Can Someone Grade My SAT Essay Please?

Question

Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below.

Technological advances have freed society from tiresome labor, such as washing clothes by hand, hauling heavy loads, and walking long distances, and have given people increased access to information and entertainment. Yet, when given a choice, many people still resist using modern conveniences. There must be something to be gained from not using technology

Assignment:

Are there benefits to be gained from avoiding the use of modern technology, even when using it would make life easier? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

Answer 1

Two people grade it and the maximum you can receive from each grader is 8 (highest total is 16).  I would give you a 3 because you dont follow the rules correct english grammar.  You use words like some, us, and I.  Don't use "some" because that tells the reader that you are not sure and not absolutely confident in your argument.  You just don't use the word "us" in an essay.  Don't use the word "I" because the reader already knows you are the writer and you don't need to reinforce factual knowledge.

Answer 2

A 3 (6 for a total) at the most.  Your vocabulary is relatively limited (especially in the opening... GREAT IDEAS, but if you were to outdo the vocab, thats an easy point extra from each grader.  In addition, your use of "YES" in the 1st paragraph is very elementery.  Don't directly answer the question as if you were talking... instead say ... - does or does not! or something similar.