Can I prove my wife unfit in a child custody battle?

Question

She has been taking meds for depression for along time. She also attempted suicide years back before I met her. She also gave up 2 kids for adoption back when she was younger. All of this stuff I found out after I married her. She plans on moving in with her brother also instead of having a place of her own. I own my own home with my son having his own room. I also make about $45,000 a year vs. her not even having a job yet. She plans on moving to Texas while I still plan on living in Iowa. Is this enough for me to attempt to fight for child custody or am I fighting a losing battle here. I love my son and can't think of living without him. Thanks in advance, Brian

Answer 1

just take her to court and stop her form leaving the state for the moment and  i am  very sure that the court will see right through her and  give you the kids ..  

just  take some sort of action against her ..  

Answer 2

It's always worth it to fight for your son.

What you have said about your wife doesn't make her in the eyes of the law, unfit to be your child's mother and take care of him. Taking prescribed medication for depression does not make your wife a drug addict or mentally disturbed. Having 2 children and giving them up for adoption, means she was young and made a mistake, but did the right thing by giving them up for adoption when she knew she couldn't properly take care of them.

In order for your wife to get custody, she will have to prove to the court that she can provide a proper home with a bedroom for him to sleep in that he doesn't have to share with an adult. She will also have to show the court that she can support her self and the child.

You didn't exactly say, but I get the impression that at this time, your son is living with you. Is your wife still living with you at this time also?

The longer your son is living with you before you go to court, the better your chances are of getting custody. Also if your wife has temporary custody of your son, she can not move your son out of the state without your permission or the courts permission.

From what you have said, you sound like you are financially and emotionally the better parent here. I hope you win custody of your son. Don't give up the fight, your son is worth every penny. In fact I would try to find the best lawyer your money can buy to fight for custody. There are lawyers out there that specialize in custody suits. It doesn't sound like you wife can afford a very good lawyer.

Good luck!

Answer 3

yes it is worth fighting for.. don't let her win and take your son away..

get a good lawyer and fight fight fight..

good luck.

Answer 4

the court will see the meds for depression  as her actively helping herself, so forget that one. suicide attempt years back, they wont hold that against her now, maybe you didnt know until you were married, but unless that is the reason you are getting divorced now, i suggest dropping that too.(its old news) making more money doesnt make one better or worse on the parenting scale. you can fight it if you want, but if she has a good enough lawyer they will make you look like a vindictive fool. thats what happened to my ex, but it still cost both of us over $20,000.

Answer 5

I really believe that it's nearly impossible for a man to get custody of a child.  I think that there is a gender bias in this country and men are one of the most discriminated against people when it comes to family law.  Unless the mother is a drug addicted, abusive mother, I doubt  you have much of a chance for custody.  I'm sorry.....it's just our unfair family court system.

Answer 6

Most of the time children are better off with their Mother.  DHR usually decides about either parent being un fit, unless you have to go before the Probate Judge.  You can't just take any info to court.  They ask you questions,  that's why they are called the Judge.  They look at things such as the cleanliness of the home, it the child is being fed, they look for abuse, physical and mental.  They don't really care if he has his own room or not.  Her past has nothing to do with whether she is a fit Mother now or not.  She could say she was taking medication because of you.  I would be careful about pressing any issues such as that.  Judges tend to frown on men who do that due to the fact they think you are trying to get out of paying child support; which is usually the reason men want custody anyway.  If I had to bet, that is an issue with you also............You are the Father.  Give her enough child support so she can get a job and get her and your son somewhere to live.  Are you the reason she is not working now?  Did you encourage her to stay at home?  Chances are that you did.  My advise would be to take care of what you need to take care of before you get more than you bargain for.  

Answer 7

You have a strong case for having full-custody.  The only thing holding you back is your individual state's laws on custody.  Colorado, for example, does not recognize full-custody; therefore, no matter how strong your case may be, it may not matter in Iowa.

Answer 8

children are always`worth fighting for but dont take his mother away from him he needs both his parents in his life . try and come to some sort of arrangment that is best for your son

even if you need to do this through the courts

but he needs his mother as much as his father  

Answer 9

all of those things are good reasons for the child to be placed with you instead. but it seems like alot of it happened before yall got married (and i'm assuming had the kid) so you will need to prove that she is still unfit. make sure you bring up the job thing. also is her brother a bad guy? is there a reason she shouldnt live with him?

Answer 10

Good question. I know that it will be costly and long to do such a thing. the laws are in the favor of the woman or custodial parent. They are unfair. You will find out how unfair when you go to court.

As far as attempting suicide. It was years back and not currently. I can tell you most people think about suicide  a few times in life, this is not as abnormal as you may think. If she suffered from a post-pardon depression, this is not abnormal either. Harming herself is not the same as harming someone else. The fact that she is taking med's is good for her, she is aware of a problem and is doing a reasonable thing to control it.

The details are the facts that you and your attorney will need to make a good decision. But, I know that each parent in a divorce/custody case always makes the other out to be the crazy one, and there are two sides to each story. Unless you are Nancy Grace. Be aware that her attorney will bring out all the bad things about you too. Your drinking habits, your working hours, your social life, your med's., your hobbies, everything.

Good luck, and think about the money and time you will spend. Would the money you will pay for an attorney about $15K to $25K, be better spent of the child? And you will still have to pay child support and all other orders by the court during the case hearings.

Answer 11

I don't know what the laws are like in the States. I live in Canada and with my daughter, I can't move her anywhere without his consent. I would have to kidnap her to get her out of this city. And well that just doesn't work too well with the law. And I don't plan to spend any time in jail, any time soon.

She sounds like a terrible mom. And I wish that was enough to win these custody battles. Do you have things documented? What you are telling us is heresay. And she might just lie to the courts.

You have a very good chance at winning this but you need to go in there, stand your ground, let the courts know exactly what is going on. I hope to GOD you win. Your son needs you. Sounds like the ex is one of those moms that just do it to cause a bunch of heartache.

I wish you the best of luck.

Hopefully the judge rules you as most fit parent.

Answer 12

WHY DON'T YOU JUST TRY it - you have nothing to loose, because she has nothing to fight you with, and you have EVERYTHING to gain.  Just do it.