Can I put a time limit for my engagement?

Question

Can I say, "I dont want to marry you if we cant get married in the next month"?

Can I say that?

Answer 1

sister, I can imagine what u r feeling.  May be I'd feel the same in your situation... and what you say is true but it is just a trial for you.  Family, children, they are all adornment of this world, and a TRIAL.  what you are asking for is because you are thinking islamic way, and Allah made things easy this way... and your honest true feelings. but often family and others don't take the islaamic ways fully.  

Please accept the fact that Allah already has it written the date, and exact time of your marriage, and you cannot make it any faster or slower than that specific time.  Make dua', try to talk to everyone, and then be patient.  At the end it's in the hands of Allah.

Answer 2

I guess I'll say be careful with that because where I live, one girl tried to hurry and speed up the wedding and the guy then broke the engagement with her.

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One month.  That's exactly what the girl said.  The guy wanted to wait a year to finish some things in his life (training, school, something like that) but the girl and her family was insisting to speed it up to happen in one month.  The guy broke it off and many people look down on the girl and her family as "gold diggers" now.

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The story I gave you is a true one from where I live, doesn't have to be true for you though.  It might work out fine for you.  Just you and your family talk with the guy and his family to work it out and come to an agreement.

Answer 3

Its fine.  Most people i know though wait 6 months to a year to get to know the person first.  

Answer 4

That wouldnt be a good idea, unless there is a VERY good reason for this, which ur intended fiance' should already know about(unless ur one of them girls thats just gotta have everything her way all the time-which i hope ur not) then i would wait atleast 6 months, that way u have enough time to plan the whole wedding out and there is time to fix a problem should one arise(i.e-bridesmaid cancels, or cant be a bridesmaid n-emore,death in the family,sickness,things like that) and another thing, u wont stress out as much and ull prolly be able to get the flowers u want, the caterer and things like that to!

Answer 5

OUCH

Answer 6

i dont know

the sooner the better =]

i think an extra month would be okay lol

Answer 7

Practice patience and if it is not panning out like you think it should and it doesn't look like it will happen, then decide. But practice some patience sister. Cause YOU WILL NEED IT ONCE YOU GO THREW WITH IT.

In a good way, of course.

EDIT: Patience is with Allah. Does that answer your question? There is a reason you two are not married right now. Just be patient.

EDIT: I thought you were putting a time limit on him. And you have to cut him some slack. But your other question answers it. I hope you have a wonderful life and please be patient but don't put up with BS that you know is not right. (had to throw that in there).

peace

Answer 8

how about if you say, " We have to get married in the next month"

Answer 9

You can say that if you want.  Just be ready for him to say no if he wants to wait longer than a month.  Are you ready to plan a wedding in less than a month?