Can a 4 year old comprehend that we don't harm each other because might doesn't make right?

Question

I'm having trouble articulating the immorality of this commonly held principle to my son so that he will have a reasonable basis for his refusal to initiate force outside of self-defense.

Answer 1

A 4 year old isn't able to understand immorality. but he can understand that hitting hurts and in your family people do not hit people or animals. Make things simple  use words he understands, continue to teach him by example and discussion

Answer 2

NO

Answer 3

Yes they can if you word it so a 4 year old can comprehend it.  4 year olds are very smart, you just need to come to their level, not try to bring them up to an adults.

For a 4 year old you would need to explain:

articulating, immorality, principle, reasonable, basis, refusal, initiate, pretty much everything you wrote.

Answer 4

I told my son it's illegal if he hits someone they have the right to press charges and he can go to jail if they do so keep your hands to yourself. He remembered that one!

Answer 5

By age 4 a child should have enough of a vocabulary to use there words.  They know right from wrong or should.

Answer 6

He's a little young for the concept.  Instead, I'd try to tell him we don't harm each other because we know it hurts.  Also, make sure he knows he doesn't harm anyone because mom says so.

Answer 7

I tell my kindergarten children that they are not allowed to hit because it is wrong. I also tell them that if they hit people when they were adults, they would go to jail, so I have to teach them not to hit now. The word 'jail' usually strikes enough fear to stop the hitting!

Answer 8

abstract ideas are impossible for a young child to understand.  relax.

Answer 9

first of all, it might be a little early using those big words with him.

here would be some of my words:

"son, we dont hurt each other because thats not right"

"have you ever been hurt?" (he says yes)  "yeah, hurting doesn't feel good, and so we don't want to hurt other people"  "when I am hurt, I feel sad"  "do you feel sad when somebody hurts you?" (he will say yes again)  "yeah, so we don't hurt other people"  if he does answer no about being sad, he might respond with "no, i feel angry"  then that is a great sign of how he has learned to be angry instead of sad.  

a great way to teach him compassion and how hurting is wrong is to show him an animal in pain, or dying (sounds horrible i know) but hopefully he will see how pain is not right, and he will show compassion towards the animal, and will want to help it, who knows, that might open up a door for a project for him to help animals.  if you don't like that idea, maybe you have a pet, and have a story of when your pet was in pain or danger.

but your question....can he comprehend that?...YES!  don't get into the immorality of the issue, just try to have him show compassion on others on how he doesn't like being hurt, just like others don't like it ether.  when he gets older, then you can talk self defense as a last resort.  if you are seeing him choose violence as a first response, i would look at what his environment is teaching him.  does he see family members get mad/angry and throw things or hit things when they are mad/angry?  who is modeling a healthy way to deal with anger?  

"son if we are angry, then we should have a time out and calm down"  now that works (worked) great with my son, since we use a time out (one minute per year of age), so that worked hand in hand with our system.  when a time out is "issued"  DO NOT SHOW OR BE ANGRY AT HIM  show compassion and sadness.  "that really makes me sad that we have to have a time out son, thats a bummer" "it makes daddy sad when we have to have a time out"  maybe i'm getting off topic here...but you can check out love&logic.com  it changed my life as well as formed my childs life.

Answer 10

Some might some might not.  Just explain that we don't hurt others because it's wrong to do so.  He wouldn't want others to hurt him, so he should practice that concept.

Answer 11

NOT IN THOSE EXACT TERMS BUT CHOOSE 4 YEAR OLD AGE APPRORIATE WORDS THAT THEY CAN RELATE TO...