Answer 4

Hoo, old boy, we are looking forward to such a ravishing sight as seeing your latest mistress in her birthday suit! Which one was she again?

Answer 5

If your girl is fit then do it so everyone can see her, If she is ugly save everyone the nightmares and backout now.

Answer 6

you cheating on your boyfriend with a chick????

Answer 7

AHA!...They have challenged the Ingenuity of your intellect, Sir! Of course, the answer is as plain as the nose on your face....I see nothing in the wording of the wager that says you have to be hopping whilst on the ground, thereby using Hopping as your means of getting from point "A" to point "B".

Here is what you shall do to astound your fellow Japers and win your bet!:

have your carpenter build a Dias of wood twelve feet square with the joists long enough to protude five feet out from the sides. Fetch up a good set of travaling clothes, cloak and umbrella and a stout chest to keep them in; have the carpenter secure the chest to the rear of the Dias. This done, you now only need fetch up 12 burly fellows from the village, an orphan whose height reaches your shoulders and the goose.

You shall depart in the middle of the night in order to keep the method of your Genius secret: have the burly fellows hoist the Dias apon thier shoulder and you and the orphan shall mount it at the block by the rear gate. The goose ought be secured to you by means of a comfortably fashioned pack and be able to have its neck and head free, so as to see the sights. To relieve you of the weight, the Orphan will hoist it up just enough to have it still apon your back but not create a strain apon your shoulders! Since the wager has not dictated that you must hoponly on one foot, you shall then proceed to hop from your left foot to your right; I sugguest imitating the gait of a fine Palfrey which shall be less strenuous apon your calves as time passes. Now have the burly fellows set off at a steady pace and proceed to the first inn and have your ten pints. When you have to relieve yourself, you can simply turn 'round and have a p**s off the back of your transport! If  the weather should become inclement, you have the chest with it's provisions to ward off  the weather. If your burly fellows do not slack-leg thier duty and dodge on at a good clip, you ought achieve Kent in just over two weeks! Of course, say NOTHING of the fact that it was I who gave you this plan~ take all the credit for yourself! I Insist! It shall be most rewarding to see all those Shylock fellows loose the thousands of pounds they are sure to wager against you! I shall put up 1000 in your favor, sir, and Hedge i n with the Other Side to drive up the odds...It may be possible to drive one or two of those jacklegged Hacks who so despise you into the poorhouse!

Answer 8

Sure, you can do it

Answer 9

no give in now

Answer 10

thats stupid

Answer 11

Yes quite possible a month is a long time Sir , you will only have to hop 3 miles a day 1 and half miles on each leg.

The goose will also be dehydrating on your journey thus easing your burden , and having the advantage of being well hung on the completion of your task.

10 pints of ale for a chap of your disposition will only give you added vigour.

I can only say you are looking forward to a ham and goose pie.

good luck

Answer 12

Heck, if I had a 20 pound goose on my back, I'd go home and have roast goose later that night. I wouldn't waste time collecting tokens.

I'll bet the Raffles Club members have already seen your mistress in the nude. She's a mistress after all -- that's what she does.

Answer 13

old chap you'll not win..  and you will be the laughing stock of the raffles and the mistress might not be your mistress for much longer. is it worth the risk? and no you won't make it.

Answer 14

If you must do this, then try the following:

Only go into an inn at the end of each day's hop.  That way if you get drunk with ale then it won't matter as you'd be off to bed with your token newly acquired anyway.  I think we agreed you need only have 30 or so tokens.  So you need only go into a pub once a day, and it makes more sense to go in at the end of the day rather than half way through!

I would say however that your chances are pretty good, unless you fall and break something, or worse the goose falls apart after a few weeks on the road.

Answer 15

The pure stench of the rotting goose which shall be tethered to your hindquarters would propose more than enough motivation to complete the task by the required timeline.  Furthermore, the pints of ale along the way will fuel the body allowing for speedy coverage of olympic proportions.

Gut the Goose and stuff it then place it on your head for arrow-dynamic performance as you jog from location to location.  If you still anticipate failure, precharge those in an attempt to make some extra monetary earnings when they get a glimpse of one of your mistresses.

Answer 16

back out now you're on to a looser