Can Muslims date without marrying?

Question

I'm 16 and a reverted muslimah from Christianity!! My dad(Christian) told me that Muslims have to get someone from the Mosque to go with them on the date in case someone violates the female..IS THIS ACCURATE? I want to date without looking for a husband until I am ready!!!

Answer 1

Mashallah!  It's nice to know you converted from Christianity to Islaam in such an early age.  May Allah make the path easy for you ameen.

Your father is somewhat correct.  

First of all, in Islaam, free mixing between the sexes isn't allowed except when neccessity.  neccessity doesn't mean you think you need or want if you know what I mean, but that it is absolutely neccessery and there is no way around it. i.e. going to work to feed one's self and family.

This is mainly to prevent all the corruption that are prevelant in many parts of the world today, i.e. fornication, adultery, cheating etc.

Taken from

http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/13747/dat...

It is not permissible for a Muslim man to date a non-mahram woman and go out with her, because Allaah has forbidden the believers to do that as He says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Made lawful to you this day are At‑Tayyibaat [all kinds of Halaal (lawful) foods, which Allaah has made lawful (meat of slaughtered eatable animals, milk products, fats, vegetables and fruits)]. The food (slaughtered cattle, eatable animals) of the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians) is lawful to you and yours is lawful to them. (Lawful to you in marriage) are chaste women from the believers and chaste women from those who were given the Scripture (Jews and Christians) before your time when you have given their due Mahr (bridal-money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage), desiring chastity (i.e. taking them in legal wedlock) not committing illegal sexual intercourse, nor taking them as girlfriends. And whosoever disbelieves in Faith, [i.e. in the Oneness of Allaah and in all the other Articles of Faith i.e. His (Allaah’s) Angels, His Holy Books, His Messengers, the Day of Resurrection and Al‑Qadar (Divine Preordainments)], then fruitless is his work; and in the Hereafter he will be among the losers”

[al-Maa'idah 5:5]

And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“And when you ask (his wives) for anything you want, ask them from behind a screen, that is purer for your hearts and for their hearts”

[al-Ahzaab 33:53]

And the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No man is ever alone with a (non-mahram) women but the Shaytaan is the third one present.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2165; classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 1758)

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If you wish to get married then yes you'd need to get a walee (guardian... someone elderly and rightious or a good imaam) and there needs to be two male witnesses and mahr (wedding gift for the woman)or the amount stated for the marriage contract to be valid.

But my suggestion though is, don't overburden yourself with things too much too quick unless you can handle.  Just gain knowledge about Islaam, accept and try to reach perfection as time passes.  Placing too much burden leads to weakness in imaan and becoming incapable of doing even the basic duties.  At the same time, too much liniency also causes the imaan to be weak.

Answer 2

Muslims cannot date as dating can cause the couple to do many things which is totally haram before marriage, if u know what i mean..

C'mon you are just 16 now, u dont need to worry bout it now :)

When you have to fall in love, you will love someone one day, i know dating makes everything easier :D but it is haram haram in Islam :D

It can bring lusty thoughttts too which is haram :D

So for avoiding these things Islam considers dating haram but you can surely fall in love and thats not haram, wait for the right guy ;)

Answer 3

Muslim girls and boys DON'T date period.....

With or without a chaperon its not permissible in Islam.

Answer 4

No that is haraam.  It is encouraged by the prophet(Salla Allahu alhai Wa Salaam) to get married young if you fear you can not hold back from sexual temptations and lusts that come from Satan.  Or if you can not get married, then it is recommended you fast until your sexual desires fade.

Answer 5

Salam

One of the issues that converts to Islam often have to deal with is the rules regarding modesty. Men and women have to dress modestly. They cannot touch each other unless they are closely related (father, brother). They can talk with each other normally, but not intimately. They cannot be alone together in a room. Since touching and intimate conversation are part of the dating experience, the chaperone that your father mentioned is a moot point. However, this is not the end of your social life.

To find a husband, a woman usually turns to some trusted female friends or the leader of the mosque. They do some networking for her. Women often consult with their husbands, brothers, etc. to find out which men are available according to your interests. Then they would tell you who is out there around your age and who shares your interests.

The social life of a Muslim woman is filled to the brim with activities with other women. All of the shopping, restaurant-hopping, movie-watching, etc. is doubled now that dating is done. Muslim women also attend several religious functions such as speeches and get-togethers.

Some things to watch out for:

* Many Muslim women, both converts and born Muslims, can be addicted to gossip. This is something that converts don't expect, so it is worthwhile to caution each other about it.

* Some aunties may try to hook you up with their sons or nephews who are yet living abroad so that the boy can get his green card. Don't bother getting involved in that mess. Insist on someone who already has his own green card and who is well-versed in life in the West without having adopted an un-Islamic lifestyle.

* Since Islam calls for a high degree of modesty, those who are established Muslims (born Muslims or converted ages ago) and who are not themselves modest are more likely to take advantage of a new convert. If a Muslim male approaches you for a short-term relationship or a relationship that involves physical contact, intimate speech, or seclusion, know that he is indeed taking advantage of you and has no intention whatsoever of marrying you. He will dump you when the next prospect come along or when his fmaily arranges a marriage for him. If he does one day marry you, he will be unsatisfyingly un-religious and disinterested in things like praying, fasting, and attending the mosque.

We Muslims are not all bad. It's just that we're not all angels, either. If you need anything, feel free to ask more or to email one of us.

Answer 6

no dating allowed. the only time you can go on a "date" is when you are looking for your potential husband and even then you need a third person with you.

Answer 7

NO, No way!!

NO date at all!!

Answer 8

Dating leads to kiss, kiss leads to s*x. Even if u don't have the intention, u are forbidden to date before marriage.

Answer 9

No that's not right! u can't do that but if u are afriad you'll get violated(which is against Islam) u can have lesson like Karate and then u can defend your own self! Glad u converted to Islam and welcome my sister!!! May Allah always giude u to do the best amen!

Answer 10

Get out from the Christianity and enter into the realm of Islam. Thas not how things work in Islam. No dating before marriage. And why would u wanna date that early? There's a whole big world out there besides dating and loving issues.  

Answer 11

First I want to say WELCOME TO ISLAM SISTER!=)

Dating" as it is currently practiced in much of the world does not exist among Muslims -- where a young man and woman (or boy/girl) are in a one-on-one intimate relationship, spending time together alone, "getting to know each other" in a very deep way before deciding whether that's the person they will marry.  Rather, in Islam pre-marital relationships of any kind between members of the opposite s*x is forbidden.

The choice of a marriage partner is one of the most important decisions a person will make in his or her lifetime.  It should not be taken lightly, nor left to chance or hormones.  It should be taken as seriously as any other major decision in life - with prayer, careful investigation, and family involvement.

So in today's world, how do young people manage?  First of all, Muslim youth develop very close friendships with their same-s*x peers.  This "sisterhood" or "brotherhood" that develops when they are young continues throughout their lives.  When a young person decides to get married, the following steps often take place:

Young person makes du'a for Allah to help him or her find the right person

The family enquires, discusses, and suggests candidates.  They consult with each other to narrow down potential prospects.  Usually the father or mother approaches the other family to suggest a meeting.

Couple agrees to meet in chaperoned, group environment.  Umar related that the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, "Not one of you should meet a woman alone unless she is accompanied by a relative (mahram)" (Bukhari/Muslim).  The Prophet (peace be upon him) also reportedly said, "Whenever a man is alone with a woman, Satan (Shaytan) is the third among them" (Tirmidhi).  When young people are getting to know each other, being alone together is a temptation toward wrongdoing.  At all times, Muslims should follow the commands of the Qur'an (24:30-31) to "lower their gaze and guard their modesty...."  Islam recognizes that we are human and are given to human weakness, so this rule provides safeguards for our own sake.

Family investigates candidate further - talking with friends, family, Islamic leaders, co-workers, etc. to learn about his or her character.

Couple prays salat-l-istikhara (prayer for guidance) to seek Allah's help in making a decision.

Couple agrees to pursue marriage or part ways.  Islam has given this freedom of choice to both young men and women - they cannot be forced into a marriage that they don't want.

This type of focused courtship helps ensure the strength of the marriage, by drawing upon family elders' wisdom and guidance in this important life decision.  Family involvement in the choice of a marriage partner helps assure that the choice is based not on romantic notions, but rather on a careful, objective evaluation of the compatibility of the couple.  That is why these marriages often prove successful.

AND ALLAH KNOWS BEST!

Answer 12

nope dear , no dating  

Answer 13

no its not allowed for a muslim to meet his fionsay before there marriage. thanks

Answer 14

They can if they want, but they aren't supposed to~!

Answer 15

Dude, no!!! You cannot date like that!!

Dating is unIslamic!

hopefully Islam will pull you away from all that fashion nonsense you ramble on about in your profile.

Answer 16

WE don't date clear and simple :)

Instead if one wants to get to know a proposed partner they can  but maintain within the boundaries and having a  person there. Why date since one can fall into many sins etc and why allow one to exploit you. Ahhh the wisdom behind Islam is great!

Answer 17

LOL .. no dating allowed, I read somewhere you can take your brother or your mom or dad along with you if you want to go, I wonder if thats an accurate info what I read :D

Welcome to Islam..May Allah bless you..