Can I speak with an officer for advice concerning my abusive husband without filing a report?

Question

My husband is a very manipulative and powerful man in our town. I dont want him to go to jail, but I want to have our last situation on record somehow, without filing a report. He has been to jail once-but he got it thrown out. He has threatened me when I told him I wanted to report it. I am concerned. I have a 3 yr old daughter. Is there SOME way I can sit down and talk to a poliece officer in my town and mabey get advice without blowing this thing up into an unpredictable situation?

Answer 1

It depends on the situation. There are many forms of abuse, and sometimes, the officer may have to make a judgement call to act on what they might feel is a threatening situation for you and your shild. Not acting, obviously puts you in Jeopardy, but once reported if you do nothing and the child gets hurt, they can take the child away from both of you.

If all you want is advice, or someone to talk with, a church or womens group would be the place to go. But if the abuse is physical or sexual, you really should just make haste and remove yourself from the situation.

You can never act too soon to protect yourself, but all to often you can be too late.

Answer 2

Find the nearest shelter for abused women, and go now - today - and take your child with you.  The shelter will help you with legal matters as well.  Do not stay with this man one more day if you are concerned.

Answer 3

Junebug:  Please feel free to email me.

Answer 4

How on earth can you "go on record somehow, without filing a report"?

You should grab your kids and run.  If you stay, you must like abuse.  Be strong, stand on your own two feet and surround yourself with friends and family.

You should not be scared & intimidated in your marriage.  If you allow it to continue, you are at fault and I hope you don't get hurt.

Answer 5

In many jurisdictions, police officers do not have discretion when it comes to investigating suspected domestic abuse.   I agree that you should go to a shelter or contact a domestic abuse hotline for advice.  You could also contact a lawyer, who would be your employee and unable to do anything you don't want them to, or contact your local legal aid office for advice.  Having it on the record somehow, and not doing anything about it though may be mutually exclusive goals.