Can a Catholic Nuptual Mass include a Baptist Minister?

Question

I have been raised Catholic. My entire family are devout Catholics and are expecting a traditional Catholic wedding in our Church.

My husband-to-be is an agnostic, but everyone in his family are Southern Baptists. His uncle is a Minister and has his own church and everything. I know that it's very important to his uncle to be a part of the service.

I was wondering if there was some way to include him in a significant way. How much leeway is there with the Catholic service?

I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or offend anyone, but I really would like to have my wedding in my church and find a way to include my in-laws.

Does anyone have any experience with this? Any relevant advice would be much appreciated.

Answer 1

Wow!

That completely depends on the church.

Most Catholic churches are very strict.

I only know of 1 church in my city that would do that, and it's affiliated with a Catholic University.

They might allow it ONLY because they don't have a permanent priest for daily services there.

Answer 2

For the most part, Catholic churches are very strict.

My best advice is to talk to the priest who will be officiating your wedding and describe the situation.  A lot depends on the Priest and the Parish and their rules.  Typically there's not a lot of leeway unless the other officiant is Catholic.  Being Baptist, I doubt your fiancee's uncle will be allowed to be a co-celebrant of the ceremony, though.  

You do have some other options... Have the uncle read one of the readings during the Mass.  You could also ask him to say grace at the reception and perhaps perform a special blessing after the Catholic ceremony.

Good luck!

Answer 3

First of all agnostic means "without knowledge" and in practice often refers to those who admit that they cannot prove or deny the existence of a higher power. It doesn't mean that they will lash out at the idea of there being a higher power, it simply means they deny the ability to prove or disprove said existence.

Secondly, just because something isn't "Christian" doesn't automatically make it bad for the children. Having different philosophies present in the household isn't automatically bad for the children, and to suggest that to be the case is possibly indicative of a mentality that is bad for the children. I would suggest that you add some color to your black and white spectrum.

As for the wedding, I'm sure that regardless of what the actual policy is you'll be able to incorporate everyone into the ceremony. If not in the church itself, what about letting the Baptist member of the family lead the reception in prayer or give a speech there, etc? It's your wedding, you'll be able to work them in some how.

Answer 4

You need to ask the priest of your church whether he will permit it. Some absolutely will not, some won't because the diocese doesn't allow it and some are perfectly comfortable with it.  

I'm pagan and my guy is a non-practicing Southern Baptist.  His paternal family are already all over him about not having a S. Baptist minister, but they are 1000 miles away (he's been divorced several times...why is this an issue, I don't know!).  Anyway, I think it's great that you are trying to include something from his half of the family.

Answer 5

First of all, I suggest you have a service without communion.

Secondly, you could only be married in the Catholic church if your husband were to agree to raise the children Catholic... I don't see that happening with an agnostic!

However, should the priest agree to marry you two - there is the possibility that the uncle minister would be able to be involved, but that totally depends upon the parish and the diocese. I've seen concelebrated ceremonies before...

Meet and talk with your parish priest, and good luck with the premarital counselling!

Answer 6

Depends on your diocese and your pastor.

Assuming Roman Rite - you can have another minister be part (my pastor has basically said my fiance's pastor can do pretty much anything except the vows).

Apparently you can also request a dispensation from form and have non-Catholic marriage be considered sacramental by the RC church.

Those two together say that there's a lot of leeway.

Edit: are you having a mass? It is strongly discouraged in cases like yours and might not be allowed by your pastor/diocese. I would recommend against it myself, as it defeats the purpose of the celebration of unity to then have a celebration which only half the attendees can participate fully in.

Also, just as a FYI for non-Catholics here: the RC marriage services do not include a "who gives this woman", I believe it would not be permitted in a wedding persided by a RC priest.

Answer 7

He could be included, but the Catholic priest has to direct the vows.

His uncle could do a reading, or sometimes even the homily if the priest gives permission for this to be done, but the priest is the only one allowed to read the Gospel and lead the vows.

The best thing is to talk to a priest as some churches allow the homily to be given by a minister and some do not.

Answer 8

Depends on your church really. Catholic ceremonies can be pretty strict but like the person above me said, there is some leeway in the homily.

I know the sacraments and vows have to be administered by a Priest. I would check with your church to get a straight answer.

Good luck!

Answer 9

I had ALMOST the same situation... but in our case, my hubby's uncle is also a Catholic priest so that wasn't an issue.

Whether or not he can participate will be completely up to the Priest/Pastor performing the ceremony.  You are going to have to call him and ask him.  It's his Church and his gig, so to speak, so it's his call.  He will tell you whether the uncle can participate and in what capacity.

People on here can give you all sorts of stories, but it really is a case by case kind of thing

Answer 10

I am curious why, if you are such a devout Catholic, you'd choose to marry agnostic.  He'll be telling your kids God isn't real, while you'll be telling them He is.  

Anyway, for the wedding, yes, he can be the one you walk up to, say who gives this woman to be married to this man, and your dad or whoever says,"Her mother and I", or however it's going to be said.  After that, the Baptist Minister can step down and the Priest step up and continue on.

Edit: I do know what I am talking about.  I have had friends do the same as you are, marrying someone who believes completely different from Christianity.  Not good for the kids.