Can I trust him to be faithful long-distance?

Question

OK, so I met a guy in a foreign country (dated only a few weeks) and he asked me to continue to be his gf after I left (I return to the country in december). This was about a week ago that I came back to the US.

When I left, he actually cried at the airport. Also, he is taking care of my dog while I am away. We talk everyday via phone, text messages, and email.

BUT

I am scared he will cheat on me. When we started dating....it was just because we hooked up in a nightclub and I put out pretty quickly (FIRST TIME EVER DOING THAT. He was the first and only person I ever slept with). But it makes me think that he can easily do that again....just go to a club and hit on a woman and start sleeping with her.

I suppose the real issue is I don't know when it turned from casual s*x into him actually loving me (which I'm pretty sure he does). I don't understand why he didn't want to break up (which is what I wanted to do, he had to pursuade me)

I am 20 and he is 23.

Thoughts on this working out? HONESTLY.

Answer 1

do not expect him to be faithful; its unrealistic.  on the other hand, what you don't know won't hurt you; simply don't ask!  and push the thought from your mind when you start to worry about other girls.  if you are special in his heart, that's what matters.

Answer 2

Move on Youngen

Answer 3

Lol 20 year old virgin. Not making fun just saying. I would never commit to anything long distance, it sounds like this guy wants you to be like his mistress while he sleeps around. Wouldnt do it if i was you

Answer 4

interesting, very interesting. i wouldn't trust him.

Answer 5

Sorry... The simple answer is no he will NOT be honest and faithful to you.

You met in a night club... You hooked up that night and he was your first. The man is 23 he has done this before... Why did he say he wanted you to be long-distance? Because it's easy that way he can do whatever he wants and come to you whenever that isn't cutting it.

Sadly long-distance relationships rarely work out. He may love you, but when he runs into another foreign girl at a night club looking for a night of excitement and passion who's to say she wont be the same thing to you?

Do not cripple your social and emotional development by believing he can be faithful thousands of miles away. Let him know if he ever returns to you, the two of you can be together.

Answer 6

You know I've had a somewhat similar situation, though not identical.

I met my current boyfriend in a nightclub, I wasn't out to meet anyone, just dancing with my girlies and we happend to start dancing together, ended up having a chat, and hooked up in the club later on.  I had never kissed a 'random' in a club before, but we just clicked and that night i decided I'd be a little more daring since he was so smoking hot...but no way was I going home with him.

He got my number, called me the next day, we didn't sleep together for a week but we did hang out a lot.  I had a lot of doubts to start with, thought he must be a player seeing as he was so hot and so rediculously nice etc, and seemed to interract so well with me, and was fairly quick to kiss me.

We now love each other very much, talk on the phone, text and see each other as much as possible.  i have no doubts whatsoever that he is being faithful to me, even though we live a fair way apart and dont necessarily see each other as much as we'd like.

I guess what i'd think from your situation is, YES he was quick to hook up with you, but you were quick to hook up with him too right? Have you thought maybe he's thinking the same about you, seeing as you were quick with him, will you be quick with someone else as well when he's no around?  do you know for a fact that he's been into a lot of one night stands before you?  Maybe you two just 'clicked' straight away, and yes u slept together quickly but that doesn't mean he's going to cheat on you...

Have you spoken to him about this?  If i were you, I'd tell him I was really worried, and I really needed him to reassure me he'd be faithful because I can't live constantly worried.

Remember too, guys do have feelings as much as we do, he may be as worried as you are, trust your gut instincts, not all guys have just one thing on their mind, if he's seen something special in whatever you guys have, he may very well see it as being worth waiting for.  Everyone says guys just have one thing on their mind, and many very well do, but there are an aweful lot that aren't quite as shallow as that, I have so many guy friends that just want someone to love and care about, s*x with as many girls as they can isn't always what they want!

hope this helps :)

Answer 7

Why did you hang out in such a place in the first place, if you, subconciously, know that guys from there may not be reliable.

I wouldn't trusts any guys who like hanging out in such places such as nightclubs etc, thus, I have never been there in my life.

I know my boyfriend of 3 years, an Italian,  from an on-line community which is not for dating service, but a finance community for people who are interested in financial stuffs.  Later I found that he is a young doctor, a catholic, a very honest guy.  We plan to get marry in 3 months.

Sometimes long distance relationship works, but it all depends on your lucks.

Edit:

I gave a thumb down to Answerer " F", because, I disagree with her for the way she prefers to lie to herself of " don't ask and don't think" method for whats going on with her boyfreind in order to keep the relationship going on.

I don't think a relationship can last just because we tolerate him and allow him to do anything even if he is unfaithful to us, and we just pretend not to know about that.  No, I don't think it is correct.  I don't think an unfaithful man worths my love, at all.