Can I prove her unfit?

Question

I have a four year old daughter who lives with her mother. Her mother lives in a housing development also known as "Projects". Her mother has two more kids and a husband. All of the children have different fathers. However recently I have been noticing that my daughter has problems at home, as well as her older brother. I am now certain that this is because her mother and step-father have now had their own child and created a "happy family" while the other two kids are getting pushed away. My daughter on several occasions has confided in my fiancee as well as her grandmother that her step-father flicks cigarettes at her brother as well that he put his hands around his throat. This coming from a four year old does not seem to be made up, she will also tell of how she is only getting fed once a day, sometimes its cereal sometimes its popcorn. When I question her mother about it she says "she is just a kid they make stuff up" but as a kid I was making up talking stuffed animals not abuse and neglect, especially that young. I have heard from many of her neighbors that there is alot of comotion coming from the house when the step-father gets drinking. Alot of the drama seems to be coming from the step-father but being that the mother is not paying attention to realize what is going on could she be at fault as well? In all honesty I can financially support my daugther better than her mother, and would take her out of the enviroment that she is in. I am not on welfare, I have a steady job, I am willing to do whatever it takes. Do I stand a chance?

Answer 1

well its like this i just got threw helping one of my friends get his little boy. You are going to have to have proof i got all of my information off of my space his ex wife had a myspace and had pictures of her and her new husband on there living in an older woman's house with beer cans and all kinds of stuff you wouldn't even believe. but anyways if you pick her up from there house or take her home or what ever go in with your phone or even a camera and try and look around and get pics of the way they are living even with the way laws are now if her husband is smoking in the house with her you can get her if you just catch him with it in there and you little girl in there to that's all it would take to show that she is not takin care of her and that you don't want her around that. first thing first get a lawyer

Answer 2

You do, but you need some backup. Anyone can say anything. What you're describing, the physical abuse, should be reported to child protective services. They're not your own special detective agency, and they don't concern themselves with what might be best, just what is dangerous. What they can do is interview the kids without the adults around, maybe even without the adults knowing about it until they've done it. They won't jerk the kids out and pass them to you unless they actually find them endangered. But they do write reports, and they do stay with the case for a while. That gives you some documentation by an independent third party. When you get you attorney (your other backup) into action, he can draw on the CPS results. As a parent, you will be able to get the finished report. You will also be interviewed.. It's a lawyer job to settle custody.  

Answer 3

First of all ignore "honeys" answer.  You didn't create this situation of course not.  I work for social services in my state, you need to call child protective services, or report to the hotline.  Every state has a hotline, you need to call in - and you can remain anonymous, and give them the information that your child has told you and your significant other.  That way there will be a paper trail in the system that will assist you when you need to go back to court and fight for custody.  Good luck.  Your children are worth it and you have to fight for them.

Answer 4

YOU are the reason your child ended up in that environment to begin with and now, all of a sudden, you are opening your mouth of concern? It takes TWO to tango. Your fiance should stay out of what is none of her business.  

Answer 5

you need a lawyer hon; you don't have to prove her unfit to prove you would be a better parent....hang in there and fight for your daughter...hats off to you

Answer 6

You need a lawyer and be prepared for this to cost you some serious money.  Your kid is worth all the time & money in the world.

Some court systems favor the mother, others do not.

Find a good attorney that takes fathers rights seriously.  Yes, you stand a good chance of getting at least shared parenting if not full custody.

Good luck!

Answer 7

I think that if it is you who has doubts then you have to take the steps to get your daughter, but if at any time you fiance has started to plant doubts in your mind then i would back off for just a bit longer, if you really want to put your daughter first i would suggest that you and your ex talk even if it is over the phone without the accusations at hand, tell your ex that you truly want her to be happy because when she is happy your daughter is happy and their for you want her to know that when she needs you to stay with your daughter that you are ale to take care of her, don't bring animosity were it shouldn't be for the sake of your precious little girl.

Hope this helps a little

Answer 8

A 4yr old wouldn't make up stories about violence and neglect if it wasn't treue.  She wouldn't even know about them unless she has seen them, so I would believe her; always believe your child.  Call the cops or CPS and have them pay a visit to your house.  Or better yet, when you have visits (if you get them alone) go to the police station and have her tell the story.  If they can prove this abuse you have no reason to worry about not getting full custody.  I just wish her brother could be taken out of that environment as well.  Well he can, but I don't know if he has family to take him, but I hope so.