Can You Cheer Me Up?!?!?

Question

I feel like chopping my head off! Something horrible happened to my hamster, and I feel like it's MY fault! I don't think I did it, but it seems that way! I don't wanna say what happened, but I'd like somebody to please make me smile. I like jokes... Maybe, you could tell me a joke. It has to be really funny, and about anything BUT hamsters! Thanks...

Answer 1

two muffins were baking in the oven one muffin said "wow it's getting hot in here" The other muffin said " O MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN"

I know lame right well that all I have sorry about your hamster

Answer 2

I am sorry for your loss and I hope you feel better soon. Here are some jokes and thoughts to ponder.

What type of tracks?

Two lawyers were out hunting when they came upon a couple of tracks. After close examination, the first lawyer declared them to be deer tracks. The second lawyer disagreed, insisting they must be elk tracks.

They were still arguing when the train hit them.

Is she feeling any better?

Doctor: Nurse, how is that little girl doing who swallowed ten quarters last night?

Nurse: No change yet.

Ponderings collection 01

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

Ponderings collection 04

Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?

Why do they call them "apartments" when they are all stuck together?

Why is there an expiration date on SOUR cream?

If you keep trying to prove Murphy's Law, will something keep going wrong?

Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing?

How can someone "draw a blank"?

Shouldn't there be a shorter word for "monosyllabic"?

Why is the word "abbreviate" so long?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

What is another word for "thesaurus"?

Answer 3

You might not want to read these answers if you really want to cheer up. People might not be sensitive to your problem. Watch a comedy.

Sorry about your hamster, I know how you feel.

PackerGirl's muffin joke is hilarious. Muffin is a funny word.

Answer 4

ok type in how can I get a job in yahoo answera you will get a  good laf! l@l

Answer 5

hi i don't know if you heard this joke before but if you haven't feel free to laugh......

(drawf on a plane)

a midget was on a plane and carring a bag. he couldn't put it up in the compartment so a fellow traveller said

"let me help" and threw it up, the bottle and valuble in the bag smashed. the drawf said angered

"i'm not happy" the traveler said

"then which one are you?" impling the seven drawfs.

Answer 6

hey Alex, I bet it was Grumpy.