Can Someone Please Grade this SAT Essay? (1 out of 6) Thank you!?

Question

Prompt 2

Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below.

Being loyal—faithful or dedicated to someone or something—is not always easy. People often have conflicting loyalties, and there are no guidelines that help them decide to what or whom they should be loyal. Moreover, people are often loyal to something bad. Still, loyalty is one of the essential attributes a person must have and must demand of others.

Adapted from James Carville, Stickin': The Case for Loyalty

Assignment:

Should people always be loyal? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

Answer 1

4

Answer 2

Great references. The personal reference you give should be taken out though. The paragraph has about f 4 I's. Maybe make that an example in litature. Even though it can be debated the essay readers don't really care what you think. Make a stronger argument. I give it a 4.

Answer 3

Even though they give you free reign in these essays and you could make up whatever information you wanted to fit the scenario, your writing just feels to informal. You used good examples except for the personal. A personal story would be fine except that it made me feel like you were writing your best friend a letter. Like I said more formal. And I'm still not sure if "I's" are a good idea to use in SAT writing. I don't know the rules  about first person, but it would make it a bit more formal without it. All around I'd give it a 3 or 4 because of the examples.

Answer 4

I've never seen the word fiasco used so many times in a formal essay...lol

I'm guessing thats your favorite word

I'd give it a three...