Can I tell a parent that their child MIGHT be autistic?

Question

I have been cutting children's hair for years and used to work in a program for autistic kids in a special ed school.

This boy is only two, but is unlike most of the children I deal with. He runs into my store aimlessly, doesn't make any eye contact, holds toys in his hand and shakes them back and forth, and the only noises i have heard come out of him are high pitched strange sounds, or lower pitched gutteral laughs that come out of no where.

His mom once asked me if he was different than other kids, and I said that if she was worried she should have him evaluated. They still come to me for haircuts, but the dad always looks sad and they never ask me questions anymore. And they have made comments about how he is more active than his baby sister only because she is a girl!

This has happened about 4 times to me in the last 10 years, and i have been right every other time. I always hope I am wrong. This is the most important time for that child. Should i bring it up again?

Thanks

Answer 1

You aren't a doctor and you cannot really put that concern on parents, however if they've asked you questions or you casually mention the behavior reminds you of autistic children and explain how that should trigger the parents to go and get them checked.  Never say your child is or could be autistic.

Answer 2

I would bring it up in a casual way....Just ask how he is at home..You will know if you are going to far by the parents reaction...Tread lightly this is tuff territory!! Good luck

Answer 3

If you work with other children who are autistic and you have been right before I say most certainly yes....  the earlier that a parent finds out the earlier their child can get treatment and early treatment is paramount.    I would DEFINITELY want someone to tell me if this is my child.   Imagine they might be struggling with his behavior and just not sure.   You should feel good that you are able to recognize nad help people in this way.

Answer 4

See if you can become friends with the parents out side of work. Invite them out for dinner. In conversation bring up the fact that you use to work with autistic children. And she if they steer the conversation in that direction. If they don't, don't bring it up again. This way it puts the ball in their court. And it not going to hurt their feelings. And if all else fails at let you all have new friends.

Answer 5

I don't feel as if it is your place. I am a stylist too and although we have close relationships with our clients I don't think you should be giving out medical opinions.

I would maybe ask her if she ever had him evaluated, what they said. Maybe that will open up the conversation. I still would only suggest evaluation. He may just be slow or have something else, it may not even be autism. Either way she will figure it out eventually.  Either at his pediatrcian or when he starts school professionals will figure it out, hopefully sooner. You may have been right 4 other times but this time you could be wrong.

Answer 6

Maybe they already know.  I don't think it is your place to say anything at all.  I would let a medical professional diagnose him.

Answer 7

You could always ask if they had him evaluated. Say something like,

"Last time you were in (or a few months ago) you said you had thought about getting Johnny tested, how did that go?"

Most likely the parents know there is something not right, they may make excuses like "he's just a boy" but most likely they know.  I assume they take him to the doctor for regular check ups, if so the doctor has probably evaluated the child and has talked to the parents.

It's a hard reality to face when there is something wrong with your child, I've had to talk to so many parents about issues their children have, including autism, ADD, ADHD and physical ability problesms. Some parents take it well, others ignore everything.

If you do talk to them good luck, be sensitive:)

Answer 8

No.  They probably already know something is wrong with him.  You can't force them to have him evaluated.  They might be in denial.  It's a shame, I know.

Answer 9

Hmm, that is a tough one.  I am actually in a similar situation currently.  I used to work with autistic children like you, and now I am friends with a couple who has a young boy who I think is mildly autistic.  I haven't yet said anything.

However, I think in your situation, where the parents have actually asked questions you might want to mention your past work with autistic children and say that you have noticed some behaviors in their son that have raised a red flag for you.  At that point it is the parent's duty to go have their child evaluated.  

I am sure that your work in the past has given you a good radar for autism, but the parents would need a doctor to actually diagnose formally.

Good luck, that is a tough situation.  It is good of you to be so thoughtful and concerned.

Answer 10

Yes, but I would say something like "I am not trained to diagnose autism in children, but I see a lot of children, and I see some of the warning signs in him that I have seen in others.  I am not an expert and you don't have to take my advice, but I felt I should mention it to you, as this is a very important time in his development."  They may be responsive to your suggestion, or may get defensive and discontinue visiting you.  Either way, if you feel better knowing you said something, then it's worth it.

Answer 11

I would without using the "A" word.  You could say that you used to work at a school with students that remind you of him, or you could bring up speech.  People are always more open to hearing speech delay rather than autism.  Just as long as he gets into the system and gets some kind of help.  You are right this is a very important time for intervention.

Answer 12

You can certainly suggest it, especially since you've had experience with autistic kids. An autistic child needs special attention as early as possible.

Answer 13

If I was the mother, then I would want to know, so yes, approach her about it. I think she would appreciate it, then she can get help for her little one to enable him to lead as much as a proper life possible

Answer 14

yes

Answer 15

You don't.  You are not qualified to do so.

Answer 16

I do not believe you said anything wrong. You did not come right out and give a diagnosis, you simply said if she was concerned then they could take a child to see a doctor. Nothing really wrong with your comment. I am surprised though that the paediatrician has not noticed anythign wrogn with the child developmentally.

I probably wouldnot mention it again...because you did convey your thoughts with them previously and they may have already seeked out medical advice and are simply saddened by their situation...

Answer 17

Since you are not a teacher, I would say you can definately tell the parent what you think, especially since she asked before.

the thing about teachers telling parents things like that, is the parent can turn and say that the school has to pay for evaluations and doctor visits because it was the teacher who "diagnosed"

you aren't a doctor, you aren't actually diagnosing the child, you are just giving your honest opinion to a concerned parent... nothing wrong with that!

Answer 18

That is tough... But I agree with the other poster - it isn't really your place.  They may already know and just don't like to say anything to anyone.

I learned one thing in the past - never tell anyone how to parent or tell them anything negative about their kid.  Put the shoe on the other foot and think if you were in that situation.... Would you want someone to say something to you....

Answer 19

Unfortunately, I just don't think it's your place to tell someone something like that, especially if you don't know for sure.  I mean if it was 100% obvious, then you might be justified, but they come to you for a hair cut (no offense), nothing else.

Answer 20

You need to be very careful and tactful.  They probably already know and may resent you as they might see it, - 'interfering.'  If you are that convinced, then say something, but take care.

http://www.snowdrop.cc/info2.cfm?info_id...

Answer 21

remind them to call the school district early education department, see if there is a parents as teachers program or a first steps program.  get him evaluated.  early intervention is best for the child.  it can fix problems before he's in school.

Answer 22

I don't think you should say anything.  They may have already had him evaluated and are aware if he has issues.  If you do bring it up it may make them uncomfortable and you could lose their business.  While I understand that you are concerned, I don't think it's up to you to bring that up to the parents.  He could just be an unusual child and you might end up offending them.

Answer 23

As a parent, I would want you to tell me. But approach me in a way where I won't feel offended. Good luck and I hope he is okay or gets the help he may need. Autism is not something to take lightly and a couple of red flags that mom or dad may not know about should be shared. When it comes to behavioral disorders like ADHD etc, its best to avoid that, because it can only open a big can of worms. But with autism, I think you should at least say something once.