Can I scold my own grandmother? and how?

Question

My grandmother is very old and her personality has changed for the worse lately. She lives with me, and has started to treat my dogs badly.

At first she spoke to them roughly and nudged them away from her with her foot. But lately she's kicked at them, and purposely run into them with her walking frame.

I dont think she's hurting them, but it upsets me that they are being treated poorly.

I really dont want to tell her off for it. I am torn between the duty to respect my elder and keep her happy, and the responsibility to my pets.

What should I do????

Answer 1

I would ask her, nicely, why she feels the need to treat the dogs that way, perhaps they are getting under her feet and bothering her and something can be worked out?

You don't need to scold her about it, just talk to her about it in a calm, adult manner, and express how upset you are by her behaviour towards your dogs.

Answer 2

Personally I wouldn't be nice about it.

Regardless of her age, and regardless of whether she is actually hurting the animals or not, what she is doing is animal cruelty, and WILL be affecting the animals emotionally in a bad way.

It's also illegal.

If she was my grandmother, I would be very honest, and I wouldn't bother trying to be nice about it.

But that's just me.

Perhaps you should politely remind her that what she is doing is actually illegal and is considered abusive.

Answer 3

Kick the old ***** out

Answer 4

Honey your stuck between a rock and a hard place.

I would gently ask her if she finds the dogs are getting in her way and are they hurting her, if she asks you why just explain that you have seen her nudge them and you could keep them out of her way for her, say "I don't want them to hurt you or get in your way as I would hate for you to fall over, but I do love these little dogs,like as though they are my children, so how can I help you with this"?

I know it must be hurting you so much, I hope this has helped, and I hope she stops with the nudging, as they are your babies.  But just try to turn it around as not to insult her.

Good Luck honey and I hope it works out.  Let me know how it goes.

Minny :-)

Answer 5

Holly summed it up in a nutshell...

This could be a sign that things aren't right with your grandmother.. I know it is very hard to see your dogs being mistreated... BUT just pay a little attention to other factors in her behaviour ...

she MAY be beginning to suffer from Alzheimers..

speak to your Doctor re the Possibilities of Alzheimers being to blame .. It may be a matter more serrious that having to scold her.

Answer 6

Don't worry the dogs will work it out and learn to keep out of her way but you could ask her what the problem is and let the dogs know that being near her is not acceptable for their own good and for hers Good luck

Answer 7

Just politely tell Grandma please don't do that to them, it breaks my heart to see them getting hurt.

Answer 8

This is a very hard situation. Mostly, old peoples are very humurous creatures. See you could talk to her with some happy jokes. Or you could also ask her to tell you something happy about her young days?

Especially something that she is very proud of.

Answer 9

It sounds like your Grandmother, with her age and personality change, is probably experiencing a form of dementia - the same thing happened to my Grandmother, that's how I know. The truth is, if that's what's happening to her, scolding her won't do a thing anyway, because she won't fully understand the situation or she won't remember later anyway. The best thing you can do is keep your dogs away from her, in another room, or outside, or at least with you so you can keep an eye on them.

Best Regards,

Holly

Answer 10

As people get old they tend to get less serotonin released into the brain, this makes them less tolerant to other people and animals. It's called "Angry old men syndrome" but it's still wrong for your grandmother to treat your animals that way. I'd suggest that you gently inform her that you disapprove of her actions, and it hurts you to see your animals treated this way. If that does not work then end being nice to her and tell her what you really think! Have a great day.

Answer 11

You mentioned that her personality has changed for the worse . . . so confronting her may not do any good, she may not remember the conversation the next day, unfortunately.  If she harms your dogs, make sure to keep them away from her, but realize they are pretty smart and know to keep at arms length from a person who has harmed them.  They will start to avoid her totally if they feel she is harming them.

Answer 12

First step, scold the dogs when they go near her and discourage them from going to her.  When she "mistreats" the dogs, just politely say, grandma or whatever you call her please don't do that, just tell them to go away please.

In other words, work on both the dogs and grandma.  The dogs are smart enough to obey you when you tell them to leave grandma alone.

Answer 13

I think the number one thing you have to watch out for is being rude. I would probably make light of the problem at first, tell her calmly, almost laughing, that she shouldn't be violent towards the dogs. Maybe ask her why she is doing it and tell her that it bothers you.

If she doesn't understand and continues to do it. You might have to lay down the law. She is in your home now. The roles are reversed, she has to do what you say.

  

Answer 14

Say No! No! No! Bad Grandma! Bad Grandma!

Answer 15

i agree with holly.and start your statement with a positive phrase,like "you know i love you,but...." and end it with the same.goodluck!

Answer 16

If she doesn't respect you and your pets, you can tell her off. If she wants to be respected she should respect others too.  

Answer 17

You could at least tell her how you feel towards her, in a nice way. Not in a way that you'll "scold" her. After all she's still your grandmother and she needs some respect.

Answer 18

maybe try keeping the dogs away from her. being old isnt easy for a person. but scolding her wouold mak it worse for her and probabbly make you feel bad afterwords. i would never ever in my lifee scold my grandparents or any relative for that matter. but it really depends on the relationships and family morals and values.

Answer 19

Politely and calmly tell her she is being cruel and it upsets you.